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@Giegue

I'm not angry at you, dude. I must have come off that way by accident.

Yeah, it's just that to me, caps lock=anger, unless it's an acronym or initialism.

Add me to the list, if you want c:

Verbose wrote:

Question: Do same sex relationships have a lot of problems holding up? It doesn’t seem like people are talking about loving relationships here. A lot of it has been friends with benefits and hookups. Most of my straight friends have sex, but it’s usually on the context of a relationship, Christian and not religious.

I have a personal theory about this which may not be very popular, but a few of my LGBT friends have said there's definitely something to it.

As you no doubt are aware, there is a certain portion of the population that tries very hard to dictate sexual mores to the rest, generally my folks, the fundies. In the eyes of such people, the best possible way that one can express one's sexuality is to save it for monogamous heterosexual marriage. If you're not heterosexual, though, then you don't get approval whether you wait for "marriage" (in quotes because they will never recognize it, and the state didn't recognize it until recently) or not. With some members of the LGBT community, there can sometimes be a sort of backlash; a sort of, if you won't accept me, then I won't accept you, attitude.

I personally have always been encouraging of people seeking out loving, monogamous relationships in which to express their sexuality no matter what their orientation. I think it's safer, healthier, and more emotionally fulfilling in the end. But I'm not going to be judgmental of people who act otherwise, partially because of the plank in my own eye, having not been a virgin when I married. Still, I recognize in my life that those sexual relationships I had before my wife were ultimately more hurtful that helpful to me as a person. I'd better stop now because I'm getting more personal than on-topic.

Alright guys, here's a rough draft of the new list. The people with an asterisk next to their name are the ones who have identified as something in the thread but haven't given direct permission to be on the list. Do what you want with it.

Lesbian:

Lexi
Lea

Gay:

Opspe
Madcat
Connor
Platus
Doc
Random21
Mexx Android
Philip
Giegue

Bi:

Ann
Cale
Taryn
Markhaox (Pan)
Chris
Crazy☾/Harshwhinny
Cite (Demi)
Blue Screen (Possibly Pan)
Jostin Asuncion
Brucker
Calkarot
*Jimmy "Sniper" Lethal
*Algernon
*Soos, The Pizza Guy
*Myndnix
Snickerway

Asexual: (if it should be on the list at all, which I think it should)

Dr. Sockpuppet

Trans:

Natsuru (Genderfluid male)
Fandroid / Maromi (MtF)
Science Spider (Genderfluid male)
*Peacock Roy

Burgosexual:

Captain Blubber (just for lolz)

Do any of you mods have the ability to edit others' posts past the 30 minute time limit? This should probably go in the OP if it could be put there.

also I should be under "bi" but I'm not :(

I'd be willing to do it, but I'm not clear on why that would be better. (And by the time you read this, you should be added to the list.)

Done. Also sorted alphabetically and added Demi, Pan, and Genderfluid sections.

I keep meaning to add to one of these discussions (and I don't think I have yet) that there may be a connection between the large number of LGBT members and the large number of members with Aspergers. I've heard some people say online that people with Aspergers are somewhat more likely to be bisexual, although I have no idea if any actual study has been done on the matter.

Don't mean to complicate things but I actually don't identify as gay, I identify as queer. Thanks for making this thread + including me in it, even though I haven't been on KYM in… a whole year!?!

Glad to see you're all doing well!

What would you define the difference between "gay" and "queer" as?

Sorry, I'm not very caught up with my terminology. Just curious, that's all.

"Queer" is a term generally defining strange or outside the norm. However, in this context it's more of a social term than a sexual/gender based one. People who are queer but not LGBT often fall under the idea of countercultural. They aren't with the LGBT groupings, but they don't identify as heterosexual.

I'll go ahead and take you off the list, Doc.

Important question: where is this list located?

I identify as queer as opposed to gay for a number of reasons:

1. I've never been 100% concrete about my sexuality, in the past I've identified strongly as straight, gay, bisexual, and pansexual, either because my sexuality was fluid or I was just really fucking confused. So using "queer" allows me to keep the same term and feel comfortable and confident with my identity, even if my sexuality fluctuates or changes.

2. "Gay" to me (but not necessarily to anyone else) means only being attracted to males, cis or trans. I've been attracted to cis and trans males but also to people who are genderfluid, genderqueer, and other non-binary genders; mostly people who identify as more masculine than feminine. So I feel identifying as queer better encompasses all of that.

Queer still falls under LGBT, it's included in most long-form LGBT acronyms, like LGBTT2QQAAIIP (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Transexual, Two-Spirit, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Intergender, Asexual, Allies, Pansexual).

I like this quote from the poet and writer Brandon Wint to describe the use of the word.

“Not queer like gay. Queer like escaping definition. Queer like some sort of fluidity and limitlessness at once. Queer like a freedom too strong to be conquered. Queer like the fearlessness to imagine what love can look like… and pursue it”

So I'd actually like to still be included on the list, if that's alright. Sorry for all the trouble!

First post of the thread.

--

@Doc
Added a Queer category to the bottom of the list.

@Doc

Based on your description, I would have considered you pansexual. It seems you're rather open to most anything and are not at all bothered by the specific details. You are more interested in the who. The what doesn't really matter. Furthermore, your sexuality has a lot of freedom and is capable of changing. Which is something I am inclined to believe Pans can do. Not all sexual orientations are perfectly static. Some are fluid. And Pansexuality is probably one of the most fluid

But I'll of course respectfully regard you by the term you feel most comfortable with

Again, it's all based on my personal experience, I don't mean to define what gay or pansexual mean to anyone else, they're just not terms I feel comfortable using to describe my sexuality. Pansexual, to me, means that the "what" doesn't matter, and the "what" does tend to matter to me; I find I don't have any romantic compatibility with people who more strongly identify as female. So my chances of being in a relationship with someone who's a cis or trans female, or even genderfluid females and feminine genderqueer people, are slim to none.

@Doc

Fair enough. And you are right about Pansexuality. So if you felt that term didn't cut it then I'm no one to disagree

Like I said, I'll refer you by what you recommend. You know yourself best.

I suppose, considering how infinite the spectrum is, there are just some cases where an orientation just can't be accurately pinned down. But I guess that's why we have Queer.

Ok, it's time for me to ramble on about problems I'm having.

Ever since I came out to my mom years ago, she has been extremely resistant to the idea that I could be trans, to the point that she becomes extremely upset about it. She has often confronted me in her upsetness that I am too masculine to be a girl, and that by deciding to take action I am going to lead myself into dark dead ends. She often becomes very emotional at me, the the point that she is yelling and crying. She says that by telling me in this way that I have nothing feminine about me that would make me fit in better as a girl (which is what she thinks it is all about), that she is the only one telling me the truth. Today she compared her actions to telling someone in a crappy relationship that their partner is lousy when they can't see it themselves. She does see that I am unhappy and it makes her unhappy, and she has said that I should get help, but at the same time she believes that I am simply obsessed with the idea of being transgender and that it's not the real issue at hand. I know people often say "Do t care about what other people think" in this kind of situation, but I don't want to upset her anymore. How do I to about doing that?

Hi Peacock. I've studied psychology/sociology, but I'm not trans myself, or a doctor, so you'll have to take everything I say with a pinch of salt. It seems to me that your mum's emotions could possibly stem from a lack of understanding/knowledge on the subject of transgenderism (please correct me if I'm wrong).
 

You mentioned that she has stated that you "should get help". Perhaps if you and your mum together attended a discussion session with a GP or a gender therapist, they may be able to explain your situation in greater detail. This may then highlight things better for your mum, allowing her learn more about what it means to be transgendered.
 
Hope this helps.

@Peacock Roy:

What bullets said. It seems pretty clear that both you and your mom need help in this situation, and there certainly are places to seek it.

@thread:

Just wanted to make sure everyone saw this submission in the Tumblr gallery:

It's probably urban it comes from that, yes, but I think part of it has to do with things I've said trying to explain myself to her when I didn't know how to say it. One line she always brings up that I said was "I don't feel like a boy so I must be a girl," or something to that effect. If I did say that, I probably meant that I feel more like a girl than a boy, not in how I present myself, but in how I feel. But she seems to think it's the former.

I do already see a psychologist, although he has stated he is probably unfit to help me and gave me a referral to a place. My dad, although he also thinks I'm mistaken, is willing to help me in this area to try to find myself out, although he is the kind of person who waits a lot before doing anything, so neither of us have taken much action on it. I personally contacted the place before, although I had declined anything out of a secrecy I was trying to obtain at the time.

Why am I not in that list?
Am I not bi enough for you?

i never got why sex appeal was that good. so i think i might be a man who wants to stay virgin… whatever you call that

@Mr.Stalker:

Asexual?

I want to be added to the list too. But I'm having a hard time deciding what I am. I was gonna say bi, but reading some of these posts made me think "could I be queer? possibly a little trans?" I need to think this though. If I had to say what I am right now, I'd stick with bisexual.

Sorry for the double post. I just had to do this