@Guy Who Married Twilight
Please, that was so six months ago. We’ve moved on to the guy on DeviantART who started an anti-Twilicorn group and wrote a Declaration of Independence from canon. You think I’m joking?
In Special Session of [GROUP NAME REDACTED], July 4, 2013
The unanimous Declaration of the BronyCanon fans of Terra.
10 score & 37 years, a group of intelligent, well-minded men created a new nation on the continent of North America. On their founding document, they stated that “When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” It was with these words that liberated those former colonies from their imperial and corporate overlords and establish what would become, through good times and bad, the sole world superpower as of this date. Now, on that nation’s day of independence, the time has come for another declaration of separation only not from any legal body, but instead from the new frontier known as the Internet. In that untamed wilderness, there exist a group of people who share a fascination with a wondrous, magical world of multi-colored equines and the magic of friendship. This is our story.
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one group of fans to dissolve the canonical bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of the Omniverse and of the Omniverse’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of the Internet requires that they should declare the causes which had impelled them to their separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all canons are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator(s) with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Existence, Liberty and the pursuit of Equality.--That to secure these rights, Movies, television shows, video games, and comics are created, deriving their just powers from the consent of the fans and the corporations, That whenever any Form of Corporation becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Fans to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new canon, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to affect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Canons long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience has shown, that fans are more disposed to suffer, while evils are insufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpation’s, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Corporate Fascism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such demagogues, and to provide new custodians for their future security. Such has been the patient sufferance of these fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Order. The history of the present corporation of Hasbro is a history of repeated injuries and usurpation’s, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over this Canon. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid and curious world.
They have created a monopoly of opinion across most of the major websites in which Bronies congregate. Doing this makes it virtually impossible for someone to raise an opinion against the changes without reprisal
They have used the writers as a voice-box to spread their vile propaganda worldwide and to make it look like they are infallible in everything they do.
They continue to use outdated and sexist cliches in their work instead of doing something new and innovative.
They have been guilty of the most blatant Executive Meddling in Animation history since the cancelling of Sym-Bionic Titan and the Eisner era of Disney.
They have funded politicians to pass laws that would alter copyright laws into their favor
They continue to enforce a modern day system of slavery in Southeast Asia which in turn causes massive unemployment in the United States
They continue to destroy the minds of impressionable children everywhere that talks down to them and treats them like idiots instead of individuals who will need knowledge in order to inherit the world.
They twist the words of the original show-creator in an Orwellian way to further support their views
In nearly every stage of these Oppression’s, We have petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A CEO whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant is unfit to be the ruler of a canon.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brony brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by the writers to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our opinions and judgment. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpation’s which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. Some respond with threats against our well-being. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the Brony fandom, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good Fans of this fandom, solemnly publish and declare, That this Canon is, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to DHX Studios, and that all connection between them and the Hasbro corporation, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent Canons, they have full Power to make stories, create characters, form Multi-media alliances, establish Order, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Canons may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Loves, our Dreams, and Ourselves. And if we may fall in some great battle, let us pledge that we shall not have died in vain, that this world under all Gods shall have a new birth of freedom and whatever form of government they may take, let us hope it will be a government of the people, by the people, for the people, that shall not perish from the earth. So In conclusion, the Real Bronies everywhere support every revolutionary movement against the existing order of things. The Real Bronies disdain to conceal their views and aims. They openly declare that their ends can be attained only by the forcible overthrow of all existing corporate conditions. Let the ruling classes tremble at a Brony revolution. The fans have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win.
Fans of the world unite!
-Equinox-2nd Royal Historian of Equestria, Protector of the Multiverse, High Chancellor of Canon, Commander-in-Chief of all armed forces, Fellow Brony.
(inb4 banned for “affairs of other boards”, which I’ve actually noticed, isn’t in the Forum Rules.)
I’ve only had alcohol three times in my life. Once, when my mom bought some alcohol-infused gelato without reading the ingredients. Then, she later bought a rum cake, again, without reading the ingredients. Then, my dad let me try some horrible cheap wine one New Year’s that was one of the most bitter and sour things I’ve ever tasted. I’ll stick with Faygo. It’s cheaper, doesn’t require a photo ID, and doesn’t kill my liver.
I never realized how few Scootaloo pictures I have faved.