"Shit Was So Cash" Copypasta - Comment #434,506

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Stop Right There Criminal Scum,

My name is Imperial Guard, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are low endurance, low intelligence troublemakers who spend every second of their day looking for laws to break. You are everything bad in Tamriel. Honestly, have any of you ever bought something? I mean, I guess it’s fun stealing shopkeepers’ property because of your low score in mercantile, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than pickpocketing wandering traders when no guards are around.

Don’t be a criminal. Just hit anyone within eyesight. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the running team, and starter on my shouting team. What sports do you play, other than “commit senseless acts of violence and theft against those who cannot defend themselves”? I also have full Imperial Armor, and have arrested the hero many times (She just paid the fine; Shit was SO gold). You are all criminals who should have just payed the fine. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It’s me apprehending a criminal.


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