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Now that I have your attention--
Who's ready for another rousing game of murder mystery hosted by me? I am. And I have all intents of finishing it this time (last time I didn't because the murderer didn't message me).
You know the rules:
- The first ten to post in this thread will be involved in the action of the story, with the people who just missed it getting cameos, if they want.
- When I have the ten people, I will pick one of them by random number generator and PM him/her and inform him/her of his/her new title: The Murderer.
- The Murderer will PM me (preferably once a day) and I will post the story in the thread each day, with the new kill involved.
- The Murderer is not to inform anyone of his/her identity until it is revealed at the end of the story.

Any questions? No? Leggo.

Fuck it. I'm in.

Alright I'll Join in

Boom Boom Acka Lacka Lacka Boom, i'm in.

I have a lot of free time now so I'm game.

Joining before the noobs join.

But you already joined.

So what's this game's story? Are we in a strip joint? Insane patients inside Arkham Asylum? a Convention? Or some mansion in Hollywood?

I'll jump in

Laika has joined the game

THREE SPOTS LEFT GOGOGO

yes.

Fuck it, i'm in.

Hello, i'm in, what about you?

I just want to sit back and watch and join in next time.

Dammit.

I'm up for a cameo.

The list is…
Spider
Stalker
Douglas
Crow
Weasel
Bowser
Laika
Richter
Kebab
Smug
I will use a random number generator to pick the Murderer, and PM him/her momentarily.

Boo, I missed it.

also nvm it was my fault last time smh sorry

I know that feel bro.

Can I be a corpse

I want to be a murder weapon.

One bright sunny day in Memesylvania, there were ten li'l bitches hanging out on the Meme Beach. Spider, Weasel, Kebab, and Smug were playing in the water with a beach ball in very skimpy bathing suits, Stalker, as his name would suggest, was jacking his meat, Douglas, Crow, Bowser, and Laika were working on their hella tans, and Richter was playing alone sipping Arnold Palmer because he's a FUCKING LOSER with NO FRIENDS.

As you may have guessed, his drink was SUPER DUPER POISONED to the MAXIMUM.

However, Richter was downing his drink so quickly that THE POISON IN THE ICE CUBES didn't melt, and he didn't die.

HOWEVER, he DID DIE from when they finally paid attention to him.

Richter was buried in the sand. He would have drowned anyway as part of a MUTUAL HATRED of him, but there was a SMALL PLASTIC SHOVEL found near his body with BLOOD on it. The friends found him in the hole with his THROAT CUT by the SMALL PLASTIC SHOVEL. Richter was dead. Nine people remain.

((Every time I post, the Murderer can PM me with their next kill.))

Player List:
Spider
Stalker
Douglas
Crow
Weasel
Bowser
Laika
Richter
Kebab
Smug

What the fuck. Why did I expect this.

"Hmm, now who would want to kill Richter and why did he expect it?"

@OP
My name's not Bowser.

BOWSER-DUCK is a smartass, but the NARRATOR still loves him.

HOWEVER:
On the way home from the Meme Beach, the worst beach EVER, Something happened.

There was a Meme-teor shower. Meme-teorites were raining everywhere. Stalker was struck in the hand by a rock known as Shi-Gai, XTR-09 narrowly killed Kebab and Spider, but everyone was safe.

HOWEVER:
Duck was struck in the head by a STRAY METEORITE just as he was about to make it inside. He laid there, gasping for breath a figure appeared before him, picked up Shi-Gai, and STRUCK HIM IN THE HEAD, killing him and leaving eight people left alive.

((I swear to gosh this is not a grudge but in all fairness you were Bowser when we started this. I love u tho))

Player List:
Spider
Stalker
Douglas
Crow
Weasel
Bowser
Laika
Richter
Kebab
Smug

OH NO THEY GOT THE D!

At their APARTMENT, the eight friends (now that Richter is gone) have decided to make PIZZA BAGELS. Stalker, Douglas, Weasel, and Kebab are preparing the bagels while Spider, Crow, Laika, and Smug are getting orange soda.

At dinner, lamenting over their lost friend and Richter, the guys/gals notice something is off.

KEBAB has been convulsing for a while, and nobody thought anything was off. For some reason.

LAIKA, a DOCTOR, tried giving him CPR, but it didn't work, and he died. It was concluded that his PIZZA BAGEL was POISONED, causing SEIZURES that killed him.

Player List:
Spider
Stalker
Douglas
Crow
Weasel
Bowser
Laika
Richter
Kebab
Smug

>Stalker, Douglas, Weasel, and Kebab are preparing the bagels
>It was concluded that his PIZZA BAGEL was POISONED
Now I aint no detective but it sounds like that it means it's one of these four, and I aint no murderer, and Kebab's dead, so that means it's either Stalker or Weasel

He ain't no murderer.

On a dinner cruise, the FRIENDS are all sitting at a table. It's a beautiful, temperate night on the river in NORFOLK, VIRGINIA, and they are having a grand old time.

HOWEVER.

DOUGLAS, finishing his meal, decided to go off for a walk around the boat. He leaned against the railing, feeling the cool air on his neck, imagining a better life. And then, he fucking died. Cause of death unknown.

Whether this is a result of the narrator's incompetence or not is purely up to the reader's interpretation, but HOWEVER you slice it, Douglas is dead, so he AIN'T NO MURDERER.

Player List:
Spider
Stalker
Douglas
Crow
Weasel
Bowser
Laika
Richter
Kebab
Smug

vote smug for dead

Eh, at least I aint no murderer.