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The Zombie Outbreak has Begun!

Last posted Jun 04, 2012 at 06:40PM EDT. Added May 27, 2012 at 06:29PM EDT
100 posts from 29 users

There are reports of a naked man being shot after eating another man’s face in California. The police are blaming it on “cocaine psychosis” – but we know better. Gentlemen, we have been preparing for this for years. It’s time to put those bunkers and food caches to good use. I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again, but good luck.

May 27, 2012 at 06:29PM EDT
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The article says the situation was actually in Miami, so I’m going to say that it actually was cocaine psychosis. There are a lot of drugs down here, after all.

Actually I’m terrified by this because it’s really close to where I live. Holy shit please let this be not real.
Last edited May 27, 2012 at 06:51PM EDT
May 27, 2012 at 06:49PM EDT
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Zombies, eh?

May 27, 2012 at 06:50PM EDT

Platus, have you been going on /x/? I saw a thread there last night about this. And yeah, it’s probably drug-related.

May 27, 2012 at 07:03PM EDT
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Bahaha, I’m in California.

I’ll be fine for a while.

Unless it already spread.

ohgodohgodohgod.

May 27, 2012 at 07:11PM EDT
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This is why I live on east coast.
East Side, motherfuckers.
And off to Canada as I go as the U.S. will fall from the zombie apocalypse, and the north pole is the best place to be in a zombie apocalypse. It’s so cold the zombies will barely move…can’t even get through snow, even the virus will spread much more slower in the cold temperatures.

Last edited May 27, 2012 at 07:35PM EDT
May 27, 2012 at 07:34PM EDT
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Is it bad that a small part of me, deep in the wastelands of my mind, hopes that this is actually a zombie outbreak?

May 27, 2012 at 07:35PM EDT
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madcat wrote:

Platus, have you been going on /x/? I saw a thread there last night about this. And yeah, it’s probably drug-related.

I have not been to /x/ – the idea just seems kind of obvious.

What really creeps me out is that the guy didn’t go down when they shot him first. They had to do it a bunch of times, and he just kept eating until he was finished off. I wonder if the last one was a headshot?

Is it bad that a small part of me, deep in the wastelands of my mind, hopes that this is actually a zombie outbreak?

No, sting_auer, it just means that you are normal.

May 27, 2012 at 08:46PM EDT
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Platus wrote:

I have not been to /x/ – the idea just seems kind of obvious.

What really creeps me out is that the guy didn’t go down when they shot him first. They had to do it a bunch of times, and he just kept eating until he was finished off. I wonder if the last one was a headshot?

Is it bad that a small part of me, deep in the wastelands of my mind, hopes that this is actually a zombie outbreak?

No, sting_auer, it just means that you are normal.

Well, the multiple shots required could be explained by the cocaine.

The thing is, guns really don’t have a lot of power to incapacitate people unless the round is really large or it hits something especially important, like the heart, brain, or a joint.

A crossbow has more stopping power than a handgun. The reason that guns usually bring people down is because of the pain, not because of actual incapacitation.

May 27, 2012 at 09:20PM EDT
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ConnerABacon wrote:

Well, the multiple shots required could be explained by the cocaine.

The thing is, guns really don’t have a lot of power to incapacitate people unless the round is really large or it hits something especially important, like the heart, brain, or a joint.

A crossbow has more stopping power than a handgun. The reason that guns usually bring people down is because of the pain, not because of actual incapacitation.

Oh yes, I’m aware of that. But this thread will be a lot more fun if we all act as if this were a zombie outbreak being covered up by the government.

May 27, 2012 at 09:24PM EDT
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Platus wrote:

I have not been to /x/ – the idea just seems kind of obvious.

What really creeps me out is that the guy didn’t go down when they shot him first. They had to do it a bunch of times, and he just kept eating until he was finished off. I wonder if the last one was a headshot?

Is it bad that a small part of me, deep in the wastelands of my mind, hopes that this is actually a zombie outbreak?

No, sting_auer, it just means that you are normal.

Getting shot in the chest usually isn’t enough to kill someone. When adrenaline kicks in, blood and oxygen are already flowing through your body at a faster rate. At that point, you’d have to lose enough blood to be knocked unconscious, because the person isn’t going to feel enough pain to lose consciousness. Losing enough blood to become unconscious takes time. That’s why headshots are usually the way to go when a police officer has to kill someone.

EDIT: Ninja’d by Sting.

Last edited May 27, 2012 at 09:28PM EDT
May 27, 2012 at 09:26PM EDT
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madcat wrote:

Getting shot in the chest usually isn’t enough to kill someone. When adrenaline kicks in, blood and oxygen are already flowing through your body at a faster rate. At that point, you’d have to lose enough blood to be knocked unconscious, because the person isn’t going to feel enough pain to lose consciousness. Losing enough blood to become unconscious takes time. That’s why headshots are usually the way to go when a police officer has to kill someone.

EDIT: Ninja’d by Sting.

NONE OF YOU GUYS KNOW HOW TO HAVE PARANOID FUN!

I’m going to go talk to the NRA. THEY at least know how this works.

May 27, 2012 at 09:30PM EDT
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I wouldn’t jump to saying it’s zombies so fast. I’m not a zombie, but I still find faces rather tasty.

May 28, 2012 at 02:14AM EDT

How does cocaine make you want to viciously eat someones face?

May 28, 2012 at 03:22AM EDT
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Omomon wrote:

How does cocaine make you want to viciously eat someones face?

Too much of it can cause insanity

May 28, 2012 at 02:28PM EDT
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Zombies are real and they’re in Haiti.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombie#Haiti

May 28, 2012 at 03:59PM EDT
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Katie C. wrote:

Zombies are real and they’re in Haiti.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombie#Haiti

We’re talking about a pathogen-based zombie plague that increases aggression and is contagious.

Not a drug induced near-catatonic state that causes the victim to be very vulnerable to suggestion and doing whatever they are told.

May 28, 2012 at 04:04PM EDT
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In this case, I’m glad I live in the south. Everyone’s armed. As for faces, raw face is just gross.

May 28, 2012 at 04:31PM EDT
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Jak wrote:

In this case, I’m glad I live in the south. Everyone’s armed. As for faces, raw face is just gross.

Llamas with hats reference detected.

Also it is possible to at least have a rage virus to infect people and to infect people to get them so angry to hurt other people and which infect those people in the process as well, but the virus must be a mutation of rabies. Rabies is the closes we got to a rage virus, if they are genetically experimenting with rabies secretly…lets hope it does not get out like in the movies…

May 28, 2012 at 04:37PM EDT
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I post stuff wrote:

I live in UK. We’re going to have fast zombies here. Damn.

If we’re lucky, the majority of zombies in the US will be fat and slow. You know, cardio.

May 28, 2012 at 05:23PM EDT
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Ric Tesla wrote:

Llamas with hats reference detected.

Also it is possible to at least have a rage virus to infect people and to infect people to get them so angry to hurt other people and which infect those people in the process as well, but the virus must be a mutation of rabies. Rabies is the closes we got to a rage virus, if they are genetically experimenting with rabies secretly…lets hope it does not get out like in the movies…

Rabies – or any virus, for that matter – isn’t a good candidate for a weapon, due to the fact that viruses mutate rather quickly compared to, say, a bacteria or other pathogen.

In theory, you could create a bacteria that produces a chemical similar to the rabies virus (essentially a dead rabies virus), which would mutate slowly but still be infectious. Just don’t let it be air-transmittable and you’re fine.

Perfect biological weapon right there. Terrifying, powerful, highly infectious, but easy to contain to a certain area.

May 28, 2012 at 05:29PM EDT
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Welp, good thing I came up with a plan.

If stuff really hits the fan, I’m evacuating Stockton and heading back up to Orland. We’re hunkering down in the High School and turning the fields into farms, topping the fences with barbed wire, since there’s so much of it. Using plywood shields and spears made from wood and scrap metal.

bring it on, zombies.

(Assuming these are actually zombies >_>)

Last edited May 29, 2012 at 09:35PM EDT
May 29, 2012 at 09:18PM EDT
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Ric Tesla wrote:


Damn…that guy has been on some hardshit…and his mental state must be as stable as a Francium…

“As stable as Francium”

That was amazing. Can I hug you?

May 29, 2012 at 10:40PM EDT
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Ric Tesla wrote:

This is why I live on east coast.
East Side, motherfuckers.
And off to Canada as I go as the U.S. will fall from the zombie apocalypse, and the north pole is the best place to be in a zombie apocalypse. It’s so cold the zombies will barely move…can’t even get through snow, even the virus will spread much more slower in the cold temperatures.

Goddamn it, stay out of Canada.
The US can’t make an organized defense if their citizens keep breaching the perimeter.
Refugees will flood my country and destroy any hope of anyone surviving.

May 29, 2012 at 10:42PM EDT
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I have my music set to loop this during the zombie Apocalypse.



May 30, 2012 at 09:08AM EDT
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why are so many gory crimes been happening lately?

May 31, 2012 at 02:06AM EDT
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OKay, everyone stay calm, don’t jump to any conclusions >_>

If stuff gets bad, then the government won’t be able to hide it, nor are they likely to try to hide it. In the worst case, we’ll hear about it through the news and have plenty of time to be ready for it.

Last edited Jun 01, 2012 at 03:58PM EDT
Jun 01, 2012 at 03:55PM EDT
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Inconceivable



Jun 01, 2012 at 06:33PM EDT

Well that’s an interesting thing. I really hope that they aren’t done with it, because it could really use some work >_>

Jun 01, 2012 at 09:22PM EDT
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I might have been miss spoken on the whole “only the rage virus got a chance of existing” thing.




Turns out there is a fungus that can get into the ant’s brain and have it venture to the perfect conditioned areas for fungi to grow.
Now imagine the fungi able to do this with humans.
It may not be a virus that will make zombies. But a fungi, which it can control the brain. But who knows, our brains/body defense systems are way to much for this fungi.
Until the government experiments with it.

Last edited Jun 01, 2012 at 09:40PM EDT
Jun 01, 2012 at 09:35PM EDT
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Ric Tesla wrote:

I might have been miss spoken on the whole “only the rage virus got a chance of existing” thing.




Turns out there is a fungus that can get into the ant’s brain and have it venture to the perfect conditioned areas for fungi to grow.
Now imagine the fungi able to do this with humans.
It may not be a virus that will make zombies. But a fungi, which it can control the brain. But who knows, our brains/body defense systems are way to much for this fungi.
Until the government experiments with it.

I’ve heard about these things. It’s actually pretty neat when it isn’t your brain being eaten by fungi. I wonder how something like that would affect a human though, considering that we are (1) not nearly as hive-minded as an and, and (2) in possession of much more complicated brains.

Jun 01, 2012 at 09:50PM EDT
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Platus wrote:

I’ve heard about these things. It’s actually pretty neat when it isn’t your brain being eaten by fungi. I wonder how something like that would affect a human though, considering that we are (1) not nearly as hive-minded as an and, and (2) in possession of much more complicated brains.

And that is where the genetically engineering scientists comes in!!
They do it not for pay or fame or not because of the probable repercussions.
They only do it because they can, because it’s SCIENCE!

Last edited Jun 01, 2012 at 09:55PM EDT
Jun 01, 2012 at 09:55PM EDT
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Ric Tesla wrote:

And that is where the genetically engineering scientists comes in!!
They do it not for pay or fame or not because of the probable repercussions.
They only do it because they can, because it’s SCIENCE!

Jun 01, 2012 at 10:00PM EDT
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Skeletor-sm

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