Apr 10, 2013 at 10:02PM EDT
With a lingering illness that I don’t have any control over, I’ve had a chance to literally practice my faith. I can shake off a sprained ankle, I can come back from a broken bone a few weeks earlier than I should have, but I can’t do much with my intestines. I’ve sent up many prayers only to have an answer/lack of one that made me, er, well, furious. But I’m naturally an angry person who doesn’t like to be helpless. It’s a new thing for me to actually have to rely and have no say in the matter. Could heal on its own, infection could still be there, could be cancer…can’t do a thing about any of them. All I can do is pray for healing. But as you sorta hit on (in regards to the Bible), it is my decision to do as such: to rely and be certain…without being certain. I don’t question the power of God. I recognize millions of Christians have died or have been killed while crying out to Him. I simply believe that He’ll heal me. That’s a tangent in itself…But I have more to say, but as I say, not in this state of mind.
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