Jun 08, 2012 at 12:52PM EDT
I think a nice curt epilogue would have worked much better, perhaps just having the story end just as Scoots is about to begin her performance. Also, I personally didn’t like her getting accepted into the bolts. I think it would have worked much better for the overall message of your story if she hadn’t. Your story said to me that “You can still find happiness even if you can’t get what you want.” while getting accepted into the bolts seemed to suggest “Just perservere and you’ll always get what you want.” There is a subtle, but very important difference between those two messages.
Anyway, fantastic story besides for all that. Great job.
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