Hello and welcome to the 2012 Princess debates. I’m Fifths and I’ll be the moderator for this event. Please join me in welcoming our first guess, Princess Celestia
Celestia: Hi Fifths, happy to be here.
and now for our second guest, the incumbant, Princess Luna
So let’s get right into it! Princess Luna, your sister has ruled for 1000 years, what criticisms do you have of her policies and what will you change if elected?
Luna: Well, the biggest criticism I have of my sister is her overabundence of suntime spending. Since last December, the days have been getting longer and longer! Experts indicate that at our current rate, we’ll soon be seeing 27 hours of sunlight a day, and studies indicate that this could have negative effects on crop growth and night club revenues! We need to think about the effects this will have on the pegasus pony class, which both eats food and visits night clubs.
If elected, I will bring a little sanity to the solar/lunar cycle and restore the 12 hour night.
Princess Celestia, your response?
Princess Celestia: Preposterous! I don’t know where you get your facts from sister, but I had no intention of instituting a 27 hour day. The increases in solar time have been an absolute neccesity to fight the cold and help those poor ponies in the pegasus pony class! I was in a small town called Ponyville just a few months ago where I met a young pegasus named Scootaloo who said “Princess, my hooves are cold, can you please help?” I told her I would, and I have kept my promise sister! I gave her a little more sunlight to warm herself with.
Princess Luna: You could have got her some boots…
Princess Celestia: Once the climate is finally balanced, I will advocate for a moderate 12 hour day.
Ok, now let’s get back to-
Princess Celestia: Hold on Fifths. I have to wonder how it is that everypony is concerned about my solar increases and not looking at Luna’s more extreme policies.
Well perhaps we can let her explain them for us-
Princess Celestia: Luna has been quoted saying that if elected, she will “Make the night last forever”, I don’t know how that’s going to help that little pegasus pony’s cold hooves.
THANK YOU PRINCESS CELESTIA! Princess Luna, your response?
Princess Luna: Oh please, that quote has been taken massively out of context!
Princess Celestia: You were screaming it at a crowd of terrified ponies as you cast a spell that made the night last forever.
Princess Luna: Look, let’s just stick to the issues here. My sister believes the only way to reverse our climate problems is to keep adding more and more sunlight, but this trend will only spell disaster for the pegasus pony class! VOTE FOR PRINCESS LUNA AND THE 12 HOUR NIGHT!
Princess Celestia: My sister wants to be an evil dictator and she has absolutely no experience in it. VOTE FOR PRINCESS CELESTIA AND THE 12 HOUR DAY!
Well, that’s all folks. Join us for the next of the Princess debates in this heated campaign!