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Please Read- A Personal Appeal

Last posted Apr 16, 2012 at 05:21AM EDT. Added Apr 13, 2012 at 04:10PM EDT
69 posts from 34 users

My mother is typing this for me, because I can’t. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I’m so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn’t hurt, except when I try to breathe.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. It’s a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance.

I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn’t work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, “Don’t cry, Mommy.” and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, Even though she’s allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me by spreading my story. Dr. Johansen said that every time someone shares my story, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better.

Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

I try to be happy, but it’s hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn’t chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Thank You,
Billy “Smiles” Evans

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:10PM EDT
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Damn. I was born without a body too.

Look at me nao!

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:16PM EDT
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Senpai-kun wrote:

My mother is typing this for me, because I can’t. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I’m so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn’t hurt, except when I try to breathe.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. It’s a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance.

I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn’t work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, “Don’t cry, Mommy.” and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, Even though she’s allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me by spreading my story. Dr. Johansen said that every time someone shares my story, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better.

Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

I try to be happy, but it’s hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn’t chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Thank You,
Billy “Smiles” Evans

REGLAOGB IF U CREY ALWAZ..XXX

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:17PM EDT
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Tahrdan Ismeh Wu-Temporis wrote:

Obvious spambot is obvious. Downvote and move on.

Have you tried reading or thinking before posting? You may find the experience enjoyable.

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:22PM EDT
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Hey man, I was born without a body also. Life can be tough, but you should just do as I do.
Take it Easy!

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:23PM EDT
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Even if it’s not a spambot, it is spam. It’s one of those chain messages, that ask the eaders to post the same message elsewhere. That’s what makes it spam.

Also when did the yukkuri show up!?

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:27PM EDT
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I was born without a mind. But now I’m the most sane person on this website.

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:28PM EDT
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Tahrdan Ismeh Wu-Temporis wrote:

Even if it’s not a spambot, it is spam. It’s one of those chain messages, that ask the eaders to post the same message elsewhere. That’s what makes it spam.

Also when did the yukkuri show up!?


Have some sympathy, the poor kid doesn’t have a body.

He only has a mind.

You two should merge to become a fully functional individual.

Last edited Apr 13, 2012 at 04:32PM EDT
Apr 13, 2012 at 04:31PM EDT
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…Are you actually taking this chain message seriously? Even when it goes right into things that are physically impossible? Looks like you’re the one who needs a mind. By which I mean think about it logically – it’s clearly impossible, so it can’t be true. It’s a chain message so it must be spam.

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:33PM EDT
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Tahrdan Ismeh Wu-Temporis wrote:

…Are you actually taking this chain message seriously? Even when it goes right into things that are physically impossible? Looks like you’re the one who needs a mind. By which I mean think about it logically – it’s clearly impossible, so it can’t be true. It’s a chain message so it must be spam.

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:38PM EDT
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You all are a bunch of idiots taken in by a sob story no matter how impossible. This is the observation I have gathered from your reactions.

And if you downvote this post, that’ll just prove me right even more.

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:40PM EDT
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Tahrdan Ismeh Wu-Temporis wrote:

You all are a bunch of idiots taken in by a sob story no matter how impossible. This is the observation I have gathered from your reactions.

And if you downvote this post, that’ll just prove me right even more.

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:46PM EDT
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Well, not me. Read the first post carefully and you’ll see I’m right. Specifically, it’s askign to spread the story elsewhere.

That’s how I know it’s a chain message.

And, oh look, my previous psot got downvoted. Thanks for proving me right, everyone.

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:47PM EDT
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OP has it pretty bad, and I support his brave fight, but there’s another person who I’d like to acknowledge.

This man was born with glass bones and paper skin.
Every morning he breaks his legs, and every afternoon he breaks his arms.
At night, he lies awake in agony until his heart attacks put him to sleep.
The only way he can pay his exorbitant medical bills is by selling chocolate bars.
Like this if you support his brave fight for life!!! <3

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:51PM EDT
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Arctic Dagger wrote:

You’re all a bunch of freaks.

Someone else who sees reason. How can they take a clearly impossible sob story – that is also a chain message and therefore spam – seriously? How is their reaction to this clearly impossible thing bieng serious in any way possible?

There is no facepalm great enough to use as a reaction.

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:54PM EDT
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Tahrdan Ismeh Wu-Temporis wrote:

Well, not me. Read the first post carefully and you’ll see I’m right. Specifically, it’s askign to spread the story elsewhere.

That’s how I know it’s a chain message.

And, oh look, my previous psot got downvoted. Thanks for proving me right, everyone.

Apr 13, 2012 at 04:57PM EDT
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Seriously, almost evryone in this thread (me and arctic dagger being the exceptions) defies all logic. It is clearly physically impossible. And also, it’s asking to spread the story elsewhere. That should isntantly tip anyone off to it being a chain message. Chains messages are basically automatically spam since it’s encouraging copy and pasting of something irrelevant. How do you not see it as a chain message, or physically impossible and therefore not to be believed? No, seriously ,HOW DO YOU MISS THINGS THAT OBVIOUS!?

Apr 13, 2012 at 05:00PM EDT
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Tahrdan Ismeh Wu-Temporis wrote:

Seriously, almost evryone in this thread (me and arctic dagger being the exceptions) defies all logic. It is clearly physically impossible. And also, it’s asking to spread the story elsewhere. That should isntantly tip anyone off to it being a chain message. Chains messages are basically automatically spam since it’s encouraging copy and pasting of something irrelevant. How do you not see it as a chain message, or physically impossible and therefore not to be believed? No, seriously ,HOW DO YOU MISS THINGS THAT OBVIOUS!?

Apr 13, 2012 at 05:27PM EDT
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Tahrdan Ismeh Wu-Temporis wrote:

Someone else who sees reason. How can they take a clearly impossible sob story – that is also a chain message and therefore spam – seriously? How is their reaction to this clearly impossible thing bieng serious in any way possible?

There is no facepalm great enough to use as a reaction.

Actually, I was calling them freaks because they we’re born without certain body parts. This was a joke. The first post was a joke too.

Apr 13, 2012 at 05:31PM EDT
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Arctic Dagger wrote:

Actually, I was calling them freaks because they we’re born without certain body parts. This was a joke. The first post was a joke too.

yeah, they lack the logic centre of their brains (what? all of you guys took this seriously. This response is your own fault for taking it seriously.)

Apr 13, 2012 at 05:33PM EDT
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@TARDISES

You think we don’t know that it’s impossible. that’s why it’s funny. It was written in parody of actual chain messages.

But you’re probably just a troll. So whatever.

Apr 13, 2012 at 05:42PM EDT
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Not trolling. And, parody or not, I still see it as a chain message, which would therefore make it spam.

Apr 13, 2012 at 05:44PM EDT
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…………..
Idk what to say…

Apr 13, 2012 at 05:45PM EDT

A friend of mine lost his body as well. Look at him now:

Now he spends all his days planted into some stupid purple bear. Last I heard he was trying to take over the world. I haven’t from him for years though. Something must have happened to him.

Apr 13, 2012 at 05:54PM EDT
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Tahrdan Ismeh Wu-Temporis wrote:

Not trolling. And, parody or not, I still see it as a chain message, which would therefore make it spam.


I’d try to follow your train of thought, but I would be a danger to those around me.

Apr 13, 2012 at 07:29PM EDT
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Guys, think about the logic in this.

How could he survive without a body? He couldn’t eat food, or drink water. Plus, he wouldn’t have a heart, so no blood would be pumping to his body.

It’s obviously a fake.

Last edited Apr 13, 2012 at 07:38PM EDT
Apr 13, 2012 at 07:38PM EDT

Senpai-kun wrote:

How would you feel if someone called you fake, Nikolaki8?

I am fake.

I’m made of metal. That’s not the point.

How are you alive? Where is your heart? Where does your food go? How do you drop fecal matter?

It’s scientifically impossible. Main reason; I would have believed this, but a burlap sack can’t pump blood.

Apr 13, 2012 at 08:22PM EDT

Senpai-kun wrote:

How would you feel if someone called you fake, Nikolaki8?

Wait how are you posting a image?
you have to hold Shift + 1 to get ! and use ![Img]! to get a image
You say you are typing with your nose on your profile
I doubt you mother knows that many memes too
unless you have two noses…

Apr 13, 2012 at 08:33PM EDT

I have never laughed so hard at a KYM post before in my life. The post to start out with was funny, but Tardis’ reaction made me piss myself.

Apr 13, 2012 at 08:51PM EDT
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DON’T WORRY OP!
FEAR NOT!
I WILL SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS!
WITH SCIENCE!!!

JUST LOOK AT THIS SATISFIED CUSTOMER!

“I will destroy you, Zim for tampering with the past!”
Nothing says thank you as taking it for a spin at your friends house!!

Last edited Apr 13, 2012 at 08:57PM EDT
Apr 13, 2012 at 08:55PM EDT
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Troll King wrote:

I have never laughed so hard at a KYM post before in my life. The post to start out with was funny, but Tardis’ reaction made me piss myself.

I know that feel bro.
I know that feel.

Apr 13, 2012 at 09:23PM EDT
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MDFification wrote:

I know that feel bro.
I know that feel.

Apr 13, 2012 at 09:29PM EDT
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This is so sad. I cant imagine what its like tp not be able to feed yourself, or to walk, or to even not bend your joints. You have my deepest sympathy, my good man. Godspeed in your future…..

Apr 13, 2012 at 09:39PM EDT
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… I’m not sure what to make of this thread. This thread is just beautiful….

I would feature this beautiful thread if I could.

Apr 13, 2012 at 09:48PM EDT
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Hi Billy Evans

I’ve donated $1,000 directly from my life saving to help your cause. You are a brave soul, godspeed


@TARDISES

Apr 13, 2012 at 09:52PM EDT
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*sniff*

f*ck you TARDISES

Apr 13, 2012 at 10:01PM EDT

HolyCrapItsBob wrote:

… I’m not sure what to make of this thread. This thread is just beautiful….

I would feature this beautiful thread if I could.


Sorry to hear that, OP.

Tardises, you have to be trusting sometimes.

Apr 13, 2012 at 10:51PM EDT

@TARDISES

Don’t tease little Billy. He’s a fucking demon when he stepped on the third base.

Apr 14, 2012 at 10:18AM EDT
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