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From Cute to Beautiful: Love is Weird

Last posted Mar 01, 2012 at 06:20PM EST. Added Feb 28, 2012 at 03:26PM EST
19 posts from 12 users

So I made a post in the Pony thread about how cosplay somehow turns an average-looking girl into a hot one. Often times, the costume is simple and may not even involve makeup. It usually just involves showing a little bit more skin.

So I figure there may be may be a few reasons:

  • Cosplayers are usually geeky or are among geeky guys.
    • Perhaps it is simply that most geeky people don't expect themselves to look all that great (e.g., This thread and some of the comments, including my own.) Any time a person puts on make-up and a nice dress, they're more likely to be more attractive…but from average-looking to hot?
  • Like I mentioned before, maybe it's just showing skin.
    • Sometimes it may just be as simple as the attachment of nudity to sexuality in modern-day Western culture. If a girl shows more skin, then she may be associated with a greater level of sexiness.

I forgot another couple of reasons, but that's why I started the thread. I wanted to know what you guys thought. Why does that happen? Or does it even happen at all?


The second part (i.e., Love is Weird) is something I've seen from myself and in others.

A person I know began to like a girl, and I thought that she might go for him. I had anticipated that they would eventually fall in love, but I wanted to know a baseline, subjective assessment from him about her looks before they began to date and another assessment after when he fell in love.

Of course, before they began to date, he said that he thought she was cute, but in the course of a few months, she became beautiful to him.
 
…He didn't like it when I pointed that out…
 
Is it love or social desirability? Something else? What do you think?

Last edited Feb 28, 2012 at 03:27PM EST

Verbose wrote:

So I made a post in the Pony thread about how cosplay somehow turns an average-looking girl into a hot one. Often times, the costume is simple and may not even involve makeup. It usually just involves showing a little bit more skin.

So I figure there may be may be a few reasons:

  • Cosplayers are usually geeky or are among geeky guys.
    • Perhaps it is simply that most geeky people don't expect themselves to look all that great (e.g., This thread and some of the comments, including my own.) Any time a person puts on make-up and a nice dress, they're more likely to be more attractive…but from average-looking to hot?
  • Like I mentioned before, maybe it's just showing skin.
    • Sometimes it may just be as simple as the attachment of nudity to sexuality in modern-day Western culture. If a girl shows more skin, then she may be associated with a greater level of sexiness.

I forgot another couple of reasons, but that's why I started the thread. I wanted to know what you guys thought. Why does that happen? Or does it even happen at all?


The second part (i.e., Love is Weird) is something I've seen from myself and in others.

A person I know began to like a girl, and I thought that she might go for him. I had anticipated that they would eventually fall in love, but I wanted to know a baseline, subjective assessment from him about her looks before they began to date and another assessment after when he fell in love.

Of course, before they began to date, he said that he thought she was cute, but in the course of a few months, she became beautiful to him.
 
…He didn't like it when I pointed that out…
 
Is it love or social desirability? Something else? What do you think?

I think it has something to do with this urge to have sex and replicate oneself, but tis forever a mystery.

404 wrote:
(by which i mean its just you projecting your feels towards a specific character onto said cosplayer)


I'd never thought I'd see the day when 404 had the most insight on an actual topic…

Anyway, you're right. That was one of the points I had forgotten. If you're really into Zelda and a human with breasts comes in dressed as Zelda, then your perception of her becomes tied with how you perceive the cosplayer.

So maybe the comments I'm seeing is just some selection bias. A person who cares nothing for Princess Zelda wouldn't think as highly of the cosplay.


sweatie wrote:

I think it has something to do with this urge to have sex and replicate oneself, but tis forever a mystery.

Yes. Thank you. Not that it had much to do with the actual topic, but such is the created culture of the forums. Reinforced with krama, even.
 
 
My complaints aside, no one addressed the second part. My whole point is seeing what people thought about changing perspectives of beauty when nothing actually changes. I think 404 offered the best response to the cosplay part, but can anyone describe why it occurs in romantic relationships?

inb4 not being able to explain love, because you can.

I could sum up some thoughts on this. I'm not some Sigmund Freud or Desmond Morris, but I at least think this could lighten some things up.

Part I:
Cosplaying is assuming the role of some other character. The other character would most likely be in some anime or book or whatever in which said character has a life that, when compared to the cosplayer, is of greater importance or has more complex or understandable life than the cosplayer. Other (geeks?) will recognize the cosplayer as being said character, and immediately associate whatever characteristics the character has to the cosplayer. In the case of someone cosplaying as Ash Ketchum, others will see the cosplayer as being a prominent Pokémon trainer, having high moral standards, being a general cool guy, etc. A girl cosplaying a hot anime chick will expect reactions from guys typically associated with seeing…a hot anime chick. A person cosplaying the heroic dude with the 10-foot sword will get reactions that can vary from being determined, courageous, a womanizer, a BAMF, etc.
The more or less sexual aspect on the whole skin/make-up topic can simply be seen as someone who is, yes, trying to look more sexually appealing. Showing more skin could be implying that you aren't afraid to show off your body, that you are an easy-go person, that the only skin you AREN'T showing is under that bra which I would really want to take off right now and it makes you that much hotter. Wearing make-up hides imperfections on the skin; humans strive to look perfect; looking perfect implies you are a sexually apt mate; looking sexually apt causes people to want to have sex with you.
Even if the cosplayer wants NOTHING to do with being sexually attractive, the cosplayer can still be seen as being sexually attractive (from the reasons given) because sex is the underlying foundation for pretty much any animalistic emotion, no matter how ridiculous the connections can get. By expressing qualities shown of someone with determination and courage, while not being directly "sexually appealing", it still implies that they are a sexually apt partner, which can be associated to being "sexually appealing".

Part II (this is shorter):
If all your friend saw in that girl was her initial good looks and decided to go out with her because of it (like a lot of people do), then it would be understandable that he would call her "cute". But as the course of his relationship goes on, he finds out that there is much more to her than just her good looks. They both find out that they have very similar interests, on very deep understandings. It isn't just a funny sense of humor anymore, it becomes a relationship on a more…personal level, like they would both be almost dating themselves. I don't know if he's still only dating her for her good looks, but if it's on a level that I'm explaining about then "cute" would only assume physical appearence, "beauty" would imply her giving him much more profound connections, on the emotional scale, mental scale, and also because she is cute.

Uhh…I hope I answered some questions.

…Y-yes. Yes, you did. Rather well.

Really well, actually. I'm a bit at a loss, to be honest. You didn't even have to edit any of that…
 
The first point was answered basically in full for my interests, by 404 succinctly and by you in more detail. I'd see if someone else had a take on it, but I don't think the interest is there for most users.
 
 
As for the second part, I was considering beauty as being on the same scale of superficial beauty. So if it can be scaled (and it often is,) then if I had asked him before dating, he'd probably say a 7 or an 8. But now he would say a 10.

He's knew what point that I was trying to get at: she's not actually any more attractive now than she was few months ago, but he says that she is. I feel that happens to many other guys as well.

There are some deeper matters that I see, simply because I have a bit of a feminist bent and I dig sociology. There doesn't seem to be much to gain by complimenting a man in a relationship on his superior winsomeness (actually a word.) But it seems to be that looks are much more important to a woman than it is for a man in the US currently. I think that part of that occurs due to the fact that the obligation (either by expectations of society or by compassionate love) makes one feel the need to acknowledge the most desirable attributes in that person.

I think you're right in that some people may begin to combine those feelings of love on levels other than the physical so that a person comes to love a person so much that any compliment of high praise would seem to to suit the female significant other.

It may also be that "beauty" has actually been given the connotation of being more than "skin deep" so that beauty cannot be ascertained until the male in the relationship falls in love (the only prerequisite to love in this scenario.)
 
 
But it strikes me as odd. I've believe that I've been in love before, and I've found those women to be beautiful. Even now, I don't know if I simply didn't let myself acknowledge their beauty, because it's something you don't say to someone you're not romantically interested in with our current norms. Or it may be that I still love them, so my assessment of their beauty is still mingled with my love for their personalities and mien.

At this point, it's kinda just thoughts. You and 404 have given me great responses.

The first point was answered basically in full for my interests, by 404 succinctly and by you in more detail. I’d see if someone else had a take on it, but I don’t think the interest is there for most users

I was about to add my $0.02 but I saw 404 had already paid it. He's right on the money (lolpun)

It's all in the costume bearing resemblance to a more common interest. Very simple and accurate answer. After I read Ice's post I didn't think I had anything more to add to what had been said so I left it at that.

But this, however, has to be said:

None of this changes the fact you find her attractive because she wants to be a horse

ROFLMAO!

I wrote a big response to this early this morning, and my computer ate it. Let's see…

I don't know what it may be about the first point, but it occurs to me that there may be a relationship between what you're describing and the fact that people seem to find celebrities more attractive all other things being equal. I know for myself, I tend to find someone slightly more alluring if I see a similarity between them and a celebrity.

And of course, people who cosplay will more often than not end up wearing outfits that are fairly unusual and often sensually revealing. You see a lot of this sort of thing:

Even if you don't know who these characters are (I don't know the second one, for instance) they look pretty hot. So, yeah, the whole put on some makeup and clothing that shows more skin is certainly an aspect.

As for the second point, I think that there are a number of factors that contribute to this effect. I've been married for about 15 years, and I think my wife is more beautiful than ever. This is a matter of both simple physical familiarity as well as being in a unique position to see her inner beauty, which always is enhancing to someone's attractiveness. The thing that I find more interesting and somewhat less obvious is that I've noticed that I will find people attractive if they remind me of my wife. While I certainly possessed an attraction to zaftig redheads before I met her, the longer I've been with her, the more I tend to unconsciously see it as a standard of beauty.

Why is Mr. Brucker the only guy who has posted cosplay pics ?

Adding some opinion on the subject, by adding cosplay, a girl might also show how much interest she has in a certain topic that also interests their companions. Also, she can show how much care or detail she adds to a certain project and that also speaks about her personality. Do a great job and chances are she is not a superficial/casual girl.

Nice looks can make a girl cute. But add a good touch of personality, shared interests, or compatible characters might make the relation beautiful.

Last edited Feb 29, 2012 at 10:47PM EST

@Hiroman:
Yes, I think there may be an appreciation for a girl's hard work in making a good outfit, but I think it only goes so far. This is an image I've seen all over the place that displays my point:

As far as I can see, both of these girls put about the same amount of work into their costumes, but I'm willing to guess that somewhere north of 90% of guys would find the girl on the right more attractive. (And let me clarify as someone who openly admits to liking bigger women, I don't think the girl on the right is intrinsically more attractive, but this outfit certainly does not compliment the girl on the left's figure.)

Now, this isn't cosplay any more, but since I was going there:

I would say in this case that the girl on the left is more attractive, but as it happens, she's a professional plus-size model, and clearly knows how to wear clothes in a way that works for her body shape. The drawback to this is that so much cosplay is anime-based, and the girls in anime do tend to be very thin, giving larger girls somewhat less leeway in their cosplay options. Not that there are no options for curvier women:

It's just like Halloween. You can meet the hottest chick in the slutty maid costume, then see her the next day and she's nothing like the fantasy girl you thought she was. Most girls in those cosplay pics are professional models. They get to go to all the events for free and some (if not most) are paid to go. Face it sex sells. Now granted, there are the exceptions that there are a lot of girls getting into what was once a male dominated scene and even most of the professional models are very into it as well but there is a big difference between "professional" and "home made".
If you flip it around and look at all the guys that cosplay they are either very dorky or very effeminate but even with guys there is a difference between "professionally" done costumes and "home made" costumes. It's just that girls can pull it off most of the time and make it look good where guys can't.
Professional model vs. average girl

With the right outfit and look most girls can pull it off but not all girls have the right look

Here both girls have great outfits just one fills it in better

See even Kalmo looks like dork next to a professional model

Last edited Mar 01, 2012 at 04:49AM EST
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