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Breaking News: Kim Jong-Il is dead.

Last posted Jan 19, 2012 at 01:06PM EST. Added Dec 18, 2011 at 10:11PM EST
55 posts from 30 users

http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/north-korea-leader-kim-jong-il-died-15185456
Holy shit. 3rd dictator this year.

Dec 18, 2011 at 10:11PM EST
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What will happen to North Korea now?

Last edited Dec 18, 2011 at 10:27PM EST
Dec 18, 2011 at 10:27PM EST

I thought Kim Jong-Un was gonna take over.

Last edited Dec 18, 2011 at 10:29PM EST
Dec 18, 2011 at 10:28PM EST
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Ah, shit, I’m hearing the main theme of Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction in my head already.

I predict war on the Korean Peninsula in our near future.

Dec 18, 2011 at 10:30PM EST

It’s a shame what happened to Kim. I’m sure it will be a Jong time before he is forgotten. He will mostly be thought of Il by others.

Dec 18, 2011 at 10:31PM EST
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Those puns were hilariously horrible, Kalmo.

Dec 18, 2011 at 10:44PM EST


Who wants to watch Team America now? I do.

Last edited Dec 18, 2011 at 10:50PM EST
Dec 18, 2011 at 10:47PM EST
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/18/kim-jong-un-north-korea-successor_n_1156977.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

Dec 18, 2011 at 11:00PM EST
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I find myself remembering this thread now.

Last edited Dec 18, 2011 at 11:13PM EST
Dec 18, 2011 at 11:11PM EST

The question remains: With Kim being replaced with his mysterious son, is North Korea bound to become saner or crazier?

Dec 19, 2011 at 01:16AM EST
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Why are we scared of North Korea anyways?

They still have all the same weaponry from the 1960’s.

Last edited Dec 19, 2011 at 01:27AM EST
Dec 19, 2011 at 01:27AM EST

Blue Screen (of Death) wrote:

The question remains: With Kim being replaced with his mysterious son, is North Korea bound to become saner or crazier?

His son Kim Jong Un

Dec 19, 2011 at 01:39AM EST
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Fridge wrote:

Research Thread

Fun time over, let’s get researching.

Yep, back to the mines, slaves; those memes aren’t going to dig themselves up!

[photo:8056]

Dec 19, 2011 at 02:41AM EST
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#OccupyNorthKorea

Last edited Dec 19, 2011 at 07:49AM EST
Dec 19, 2011 at 07:48AM EST
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And nothing of value was lost…


Sweatie Killer wrote:

Why are we scared of North Korea anyways?
They still have all the same weaponry from the 1960’s.

Yeah, that’s only things like tanks, fighter jets, chemical weapons and possibly nukes. Nothing to be worried about there.

Dec 19, 2011 at 09:51AM EST
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Actually they don’t have the technology we think they they do. They have a large army and spend it on their GDP but they don’t sell many products meaning they don’t have that much money anyway. South Korea has a larger and stronger army than North Korea, in fact. The media typically raises hype with America’s enemies to either raise funds or for people to be OK with us bombing the ever-loving shit out of them if something goes wrong.

Also on the idea of weapons, Sweatie is right. Their weapons are from the 60’s so they’re out of date, and they’ve been in storage so they could possibly not even work anymore from lack of care. Also they have nukes. That doesn’t mean they know how to use them. And North Korea won’t start shit. If it even touches a pubic hair that fell off yesterday from South Korea, U.S.A, and South Korea, and probably other nations will go batshit crazy. North Korea acts like tough shit, but it’s really a wimp making idle threats that they’ll never do.

Last edited Dec 19, 2011 at 10:18AM EST
Dec 19, 2011 at 10:18AM EST
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Efrain wrote:

Meanwhile in Aperture Science

That’s what I was wondering! I thought you were all referring to a different Kim Jong-Il; that prototype was virtually indestructible!

I should know. I worked on the project a bit. I was in charge of the brain mapping. Was until um…hm. Carry on then.

Last edited Dec 19, 2011 at 10:36AM EST
Dec 19, 2011 at 10:34AM EST
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Sweatie Killer wrote:

Why are we scared of North Korea anyways?

They still have all the same weaponry from the 1960’s.

The only reason North Korea hasn’t been steamrolled is because China is guaranteeing their protection.

The Chinese don’t overly like North Korea, but they like an obedient ally over someone independent like South Korea.

Dec 19, 2011 at 10:53AM EST
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Anormulus wrote:

Goodnight, sweet prince. Tonight we shed a tear for you.

You shall refer to Dear Leader by one of his official titles:
Superior Person
Dear Leader, who is a perfect incarnation of the appearance that a leader should have
Sun of the Communist Future
Guiding Star of the 21st Century
Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love
The Great Sun of Life
World Leader of The 21st Century
Bright Sun of the 21st Century
Glorious General, Who Descended From Heaven

The list goes on

RIP* Guiding Sun Ray
*Rot in Pieces

Dec 19, 2011 at 01:52PM EST
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Kalmo wrote:

Actually they don’t have the technology we think they they do. They have a large army and spend it on their GDP but they don’t sell many products meaning they don’t have that much money anyway. South Korea has a larger and stronger army than North Korea, in fact. The media typically raises hype with America’s enemies to either raise funds or for people to be OK with us bombing the ever-loving shit out of them if something goes wrong.

Also on the idea of weapons, Sweatie is right. Their weapons are from the 60’s so they’re out of date, and they’ve been in storage so they could possibly not even work anymore from lack of care. Also they have nukes. That doesn’t mean they know how to use them. And North Korea won’t start shit. If it even touches a pubic hair that fell off yesterday from South Korea, U.S.A, and South Korea, and probably other nations will go batshit crazy. North Korea acts like tough shit, but it’s really a wimp making idle threats that they’ll never do.

Well…

North Korea does have a LARGER army, numbering well over nine million, as compared to South Korea, which has eight million plus.

North Korea has also a much higher DENSITY of troops, almost one in two serving as military personnel, as compared to only about one it ten of South Korea.

The question would be very reliant on the technology. Standard gear would be, on average, make or model of the seventies, however, North Korea COULD, hypothetically, acquire more advanced gear from under-ground networks or Anti-West groups, though the numbers would be a negligible factor, when you compare the sheer size.

North Korea does have ICBMs, but I don’t see them being a mojaor threat, due to countermeasures I’m sure the South Koreans have.

Of course we’d win, but still, it would be a real bloody one.

Dec 19, 2011 at 02:07PM EST
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Cale wrote:

Well…

North Korea does have a LARGER army, numbering well over nine million, as compared to South Korea, which has eight million plus.

North Korea has also a much higher DENSITY of troops, almost one in two serving as military personnel, as compared to only about one it ten of South Korea.

The question would be very reliant on the technology. Standard gear would be, on average, make or model of the seventies, however, North Korea COULD, hypothetically, acquire more advanced gear from under-ground networks or Anti-West groups, though the numbers would be a negligible factor, when you compare the sheer size.

North Korea does have ICBMs, but I don’t see them being a mojaor threat, due to countermeasures I’m sure the South Koreans have.

Of course we’d win, but still, it would be a real bloody one.

Any estimate of the KPA would have to be disputed, seeing as it could very well be propaganda to make North Korea look on-par militarily with other nations.

Dec 19, 2011 at 02:11PM EST
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Piano wrote:

Any estimate of the KPA would have to be disputed, seeing as it could very well be propaganda to make North Korea look on-par militarily with other nations.

Those numbers are based on an estimate, based on the facts that servers range from 17-54, the mandatory ten year service, and population, so yeah, give or take a couple hundred thousand.

Dec 19, 2011 at 02:16PM EST
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Cale wrote:

Those numbers are based on an estimate, based on the facts that servers range from 17-54, the mandatory ten year service, and population, so yeah, give or take a couple hundred thousand.

Ah, okay, that estimate should be relatively accurate then.

Dec 19, 2011 at 02:20PM EST
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What really scares me is that they would arm everyone and throw them out there. That’s nearly THIRTY MIRRION MIRITARY ASIANS.

Not to mention the huge chemical stocks, and enough ammo to wage war for four months, and enough to feed for one and half.

Dec 19, 2011 at 02:24PM EST
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Witch King wrote:

Of course we’d win, but still, it would be a real bloody one.

Iraq had the fourth largest army in the world during the 1991 Gulf War. They had at that time equipment roughly the same as type of equipment the North Koreans have now (in fact, the Iraqi equipment was actually a little better in 1991 than the North Koreans have in 2011)

It would be a massacre. Allied forces would fuck up North Korea pretty badly for very little losses in return.

Last edited Dec 19, 2011 at 02:29PM EST
Dec 19, 2011 at 02:29PM EST
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ChipBeat wrote:

You shall refer to Dear Leader by one of his official titles:
Superior Person
Dear Leader, who is a perfect incarnation of the appearance that a leader should have
Sun of the Communist Future
Guiding Star of the 21st Century
Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love
The Great Sun of Life
World Leader of The 21st Century
Bright Sun of the 21st Century
Glorious General, Who Descended From Heaven

The list goes on

RIP* Guiding Sun Ray
*Rot in Pieces

You forgot some:

Sexiest Man Alive 1991-2011
Best Man at Tom Brady’s Wedding
Supreme Over-beast of the Korean Horde (dude loves Wow)
Grandmaster of Flash and the Furious Five
Party Monster Mega Bro
Grand Master of the Jedi Knights
Supreme Commander of Sexiness
Knight of Time Who Shalt Drop It Like It’s Hot Whilst the Pimp’s in the Crib
DLILF (Dear Leader I’d Like to Fuck)
Mega Ultra Sexy God
A Choice Bro
Hella Jeff
Jesus Dick
Princess Celestia
Heaven Fucker
One Who Makes Love To Dumbledore
NBA Most Valuable Player 1997-2011 (Dude Still Can’t Top Jordan)
Communist Party Monster
Bromander of the Broletariat
Sunshine Master Grooviness
Best Guy in Best Korea
One Whom Not Even MC Hammer Can Touch
The Short Fat Dude With the Glasses Who Likes to Look at Things
And finally,
God, motherfucker.

That was so much fun to type up.

Dec 19, 2011 at 02:41PM EST
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I remember hearing once that if they dropped a nuke in NYC it’s only be able to harm an area the size of central park.
“Korea does look a bit like Asia’s wang. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, after all, the wang gets all the action.”

Last edited Dec 19, 2011 at 03:00PM EST
Dec 19, 2011 at 02:45PM EST
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burning_phoneix wrote:

Witch King wrote:

Of course we’d win, but still, it would be a real bloody one.

Iraq had the fourth largest army in the world during the 1991 Gulf War. They had at that time equipment roughly the same as type of equipment the North Koreans have now (in fact, the Iraqi equipment was actually a little better in 1991 than the North Koreans have in 2011)

It would be a massacre. Allied forces would fuck up North Korea pretty badly for very little losses in return.

I never said who’s blood.

Dec 19, 2011 at 02:48PM EST
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Dinner wrote:

I remember hearing once that if they dropped a nuke in NYC it’s only be able to harm an area the size of central park.
“Korea does look a bit like Asia’s wang. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, after all, the wang gets all the action.”

Source: Onion News Network
Dec 19, 2011 at 02:50PM EST
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Dinner wrote:

I remember hearing once that if they dropped a nuke in NYC it’s only be able to harm an area the size of central park.
“Korea does look a bit like Asia’s wang. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, after all, the wang gets all the action.”

According to http://www.wouldisurviveanuke.com/ , the range would go all the way out to White Plains, some parts of Long Island, and my hoods in Jersey. :c

Dec 19, 2011 at 03:01PM EST
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Sandwichman wrote:


well shit

When Kim il sung died there were patrols set up to see if people were crying hard enough

Dec 19, 2011 at 04:01PM EST
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Why don’t they take Drones, and use them to attack the Nukes?

Dec 19, 2011 at 05:17PM EST

Cale wrote:

I never said who’s blood.

Well, you were responding to Kalmo’s post about the North having all these troops so you it really looked like you were trying to paint it as a second Korean war when the KPA was actually a formidable fighting force.

Dec 19, 2011 at 06:04PM EST
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butterin yobread wrote:

When Kim il sung died there were patrols set up to see if people were crying hard enough

this crying seems legit

Dec 19, 2011 at 06:21PM EST
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gunner middleton wrote:

this crying seems legit

They are. North Koreans aren’t aware how the world views them, or how Kim Jong-il is one of the most feared dictators in the world. Some people even believe that North Korea is the best place in the world, and it is all because of the “great supreme leader”. They are genuinely sad. Since there are only one news station in N.K., has no internet, and rarely allows foreigners into their country, they have absolutely no clue about the world outside of them other than China and some news on South Korea. Kim Jong-il has been their only leader, and now they think that North Korea will be real bad because he died.


tl;dr: They really believe that

Dec 19, 2011 at 07:05PM EST
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Skeletor-sm

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