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There are 15 men outside, each armed with crowbars. You have to use what is next to you to fight them. What is it?

(But I do got a toy lemon grenade from Aperture right next to me.)

Three rottweilers…

I say my odds are good.

I have a wall.
Yep.

A toothpick…

A t-shirt.
Dammit.

An unfinished picture of humanized Fluttershy, some pencils, and a boxcutter knife (used for sharpening the pencils).

Oh, I’m so gonna win this fight.

First I’ll incapasitate the most of them by showing them the picture of Fluttershy. Then I stab the immobilized brutes with the box cutter knife while they are too preoccupied with dawwwing at Fluttershy. Then I throw the sharpened pencils at the eyes of the unaffected brutes.

After that, I’ll grab a crowbar… And suddenly headcrabs!!!

AWWWWWWWWWWW YEAH!

fuck yeah

I want one of those…

Oh, here’s a pocket knife. If I can slow their entrance to my apartment by forcing them through the windows, I should be able to stab and slash vital places before they have space to swing their crowbars in a manner that’s dangerous to me. The windows have screens, so it should take them time to get through that: it won’t be a matter of “break window and jump in.”. And I can move to each window much more quickly than they can get through the window. It also takes time to swing a crowbar, giving me more time to avoid any one blow, and not as much time for them to avoid a knife.

If I can incapacitate enough of them, then I may be able to just take to the door, break through their remaining numbers’ attempted grapples, avoid any lethal or critical blows from the crowbars, endure body blows and take to running. That one break for an escape would only take about a second or less, so if they don’t see my switch from aggressively defensive to escape tactics coming, they won’t have time to react.
 
If I can break free of an enclosed space, then I’ll be fine. I can assure you, they won’t catch me if I start running…People had enough trouble doing that when I played football.
 
 
Or I may just hide and stuff.

That’s exactly what I have next to me! It even has plastic wrapping around it.

A cup of coffee, fuck.

I also have a drawing tablet…

Meanwhile on my left.

I think i’ll just die then.

…Yeah il survive

wait wait, let me post Sweatie’s answer.

I have pillows, lots and lots of pillows.

I have my sister… I guess I can throw her at them and pick them off one by one while they’re down.

I’ve got a keyboard.

LOL I have my bed, what am I gonna do? invite all those guys in to “sleep” with me.

A pencil. Well i guess i can gouge out their eye’s if I’m lucky…

Okay, I have several options here

Plan: When the first guy comes in, shove the paper bag over his head and bonk him with the fire hydrant, throw the heavy books at the rest to distract them them grab the keys and run for the car.

There is no way that plan could fail

Dude how

And what the he’ll will a carpet do? Do I wait for them to walk on it and pull it away?

*viewing thread on mobile device, between the bathroom and the kitchen:

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ALL SHALL FEAR THE LEGENDARY PLUNGER MACE!

I’m perfectly fine as long as they dislike spicy food.

I’ll show them the movie, “Glitter”……………………………….wait, I take that back; too brutal.

I have, the cheat commandos action figures…
(this isn’t an actual picture of them, took it off google)

ive got a cart full of laptops.

Dammit.

….
a computer mouse.
yeah im dead.

From the little I can see, I think you meant to say fire extinguisher instead of fire hydrant.
Unless you actually have a fire hydrant out of view.

opens a new tab, goes on to youtube, types in “Rebecca Black – Friday”
No one’s getting into my room.

Don’t give a shit, call me a pussy, I’ll use my phone and call the cops.

Yes I meant ‘extinguisher’. But I think most people understood that despite by vocabulary glitch.

I’ve got my trusty iPhone. Within 5 minutes, I can download a gun or lightsaber app and make short work of them all!