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Anti-Pun thread.

Last posted Jul 09, 2011 at 06:12PM EDT. Added Jul 05, 2011 at 10:04PM EDT
35 conversations with 23 participants

Say things that are not Puns.

Jul 05, 2011 at 10:04PM EDT

Purchasing tires made me aware of inflationary pressures.

Jul 05, 2011 at 10:10PM EDT
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Alex wrote:

Purchasing tires made me aware of inflationary pressures.

I’m too tired to make a tire comment.

Jul 05, 2011 at 10:19PM EDT
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Mister J wrote:

I’m too tired to make a tire comment.

Well, puns about monorails always make for decent one-liners.

Jul 05, 2011 at 10:24PM EDT
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A picture is worth a thousand words.

Last edited Jul 05, 2011 at 10:38PM EDT
Jul 05, 2011 at 10:26PM EDT
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A Jewish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks him in the eye and says “We’re closed”.

Jul 05, 2011 at 10:29PM EDT

Sweatie Killer wrote:

Say things that are not Puns.

So this piece of string walks into a bar and tries to order a drink. The bartender says that they don’t serve pieces of string and asks him to leave. The piece of string goes outside, ties himself up and rubs his ends against the sidewalk until they get fluffy. Then he goes back in and tries to order a drink again. The bartender says, “Aren’t you that piece of string I just kicked out?” The string replies “I’m a frayed knot!”

Jul 05, 2011 at 10:59PM EDT
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This is obviously punishment from god, I mean this thread is just terrible.

Jul 06, 2011 at 10:50AM EDT

Brucker wrote:

So this piece of string walks into a bar and tries to order a drink. The bartender says that they don’t serve pieces of string and asks him to leave. The piece of string goes outside, ties himself up and rubs his ends against the sidewalk until they get fluffy. Then he goes back in and tries to order a drink again. The bartender says, “Aren’t you that piece of string I just kicked out?” The string replies “I’m a frayed knot!”

Jul 06, 2011 at 10:54AM EDT
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papap wrote:

Tomatoes are technically fruits.

Do NOT get me started.

Jul 06, 2011 at 01:31PM EDT
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Guy 1: ..and thats my hypothesis on relativity.
Guy 2: You haven’t gone poo for a while have you?
Guy 1: Why?
Guy 2: Because your full of shit!
Guy 1: Hey! What I said made sense.
Guy 2: Oh cut the crap.
Guy 1: What the hell?
Guy 2: Your ideas are a wipeout. Oh, I must assk , am I making you butthurt? Is your day becoming a little crappy? That stinks.
Guy 1: Just shut the fuck up already!
Guy 2: Well your a potty mouth, butt I guess these jokes are a dense load, but I still want to log them in my joke diary-uh. Why don’t you take a crack at one?
  
I was going to go on but I decided not to damage your eyes anymore

Last edited Jul 06, 2011 at 02:09PM EDT
Jul 06, 2011 at 02:06PM EDT
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Jack Candle wrote:

Do NOT get me started.

I’ve heard it said that watermelons are technically berries.

Jul 06, 2011 at 08:15PM EDT
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Wait… I thought we were not supposed to post puns. I was clearly misinforumed

Last edited Jul 06, 2011 at 08:41PM EDT
Jul 06, 2011 at 08:39PM EDT
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No, we were supposed to post “knot puns”, right? Wait, did I screw it up?

Jul 06, 2011 at 09:31PM EDT
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As Holmes, who had a nose for danger, quietly fingered the bloody knife and eyed the various body parts strewn along the dark, deserted highway, he placed his ear to the ground and, with his heart in his throat, silently mouthed to his companion, “Arm yourself, Watson, there is an evil hand afoot ahead.

Jul 06, 2011 at 09:50PM EDT
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Brucker wrote:

No, we were supposed to post “knot puns”, right? Wait, did I screw it up?

Yeah, we’re knot supposed to post puns in this thread.

Jul 06, 2011 at 09:51PM EDT
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I can bearly take these unbearable puns.

Last edited Jul 06, 2011 at 09:58PM EDT
Jul 06, 2011 at 09:57PM EDT
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I must knot fall behind, everyone else is tied with puns, but I’m not doing well, I’m in a bit of a bind.

Jul 07, 2011 at 04:18PM EDT
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What kind of cheese do you use to coax a bear to come down from a tree?

camembert

Last edited Jul 07, 2011 at 04:28PM EDT
Jul 07, 2011 at 04:27PM EDT
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Hamilton wrote:

A Jewish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks him in the eye and says “We’re closed”.

The Jewish man cried out, “By the love of God WHY?”

Jul 07, 2011 at 04:53PM EDT
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I sea what you did there. The process of these waves of additions being added to this ocean of puns is going quite swimmingly.

Water your thoughts on this matter?

Jul 08, 2011 at 08:17AM EDT
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Serithi wrote:

I sea what you did there. The process of these waves of additions being added to this ocean of puns is going quite swimmingly.

Water your thoughts on this matter?

Well sea water the things we can do on this matter, but for now, well just have to wet. Wet do you sink?

Last edited Jul 08, 2011 at 08:29AM EDT
Jul 08, 2011 at 08:28AM EDT
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I sink you’re right, we’ll just have to wet and sea.

Jul 09, 2011 at 08:56AM EDT
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Wait, what were you sinking about? I sense there are something fishy in here…..

Jul 09, 2011 at 06:12PM EDT
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Skeletor-sm

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