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The "Watcher, Frketson, james, Dave, Chris, Provie and Tristan come back" thread

Last posted Feb 27, 2011 at 07:31PM EST. Added Feb 23, 2011 at 01:52AM EST
11 posts from 9 users

We want you guys back.

Know Your Dateline
Oldfags

They hide behind corners, and they sage your YLYL threads. They make fun of your screen names, and they built up your favorite site's foundation. But who are they?
They are oldfags.
Elite members and founders of websites, who admit that they had passed their prime to have a site of their own. But where are they now? We've found a few, and decided to interview them.

Watcher
We arrived on the scene to the home of "Watcher" one of the oldfags of KYM. he answered us at the door in a mascot uniform resembling a fox. When we had entered, it was a ghastly site. There were scores of pictures of animals and others in his fashion of dress all over the walls. There were at least thirty cats in the room with us, and it reeked of cat urine and ramen.
"So, Mr.Watcher, how long were you active at KYM?"
I looked into his eyes, or rather, his mask's eyes. His unchanging emotionless face was rather eerie, to say the least.
" 'Bout a year, give or take."
"And what did you…Enjoy from it? What gave you the most satisfaction?"
"I've got a bit of a nurturing instinct."
He gestured his paw at the mountains of shredded furniture and cats.
"I like to sort out people….I like…Watching."
"Interesting. On the note of the aformentioned nurturing instinct, what did you do after KYM?"
"I adopted fifty cats, and became a moderator at a few dozen sites…Keeps me busy…Watching."
At this point the smell was overpowering, and I could not stand it.
Subject could be mildly codependent, with a possible god complex in some ways.

james
James's apartment door was covered in locks and chains, as well as boarded and duct taped to the wall. This made talking through the door difficult. What small look I did, however, get through the peephole showed me a magnificent house, with expensive fountains and statues.

"Mister James…Why am I boarded out?"
"I can't talk…Very often…Can't converse…Too distant…Not there…"
"So how long were you on KYM?"
"About four months."
"And what did you do in that time?"
"Everything I touched…Became…Better,somehow…Like the greek legend…All I touch…Golden."
He would not speak after this.
Subject is damaged, possibly depressed.

Frketson

Frketson was by far the most pleasant to talk to.

"So, Frketson, how long were you on KYM?"
"Almost a year, I'd say."
"And what would you say your job was?"
"Beats me, mate…For the most port, I just lied back and was Australian…Rest kinda came in later, mate."
"Would you say you enjoyed it?"
"It was a fun little place…'Fraid I lost the time for it throughout the years, mate."
"And it hasn't turned you into a man in a suit, or a weird shut-in nobody knows much about?"
"No."

Subject seems to be of average intelligence. No problems.

Chris
Subject is big shaved bear, and cannot be interviewed.

Tristan

Subject's apartment was rather dull and minimalistic. The bedroom was nothing more than a small bed, a desk and chair, a type writer, and a stack of paper the size of a wardrobe.

"How long where you on KYM, Mister Tristan."
"Uhh…I'd say a year, about."
"And what did you do in that year?"
"Not alot, actually. I wrote about two entries, and I wrote thousands of amusing quips and whatnot."
"Amusing quips?"
"Yeah,uhh…I'd pop in a joke in a thread or two…I also wrote a,uh…Fanfic. Went over pretty well."
"What do you do nowadays?"
"Same thing. I blog, write stories…Writing, has, uh…Always been my thing.

Subject is constantly looking around and pausing mid-sentence. The stack of papers is also unnerving. Possible ADD and habit-related OCD.

Dave

"So,Dave, how long where you on KYM?"
"I've actually gone past time,pssh…Time's pretty mainstream, ya dig? Too corporate."
"…I see. What do you do now?"
"I play in my band…It's a revival ska polka with a sort of electro sound. It's called "How I learned to take out my wallet without tearing my skinnie jeans (Or the summer of love experiment 4563)" It's pretty indie, pretty cool. We don't use CD's though, too corporate. We have records. Wanna buy one?"

Subject is a hipster.