Mar 19, 2013 at 07:40PM EDT
I ended up getting work in places not most people would want to. I mean, sure, the pay is good, and I’ve been living alright up to this point. The thing is… see, the first few months of my work, I always went to bed feeling terrible for where I ended up, what I did.
I still wish I could go back. I wish I could change a few things, try to fulfill my dream. But… it’s impossible now. I really can’t change anything. These feelings of remorse and such used to weigh down on me. And now they are returning…
So here I am now. Sitting at my computer, listening to the soundtrack of L.A. Noire, with about three fingers of scotch at hand. Here I am thinking about how much I’ve numbed myself to my work. How I can casually joke about it. How I’m confessing all this in a post for strangers online to read.
I need to breathe. I need a change. I can’t pursue my dreams, but I can at least change it, can I? So. I’ve resolved myself. I’m going to look for a new line of work. I don’t want to be numb to my actions anymore. I can’t take it. I need reevaluation.
The hilariousness is, there is no joke. Ha ha…
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