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Serious or not, doesn't matter. I'd prefer serious theories that are off-the-wall, but hey, get your Conspiracy Keanu on if'n ye want. I'll post one of both, just to set the tone.

• You ever notice how it seems like you always get fewer socks out of a dryer than you put in? And how dryer sheets magically appear in your pant legs and sleeves even though you checked them a million times? I think that dryers actually eat the odd sock or two and then excrete random dryer sheets as waste products. I tell you man, there's no other way! I've checked the tumbler more times than I can count!

• I've noticed a sharp rise in two things over the last few years: feminism, legitimate or otherwise, and moe. While the former likely hates the latter, I get the feeling they're related to the same phenomenon. Some metaphysical teachings state that there are two major "genders" of energy, male and female, and that male energy is hilariously dominant right now. Perhaps this sudden rise in "ladiness" is an increase in female energy, which will have some kinks to work out before settling down and stablizing into a new normal.

I'm pretty sure moe has gone down in recent years, actually.

Pyro is a Hiroshima survivor. This explains why (s)he has never been seen without the mask, and repression of memories led to the creation of Pyroland.

TV channels keep their shitty programing on at the right times when they know people turn off their TVs but forget to turn off the boxes so they can still get the views for their crappy shows and keep them on air so they don't have to pay for new ones even if that means they only have like 2-3 good shows and the other 10 are pure trash.

My example is Comedy Central. They constantly show tosh.0 despite the fact that no one anywhere would possibly want to watch that show. Also "Kid's show" Channels also seem to use this. They count on the fact that they can continue to get views to make money so they don't have to worry about having to cancel the shows and creating new things.

I think the vast delay for Half-Life 3 is mainly due to hardware and they lack story ideas for the game itself. Its been rumored they have been working on a new source engine, which I imagine they would want to put in the new game. but if you honestly think about it, what could they possibly do for the story? Its been so long and hyped so much just by the word of mouth with no evidence, what could they possible do in that game's story to satisfy people? I can't think of anything so I imagine this has lead to the biggest delay.

I think social justice warriors exists because of capitalism! A bunch of privileged white kids said "I wonder if I could steal other privileged white kid's monies..I know I'll use all these online services and exploit their sympathetic sides and take it all". If all SJWs decided to donate to charity rather than figure heads the whole movement would die off because the figure head leaders would be like "no money to make here, on to exploit other stupid people!".

I always think of anything that's necessary sold expensively is a way to farm more money.

Apple, you goddam faget.

"Time" as we know it is just an illusion. All of existence is taking place at the same time. The past never vanishes, and the future has already happened. All of history is fixed, and layed out, like an infinite landscape of simultaneous events that we simply happen to travel through in one direction.

Don has multiple personality disorder and the mods are merely Don's different personalities.

No one, no matter what, can be a true vegan. That's because water is produced in the cellular respiration chemical reaction in animal cells, so any drinkable water is partially an animal product.

God is Shordinger's Cat. He exists, but at the same time he doesn't exist. He's also an eldritch alien from another dimension that has incomprehensible physics and no sense of paradox.

On day, a man known as Lovecraft witnessed God's in his "holy" glory, and promptly made the Cthulhu mythos in a bid to describe what he saw, but always wound up missing details, making the monsters in the mythos slightly more comprehensible than God.

Orwell took influence not just from the USSR, but also from Lovecraft himself. Creating the party, an eldritch system designed to oppress its citizens even to the point of defying all logic to do so.

And finally, all fictional worlds are actually perpendicular universes and parallel universes interacting with ours in complex ways, usually as ideas. and when someone has an idea of their own and makes it into a work, a new universe is made.

Well those are my (mostly joke) theories.