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Internet dating

Last posted Oct 04, 2012 at 08:46PM EDT. Added Oct 02, 2012 at 11:30AM EDT
19 posts from 15 users

Well, I am single. (Gee, someone on kym is single? )

So I Decided to give the Internet a shot.

Just was wondering if anyone has any experience with Internet match meeting or care to share their feelings about it. I know that my dad actually met his current wife online back when e-harmony was the business.

All my past relationships I have made through bars, house parties, ect. So this will be cool. In today’s world it seems people won’t even look you in the eye anymore when walking down the street or in any public place.

Bam! I made a POF account. And my responses so far are pretty funny. So much trolling potential. But I guess I’ll use this thread to keep updating my situation.

But when I started my account, this was my captcha

That’s pretty uhhh, erm, ok?

Oct 02, 2012 at 11:30AM EDT
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I’m currently in a relationship which started over the internet, but it didn’t start via match-making sites. It’s something that evolved out of a friendship as opposed to something that started with dating. Unfortunately, since the relationship started in such a way I didn’t have any choice over where he happened to live (yes, you did read that right, I said ‘he’), so we’re currently separated by a considerable distance. We have met IRL though, and there are plans for us to meet again in what I hope will be the near-future, so it’s not entirely confined to the internet. I know that’s very different to your situation, but at least it shows that the internet is sometimes successful when it comes to this sort of thing.

Last edited Oct 02, 2012 at 12:14PM EDT
Oct 02, 2012 at 12:13PM EDT
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Random encounters have only a very slim chance of producing a compatible relationship, especially if you are even slightly eccentric or deviate from the norm in the smallest of ways. You can increase your chances by becoming involved in a community of your interests, which is usually what one does when surfing the web. I am not sure if dating sites or just regular social situations on other sites are more efficient at producing compatible matches because, in my opinion, if you go out looking for a relationship you will not find one that lasts.

The situation under which a relationship is formed often determines how long it will last and under what conditions it will end. In my experience, platonic friendships turning into romantic relationships usually produce a situation that lasts longer than other methods. However, if I had a need for a relationship I would probably look to the internet first.

Good luck with your search.

Last edited Oct 02, 2012 at 12:27PM EDT
Oct 02, 2012 at 12:26PM EDT
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It would be interesting to follow this. However, I could see where this would get fairly personal if you were to meet someone you really liked (however, at that point, I’d guess it might be less of an online relationship than it would be a IRL relationship.)
 
 
Personally, I don’t have much experience in online dating. A friend tried to hook me up with someone through a chat. That seemed to go very well until she asked for pictures of me:

silence

“How tall are you?”
 
Really tho. That’s your first question. Can’t even compliment my sweater (It was a nice sweater.) Really tho?
 
Granted, I’m short for most American women, let alone men, and I do recognize that most heterosexual women prefer their romantic partners to be taller than them. But I wasn’t in the mood to “overcome” something that I really don’t feel like I should have to overcome, so I really didn’t try much after that.
 
 
Anyway, the experience up to that point was pleasant (and we just sorta stopped talking after a while, so it’s not like it ended on a bad note with me calling her shallow or something, because I really don’t think she is.) I might consider dating services once I’m out of school for a bit.
 
Just like people find friends online (because you frequent communities where you already know you share an interest/set of beliefs, and a lot of other factors (e.g. looks, IRL interpersonal skills) don’t get in the way,) you probably might find some people you’re interested in dating online as well.
 
 
I do wonder how often these relationships end once the people meet in reality for the first time/first few times. I’m very cynical about relationships, and I think looks play a huge part in determining whether or not you continue to be attracted to a person.

I remember a time where a person I know developed a crush on a person of whom I spoke highly. The first person sorta developed a crush on that other person, but when they actually met, the first person was very honest with me and lost interest primarily based upon the second person’s looks.

I know it happens. I’d like to see how often.
 
 
There is a stereotype that people who date online are at least somewhat desperate or at least reclusive and don’t meet up with friends much. Furthermore, people don’t immediately use Internet dating services when they first become interested in dating. They often wait (for various reasons, but one would explicitly be because they are looking for someone to date,) which probably means that they have not had success with dating IRL first.

I mean, when you first started college, job, or the military (if you’re old enough,) did you immediately take to using a dating website? Probably not. I wouldn’t have even considered it, because I was in college and was around literally thousands of women my age, with my level of intellect, and were mostly available.

I didn’t consider using an online service until graduate school, where I don’t have that same contact with people (and thus women.)
 
I do expect this population to be more “desperate” and more likely to see past some “issues” than those who do not use online dating services (although not all or even most to be like this, but I would reasonably expect that those who choose to not use dating services.)

Oct 02, 2012 at 01:08PM EDT

I once had an online relationship with a guy I met on an anime/manga forum. He lived pretty far away from me, but everything was going great… until I found out he was a big phony and he was just toying with me essentially. That doesn’t mean I have lost belief that internet relationships can’t work though. My Aunt met a man online that lived all the way in Australia (we live in the US) and yet they still figured out a way to be together, they got married and have been married for about 9 or 10 years now. My dad met my step mom on eHarmony and they are going on their 5th year of marriage. It really is a beautiful thing sometimes, you just have to be careful.

As for me, I think I prefer a relationship that starts in person, I met my current boyfriend at a birthday party in a bowling alley, and we’re going on a year and a half now :3

Oct 02, 2012 at 01:13PM EDT
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Hello ladies, I’m RandomMan. I’m a Dutch, 20 year old single male looking for a nice female that’s fun to hang around with once we get to know each other. I am your fun person to hang out with and am easy to talk to, but can be a listening ear when you need one. I like internet culture and hanging out, but don’t mind playing a videogame at times. I am currently still in college and am hoping to get my degree in the following years.

If I might be the male you’re looking for, don’t hesitate to give me a call.

Oct 02, 2012 at 05:14PM EDT
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RandomMan wrote:

Hello ladies, I’m RandomMan. I’m a Dutch, 20 year old single male looking for a nice female that’s fun to hang around with once we get to know each other. I am your fun person to hang out with and am easy to talk to, but can be a listening ear when you need one. I like internet culture and hanging out, but don’t mind playing a videogame at times. I am currently still in college and am hoping to get my degree in the following years.

If I might be the male you’re looking for, don’t hesitate to give me a call.

BOOM, PREGNANT!

Oct 02, 2012 at 05:24PM EDT
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most of the dudes I’ve dated since 2005 have come from the internet. internet dating is much weirder for the ladies, i only used okc, but i would get sketchy messages multiple times a week, mostly just saying DAT ASS or YOU LOOK LIKE YOU LIKE TO EAT WINK WINK or something like that.

my current boyfriend, he messaged me on okc and we talked once or twice, followed each other on tumblr and then i got really sick and fell off the face of the earth for a few months. we spent a whole year liking each other’s posts on tumblr before we talked again. it’s weird especially because we like very different music and is very unlike most of the boys i’ve dated in my life. it’s worked out really well though, even though he lives an hour away from me (and doesn’t drive x.x).

just be safe, always meet in public places, and keep in mind most everyone will lie and HPV can be contracted even with a condom!

Oct 02, 2012 at 05:27PM EDT
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@verbose

->mfw I’m 6’3

I am actually not intending this thread to be about my Internet sex adventures, but if the ppl want to see how it goes ill start posting.

@randomman

I see you’re straight forward in letting everyone know that you are a duche-

*grabs glasses

O.0

Oct 02, 2012 at 05:30PM EDT
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My friends talked me into making an online dating account with a website. It’s still online and advertising too, but I haven’t been using it.

I gave it a try for a while and struck up some conversations with some girls and guys but nobody seemed to have much of an attention span and nothing would get started

Maybe they were waiting for me to initiate something but I just don’t find myself interested in getting people’s attention for sexual favors across the internet. My friends tell me that I really do need to get laid but I just don’t seem to give a damn. Sometimes I wonder if I must be asexual (though some of the things I do while drunk suggest otherwise)

Maybe it’s because approaching someone online for a date feels really awkward to me. The last time I had a girlfriend, I don’t think we ever officially dated. We started of as friends and then slowly moved into ‘more-than-friend’ territory but we continued doing friend things. We liked that ‘non-conforming-to-stereotypical-dating-scene’ atmosphere. So without that experience, I guess I wouldn’t actually know what I’m doing in an official date contracted over the internet with someone I only just met.

In fact all of the shenanigans I have been up to has involved people I knew in person for at least a while. Perhaps I just have a requirement of familiarizing myself with a person before finding myself interested in them and that makes online dating difficult


@Algernon

Sorry, I just imagine you two are so cute together :3

Oct 02, 2012 at 10:47PM EDT
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Hello ladies.
I’m French.

Oct 02, 2012 at 10:50PM EDT
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I’ve never dated anyone, and probably won’t for a while. Mostly because I don’t exactly know anything about ‘What time should I ask’ and ‘What sort of approach should I make’ and, most of all, ‘How do I ask my friends for advice without them going OOOHHH! U LIEK HER?!?!?! LOL, IM TELLIN EVERYONE!’. And for everyone else, I give you my feels for the future.

Sincerely,
A Forever Alone Turtle

Oct 02, 2012 at 10:51PM EDT
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Tomberry wrote:

Hello ladies.
I’m French.

I’m American, but I’m not fat. Ladies, prepare your anuses.

Oct 02, 2012 at 11:00PM EDT
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RandomMan wrote:

Hello ladies, I’m RandomMan. I’m a Dutch, 20 year old single male looking for a nice female that’s fun to hang around with once we get to know each other. I am your fun person to hang out with and am easy to talk to, but can be a listening ear when you need one. I like internet culture and hanging out, but don’t mind playing a videogame at times. I am currently still in college and am hoping to get my degree in the following years.

If I might be the male you’re looking for, don’t hesitate to give me a call.

Your karma makes me weak at the knees.

Oct 02, 2012 at 11:51PM EDT
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@Verbose

I was actually kind of relieved to learn you were a smaller guy. I knew you were black, and ya, probably a little racist on the part of my subconcious, but I had envisioned you as being 6’8 and built like a brick shithouse. We weren’t meeting on the friendliest terms either, so I didn’t imagine you being of the most amiable temperament either. I had imagined this.

“So Fifths, we were having a disagreement if you’ll recall.”
“Uh…”

Because ya, that guy totally looks like your average KYM user.

Anyway, on topic. The problem with online relationships, as people have pointed out already, is you’re taking a gamble on the physical dimension. Might be that you don’t like the way the person look in person, or the mannerisms they have in person, or hell, even the way they smell with all the subconcious pheromone garbage. It can work, but you need to realize you’re taking a gamble.

Last edited Oct 04, 2012 at 07:52PM EDT
Oct 04, 2012 at 07:51PM EDT
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Thanks for bumping fiths. I forgot. I got so many hits already. So many grenades!!!!

*posting results in a bit

Oct 04, 2012 at 08:23PM EDT
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BaSedAleX -_- wrote:

Thanks for bumping fiths. I forgot. I got so many hits already. So many grenades!!!!

*posting results in a bit

Oct 04, 2012 at 08:26PM EDT
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RandomMan wrote:

Now that’s just wrong… I approve.

Last edited Oct 04, 2012 at 08:48PM EDT
Oct 04, 2012 at 08:46PM EDT
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Skeletor-sm

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