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Corrupt a Wish

Last posted Mar 03, 2015 at 05:38PM EST. Added Nov 19, 2013 at 12:30AM EST
1910 posts from 237 users

Granted. You are promptly arrested for the possession of an illegal firearm with a proper license.

I wish for a power-pop 80’s montage for everything so I can do things with enthusiasm.

but there’s no lead for the government to find out i have an illegal weapon
also i don’t think handmade weapons from another universe fall under US firearm laws.
Granted. The enthusiasm wears off after the second time.
I wish for a legal permit to own a handmade rifle from another universe.

yelling_into_the_void wrote:

Granted, the first time you fire it you find out your gunsmithing skills are shite.

I believe I’ll have a Samuel Adams…

It’s handmade by Ruby Rose, not me.
Granted. Your liver dies.
I wish for a gunsmithing skill of 100.

why, though?
Granted. You go to sleep and never wake up.
I wish i could kill the jackass who decided it would be a good idea to send a fucking FAX THAT SETS OFF EVERY GOD DAMN SOUND IN THE HOUSE AT 9:20 IN THE FUCKING MORNING AFGNJGKSJLGHJNKSDGJA

yelling_into_the_void wrote:

Granted, he was TWO days away from retirement and six hours short of curing cancer, making real life Pokémon, and introduce you to your new, loving waifu.

I wish for Jolly Ranchers candies.

none of those matter to me
and then i read the last part
you sir, are truly one evil motherfucker.
Granted. The jolly ranchers stick to the inside of your throat, blocking food from getting through, so you have to get them surgically removed. The medical bill is also $500,000,000
I wish Don and Molly would stop shitposting.

granted. you get a voice on your head and have to go through an office building and every time you try to kill yourself to escape, you end up back in your room.
i wish for quicktime events to be removed from existance.

Granted. You now have a PissToll, a booth where you must give a urine sample to pass. Guess who’s the only employee? You!
I wish to posses and control powers of the internet.

Last edited Aug 16, 2014 at 11:21PM EDT

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