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Corrupt a Wish

Last posted Dec 22, 2014 at 12:20PM EST. Added Nov 19, 2013 at 12:30AM EST
1841 posts from 222 users

page get.

Granted, but sadly the voice of Spongebob, Tom Kenny, passed away the day after the acheivement was met and the new voice of Spongebob is Jamie Kennedy

I wish to have a swimming pool.

Last edited Nov 20, 2013 at 08:54PM EST
Nov 20, 2013 at 08:53PM EST

Granted, but a tranner comes along and captures you in a regular pokéball which you remain in for the rest of time.

I wish a wish.

Nov 20, 2013 at 10:01PM EST

You get a wish, but it will be corrupted.

I wish for someone to kill my “Gamer” post. I’m actually being serious about this.

Nov 20, 2013 at 10:34PM EST

Granted, but nobody thinks you’re being serious so they just laugh at you going “Ha ha funny joke Nitrochu, very Meta” while your post remains.

I wish the voices in my head would just shut the fuck up already!

Nov 21, 2013 at 10:39AM EST

The voices in your head shut up, but now actual ghosts haunt you.
I wish I had a Klondike bar.

Nov 21, 2013 at 02:16PM EST

Granted, but it’s been left out in the sun for a bit too long and now you must drink it.

I wish I had the ability to turn back time and undo stupid shit I have done.

Nov 21, 2013 at 02:25PM EST

Granted. You may now have a chance to undo what you have done, but doing so will severely alter the course of history, resulting in your premature death or an end-of-the-world scenario. Should have wished for an instruction manual, meddling with time is srs bsns.

I wish, I wish, with all my heart
To fly with dragons, in a land apart.

Last edited Nov 21, 2013 at 02:41PM EST
Nov 21, 2013 at 02:39PM EST

Granted, but now you’re just stuck in the show that no one watches anymore.

I wish Tenzi were dead.

Nov 21, 2013 at 05:15PM EST

Granted, but you killed Tzeni Maynard instead of Tzeni Mpotsi.

I wish I could cartwheel without getting injured.

Nov 21, 2013 at 06:59PM EST

The genie who you are wishing to is not sure what you mean by “mpotsi sock puppeting”, so to be safe he removes all socks from the universe. Have fun with those blisters, buddy.
I wish that Justin Beiber became good at singing and composing so this stupid circlejerk can stop.

Nov 22, 2013 at 01:16AM EST

Granted, but the only way to do that was to kill everyone who wasn’t already a fan of Justin.

I wish ponies were real

Nov 22, 2013 at 01:29AM EST

Your wish is granted and it makes these ponies re-real

I’ll go ahead and be more specific by wishing G4 MLP ponies were real

Nov 22, 2013 at 02:04AM EST

Granted, but due to their overwhelming fanbase and the effort of older Bronies, you never get to cum inside Rainbow Dash.

I wish I owned the Lyra plushie.

Nov 22, 2013 at 02:32AM EST

effort of older Bronies,

I’m 26, what other bronies could have bumped me out? Unless Vazquez rounds them all up in his harem and….oh gawd, that’s exactly what happens isn’t it?

I wish I owned the Lyra plushie.

You get it and everything goes swimmingly for a while until you receive a class action lawsuit from Hasbro.Inc for “Violating” their Intellectual Property*. The plush is promptly taken off you.

(*I don’t really know what girls can do with it, but I’m still assuming you have ‘ways’)

I wish my handwriting was so terrible

Nov 22, 2013 at 03:04AM EST

Granted, your handwriting causes everything you write to be read as “shit”.

I wish to be shit.

Nov 22, 2013 at 06:15AM EST

Granted, but you’re rolled up and eaten by a dung beetle. (You repeated yourself.)

I wish for no more war.

Nov 22, 2013 at 09:40AM EST

Granted. I conquer the world and place it under my oppressive rule. I then completely disarm the world population; there is no more war.

I wish for all 7 Chaos Emeralds.

Last edited Nov 22, 2013 at 10:09AM EST
Nov 22, 2013 at 09:58AM EST

Granted, but I also brought along (Super) Sonic.

I wish for a meteor shower to streak across the night sky worldwide.

(Why am I so invisible?)

Last edited Nov 22, 2013 at 10:14AM EST
Nov 22, 2013 at 10:05AM EST

I wish my handwriting was so terrible.

Whoops, that was supposed to be “I wish my handwriting wasnt so terrible”. LOL at the response though.

Sometimes I wonder how I passed that dyslexia examination.

I wish for a meteor shower to streak across the night sky worldwide.

Many of the meteors reach the surface of the earth, triggering apocalyptic levels of destruction throughout the world. Thousands of lives and cities are lost from the numerous impacts,

Worst of all, all the satellites are destroyed and you no longer have Dish TV

I wish I would stop staying up so late

Last edited Nov 22, 2013 at 10:13AM EST
Nov 22, 2013 at 10:10AM EST

Granted, but now you can never sleep ever again.

I wish I know all the secrets and mystery’s of the universe.

Granted, but one of them hits the Earth releasing The Colour Out of Space in a random city.

Last edited Nov 22, 2013 at 10:15AM EST
Nov 22, 2013 at 10:11AM EST

Granted, but now you’re immobile, unable to comprehend all that knowledge, like Beth’s horse. (It’s a Bravest Warriors thing)

I wish Ninjas and Pirates would stop being overused.

Nov 22, 2013 at 10:24AM EST

Wish granted

I wish my wish will grant my friend’s wish which wish has been wished for another wish to prevent another wish.

Last edited Nov 22, 2013 at 11:13AM EST
Nov 22, 2013 at 10:58AM EST

Granted, but you can’t eat bacon anymore.
I wish rocket jumping was possible.

Nov 22, 2013 at 02:41PM EST

Granted, but as soon as you start, you get sniped.

@Alex Mercer: Aren’t they already?

I wish for a perfectly normal table.

Nov 22, 2013 at 02:54PM EST

Granted, but then you get mugged by Mr. Krabs.

I wish Michael Jackson never made his face look like a Serial Killer’s face from a slasher movie.

Nov 22, 2013 at 04:45PM EST

Granted. Now he looks like a demon.
I wish for all cooking knowledge.

Nov 22, 2013 at 04:49PM EST

Granted, but all of your knowledge about cooking meth didn’t prepare you for the police busting down your door and blowing up your lab.

I wish yes.

Nov 22, 2013 at 05:19PM EST

Granted, but you also get no.

I wish for school to be fun, and educating at the same time.

Nov 22, 2013 at 06:43PM EST

Wish granted, but Oliver Cromwell conquers your country and imposes his superior Puritan law shortly there after. You die on christmas eve knowing Christmas is banned.

I wish i was a Puritan.

Nov 22, 2013 at 09:20PM EST

The genie that you are wishing to immediately sends you to a cancer containment center, AKA 9gag.
I wish Vinny of Vinesauce had an even sexier voice.

Nov 23, 2013 at 12:42AM EST

Granted, but everyone who has even HEARD of 9gag dies. Including people who hate it.
I wish for pie. Specifically of the key lime variety. With a dollop of Cool Whip on top.

Nov 23, 2013 at 10:12AM EST

You get one, but there is a sea cucumber inside.

I wish for a sword of ice that never melts.

Nov 23, 2013 at 10:43AM EST

Granted, but it broke in half once you touched it.

I wish to graduate an Ivy League school and enjoy it.

Last edited Nov 23, 2013 at 01:06PM EST
Nov 23, 2013 at 01:06PM EST

Your wish prompts her dog to run under your car as you back out the driveway,

She blames you for her dogs death and never forgives you

I wish for a banana

Nov 23, 2013 at 11:00PM EST

Granted. The banana appears in your pocket and everyone thinks you’re happy to see them.

I wish my TV would work right.

Nov 23, 2013 at 11:14PM EST

Your TV works right, but it only gets C-SPAN.
I wish for the blessed +7 Grayswandir.

Nov 23, 2013 at 11:18PM EST

Granted, you get herp along with it.
I wish to become a Magical Girl.

Nov 24, 2013 at 03:03AM EST

You become the wicked witch of the east. A house crushes you.

I wish I had a minion to do my bidding. I shall name him Egor

Nov 24, 2013 at 04:27AM EST

Granted, but he soon becomes tired of all of your bossy orders, and promptly betrays you by killing you in your sleep.

I wish T-Pain never abused autotune (Eiffel 65 was okay doing it. T-Pain was another story)

Nov 24, 2013 at 12:46PM EST

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