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Epic Troll King Rap Battle (NSFW)

Last posted Oct 30, 2011 at 05:35PM EDT. Added Oct 25, 2011 at 05:23PM EDT
72 posts from 18 users

Ever since I gave up the title of Troll King I’ve been feeling empty inside, so I asked RussianFedora to give it back. He then referred to me as a “back-stabbing piece of shit” and told me to “fuck off”. When I did not stop asking he then referred to my mother as a “bitch” and told me to “STFU”. Finally, when I asked him again, he called my family “a bunch of penis huggers” and told me to “GTFO” of KYM. So, I decided that we should settle this the proper way…a rap battle. After the rap battle I will make a poll to see who people think won. If RussianFedora wins I leave KYM forever. If I win I become the Troll King once again. Here are the rules:

-Anything is allowed. And when I say anything, I mean ANYTHING. Hence the “(NSFW)” in the title.
-All retorts must be made within 48 hours of the last or else the person who did not respond is automatically disqualified and there will be no poll.
-Everyone must play this while reading: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZsML4uWoiw

RussianFedora, do you accept this challenge?

EDIT: The battle will begin on Friday. And RussianFedora accepted, in case anyone was to lazy to read the replies.

Last edited Oct 25, 2011 at 05:28PM EDT

Troll King wrote:

^Yes you did.

Anyway, the battle will begin on Friday. Don’t be late. You can have your turn first.

^No, I never said any of that stuff.
And Friday?
Look at you, proclaimin’ “It’s my day!”
TK, you need to watch what you say
And start rappin’ now, okay?

Troll King wrote:

What do we have here?
You post a video
Cause you’re to illiterate of rap to know
That I’m the best in town
I wear the crown
And once you open your mouth to say a rhymin’ sound
You’re mine to pounce

Oh, I see how this is going down
You think you can take on me?
I’m gonna win back my fucking crown.
Bitch, I made the Troll Army.
You better hold on to your Fedora
‘Cause I’m gonna destroy ya
You think you can fuck with me, man?
Bitch, I came here from 4chan.
Word.

So you made the troll army
I remade it
I renamed it
I empowered it
I made it a towerin’ leviathan
So come to terms with your inadequacy
Discover the lies within
‘Cause you mad, you see?
I’m the only troll king here
And the only thing I hear
Are the troll’s cheers

You remade it?
You renamed it?
You empowered it?
You didn’t do shit.
You’re nothing but talk.
As a matter of fact, I bet you don’t even have a cock.
Now, I’m not gonna lie.
I mad.
But that’s only because you’re so sad.
I give you the throne
And you don’t do squat
I should have known
Now, kid, you’re about t’ be taught
By the first Troll King
There you are with your shitty lil Fedora
Can’t you see me with all my crown’s bling?

Jesus Christ, what do I do? I have an oath to serve the Troll King, but the original, or my friend the incarnate?

I’m telling you man, this shit, it just ain’t fair!
I dunno who I’m with, or should I even care?
Who is the Troll who gets to wear that crown?
Until I can know, my smiles die to frown,
‘Till I understand, there’s just one thing from my heart,
Russian, Troll King, YOU’RE TEARING ME APART!

Last edited Oct 25, 2011 at 06:07PM EDT

Cale Guy wrote:

Jesus Christ, what do I do? I have an oath to serve the Troll King, but the original, or my friend the incarnate?

I’m telling you man, this shit, it just ain’t fair!
I dunno who I’m with, or should I even care?
Who is the Troll who gets to wear that crown?
Until I can know, my smiles die to frown,
‘Till I understand, there’s just one thing from my heart,
Russian, Troll King, YOU’RE TEARING ME APART!

This is between me and Fedora. Don’t worry, I’ll make an official rapping thread after this is over.

Troll King wrote:

You remade it?
You renamed it?
You empowered it?
You didn’t do shit.
You’re nothing but talk.
As a matter of fact, I bet you don’t even have a cock.
Now, I’m not gonna lie.
I mad.
But that’s only because you’re so sad.
I give you the throne
And you don’t do squat
I should have known
Now, kid, you’re about t’ be taught
By the first Troll King
There you are with your shitty lil Fedora
Can’t you see me with all my crown’s bling?

I’ll get Soviet Socialist up in here
Tsar Bomba’s so loud, you can’t even hear
I’ll bring in the Tu-95’s
And destroy you in style
I’mma keep rhymin, ’till your face turns blue
’Cause in Soviet Russia
Rap write you

It seems you two are fighting over titles
and making stupid noise all this time while
you forgot the only status here that reigns supreme
and you can only get it if you’re on the moderator team.

Now you’re thinking, “Trick, you’re only an entry moderator
you don’t have the status of a forum annihilator”,
but if I woo my crew against the likes of you
Ergo, out the door, you ego masturbators.

And y’all spectators supposedly watching the show
upkarma downkarma: pro bono
Commentating on the raps is a no-no
It fucks with readability of our two brawlers’ flows
And whilst you think you’re roasting, you’re actually shit posting,
so let’s keep the lame posts at an all time low.

Last edited Oct 26, 2011 at 12:00PM EDT

Piano wrote:

I’ll get Soviet Socialist up in here
Tsar Bomba’s so loud, you can’t even hear
I’ll bring in the Tu-95’s
And destroy you in style
I’mma keep rhymin, ’till your face turns blue
’Cause in Soviet Russia
Rap write you

So, you’re just gonna hide behind the Soviet Union?
You guys weren’t half as cool as the Cubans
Hell, you guys don’t even exist!
At least in ‘merica we’re still in the biz
EPIC FREESTYLE RUSSIAN RAP
Use Google Translator
If when it comes to Russia
You’re a hater
Да, дурак. Я говорю на русском.
Так что если на вашем месте я бы начал промывку
Все это дерьмо других вы говорили
Прямо в туалете Монголии
Cлово

Troll King wrote:

So, you’re just gonna hide behind the Soviet Union?
You guys weren’t half as cool as the Cubans
Hell, you guys don’t even exist!
At least in ‘merica we’re still in the biz
EPIC FREESTYLE RUSSIAN RAP
Use Google Translator
If when it comes to Russia
You’re a hater
Да, дурак. Я говорю на русском.
Так что если на вашем месте я бы начал промывку
Все это дерьмо других вы говорили
Прямо в туалете Монголии
Cлово

I don’t hide behind Soviet Russia
I am Soviet Russia
I’ve got the intimidation skills of Prussia
But the Western ideals I don’t have much of
I’m bringin’ in Perestroika and Glasnost
Russia’s arrows are anointed with poison
Your weapons are so old, they’re covered in moss
I’ll rain down a fire of artillery
Destroy all your farms, factories, and mills you see
I don’t practice diplomacy
Nuclear subs will wipe you out from under the sea
Is-2s fire on queue
And your whole kingdom splits in two
Soviet Russia does not forgive
And your “Great Kingdom” Will cease to live
So you should give up now
Before I launch a nuclear missile shower

Piano wrote:

I don’t hide behind Soviet Russia
I am Soviet Russia
I’ve got the intimidation skills of Prussia
But the Western ideals I don’t have much of
I’m bringin’ in Perestroika and Glasnost
Russia’s arrows are anointed with poison
Your weapons are so old, they’re covered in moss
I’ll rain down a fire of artillery
Destroy all your farms, factories, and mills you see
I don’t practice diplomacy
Nuclear subs will wipe you out from under the sea
Is-2s fire on queue
And your whole kingdom splits in two
Soviet Russia does not forgive
And your “Great Kingdom” Will cease to live
So you should give up now
Before I launch a nuclear missile shower

Title of Troll King? Bitch please.
The future is here to bring you to your knees.
I got no Delta Brain Wave for savin universes.
While I lay the smackdown on you with my verses.
My girlfriend’s a cyclops, my best friend’s a robot.
Every single day I can sink a moon shot.
I’m a delivery boy who goes interplanetary.
You think my job is easy? You’d better be wary.
I battle monsters, what do you do, loser?
You bitches just can’t handle my life in the future.

Peace.

My dear sock puppet
your just butthurt because you couldnt make it as a muppet
now sit down in yo chair
take in some air
and have a nice cold glass
of shut the fuck up

Philip J. Fry wrote:

>Rapturjesus
>Calling other people newfags

I’m at a loss for words here.

Seemed to have found all those pretty easily.

zing

rapturjesus wrote:

Seemed to have found all those pretty easily.

zing

^This guy knows what he’s talking about

Anyway, let this be a warning to you Troll King. You’ve only got 1 day left.

Piano wrote:

I don’t hide behind Soviet Russia
I am Soviet Russia
I’ve got the intimidation skills of Prussia
But the Western ideals I don’t have much of
I’m bringin’ in Perestroika and Glasnost
Russia’s arrows are anointed with poison
Your weapons are so old, they’re covered in moss
I’ll rain down a fire of artillery
Destroy all your farms, factories, and mills you see
I don’t practice diplomacy
Nuclear subs will wipe you out from under the sea
Is-2s fire on queue
And your whole kingdom splits in two
Soviet Russia does not forgive
And your “Great Kingdom” Will cease to live
So you should give up now
Before I launch a nuclear missile shower

Enough about our countries
This is between you and me
Now listen up kid, it’s time to step down
I’ll show you how we do this in Troll Town:

All your raps are a bore
Your mother is a whore
Your brother is a loser
Your father is a boozer
Your sister looks like a housefly
And your “cat” is a spy

Word, bitch.

Im so tired of waiting.
Cant pass anymoar time simply masterbating.
I want to monitor this silly little race
Because I already am the ruler of space.
Rather get rick rolled than trolled by you guys
Ask Willy Wonka, he can see you’re new, guys
After hearing all your flow
All i can say is cool story bro.
I will beat you down, make you all kinds of sore.
Sip my coffee and walk the dinosaur.
So please my trolls make a good rap
But dont listen to rapturjesus because, its a trap.

Troll King wrote:

Enough about our countries
This is between you and me
Now listen up kid, it’s time to step down
I’ll show you how we do this in Troll Town:

All your raps are a bore
Your mother is a whore
Your brother is a loser
Your father is a boozer
Your sister looks like a housefly
And your “cat” is a spy

Word, bitch.

That’s how you do it in Troll Town?
And weak insults are supposed to intimidate me?
Man, your rap is weak.
Your skills have a leak
And your words are meek
You couldn’t scare a tick
And if you’re wondering, I don’t need swears to talk
The most polite words could put you in a headlock
In Russia we solve this simply:
A nuclear bomb and artillery assault medley
Come at me bro
‘Cause to the ground you’ll be thrown
Don’t try to act sad
’Cause everyone knows
You mad.

Earl, you think you are king
Get out of the ring.
When you gave up your crown
That grin turned to frown.

Fair is just that;
Fair in all days.
You gave up your hat
And retired your ways.

Now RF owns all
Let him do his work.
Calling him out
Makes you look like a jerk

You had your chance
And your reign was fun.
You’ve finished your dance
And this thread is done.

Piano wrote:

That’s how you do it in Troll Town?
And weak insults are supposed to intimidate me?
Man, your rap is weak.
Your skills have a leak
And your words are meek
You couldn’t scare a tick
And if you’re wondering, I don’t need swears to talk
The most polite words could put you in a headlock
In Russia we solve this simply:
A nuclear bomb and artillery assault medley
Come at me bro
‘Cause to the ground you’ll be thrown
Don’t try to act sad
’Cause everyone knows
You mad.

Again with the countries?
You’re a coward
A can’t believe we used to be buddies
And guess what else
I know your IP!
Can’t you see?
You aren’t even from Russia
You live in Florida
You haven’t ever even seen a hammer and sickle
Now, aren’t you in a fickle?

Troll King wrote:

Again with the countries?
You’re a coward
A can’t believe we used to be buddies
And guess what else
I know your IP!
Can’t you see?
You aren’t even from Russia
You live in Florida
You haven’t ever even seen a hammer and sickle
Now, aren’t you in a fickle?

RF, you live in Florida?!

Awesome! We can be roomies! I’ll get the massage lotion!

Skeletor-sm

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