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I have shocking news.

Last posted Feb 10, 2012 at 10:48PM EST. Added Feb 08, 2012 at 05:07PM EST
46 conversations with 28 participants

I’ve been doing extensive research on this topic for quite some time. It took vast amounts of effort and years of testing, but I think I’ve finally found the answer. And the answer is quite shocking. Ladies and gentleman…

Mister J is a wolf.

Yes, I know, it was hard for me to believe at first as well. But the evidence is indisputable.

1. His picture. Just look at this thing.

Okay, while this is some sort of weird caricature of a wolf, it is still a wolf nonetheless! I declare it so!

2. He’s a wolf.

This was the most damning evidence I found. If he is not a wolf, then why is he a wolf?

3. He demonstrates wolf-like behavior.

I thought it was pretty strange when he started barking, fetching, eating raw meat and howling at the moon, but I thought it was just a phase he was going through. But I now realize it was actually because he’s a wolf!

I think we should take appropriate action. For example, we should make a doghouse with a little sign that says “Mister J” on it. And we should adopt a female wolf for him to mate with, and then we can create a wolf colony. We should also begin calling him “Mister Wolfy” on the forums and “MrWolfy” on the IRC.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to my scientific discovery, and I hope I have enlightened you all.

Last edited Feb 08, 2012 at 05:16PM EST
Feb 08, 2012 at 05:07PM EST
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Arex wrote:

Well I have some Hawking news…

that pun was Hawkward

Last edited Feb 08, 2012 at 05:20PM EST
Feb 08, 2012 at 05:20PM EST
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I find something seriously wrong with this thread.

First let us counter your hypothesis: Mister J is a wolf.

This can’t be right. We’ll start of by using the wolf.

So currently we’re saying that Mister J is indeed a wolf and is surfing on the web. Wolfs obviously lack the brain power to do something like that.

That is a wolf paw. How the hell would Mister J be able to type like that, wolfs don’t have the movement in their “fingers” like humans do. If he was to type, he would hit at least 4 keys at the same time.

“But Random, you’re a bunny. That makes this argument invalid.”

Thought of that.

As you can see, my paws are a lot smaller, small enough to allow me to type. Plus I’m God tier, you don’t question my powers. All there is left for you to wonder about is the best way to obey me.

The arguments aren’t much, but they should proof enough.

Then there remains the question: What IS Mister J?

Based on a picture he posted before, we can confirm he’s human (somewhat). But yet, how he acts like an animal, it brings questions.

But we all know evolution can take strange turns. As we learned from Twilight where somewhere in history humans learned to sparkle.

But then there’s Edward’s nemesis, Jacob.

Mister J…
Mister Jacob

Of course!

Plus Jacob hates Edward. And Mister J is part of a community that hates Edward as well. Plus we all know Mister J gets wet from Keith.

Keith → Beith → Beilh → Bellh → Bella!

So the conclusion: Mister J is a werewolf.

Feb 08, 2012 at 05:50PM EST
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RandomMan wrote:

I find something seriously wrong with this thread.

First let us counter your hypothesis: Mister J is a wolf.

This can’t be right. We’ll start of by using the wolf.

So currently we’re saying that Mister J is indeed a wolf and is surfing on the web. Wolfs obviously lack the brain power to do something like that.

That is a wolf paw. How the hell would Mister J be able to type like that, wolfs don’t have the movement in their “fingers” like humans do. If he was to type, he would hit at least 4 keys at the same time.

“But Random, you’re a bunny. That makes this argument invalid.”

Thought of that.

As you can see, my paws are a lot smaller, small enough to allow me to type. Plus I’m God tier, you don’t question my powers. All there is left for you to wonder about is the best way to obey me.

The arguments aren’t much, but they should proof enough.

Then there remains the question: What IS Mister J?

Based on a picture he posted before, we can confirm he’s human (somewhat). But yet, how he acts like an animal, it brings questions.

But we all know evolution can take strange turns. As we learned from Twilight where somewhere in history humans learned to sparkle.

But then there’s Edward’s nemesis, Jacob.

Mister J…
Mister Jacob

Of course!

Plus Jacob hates Edward. And Mister J is part of a community that hates Edward as well. Plus we all know Mister J gets wet from Keith.

Keith → Beith → Beilh → Bellh → Bella!

So the conclusion: Mister J is a werewolf.

Exactly. It doesn’t make sense that he can use the internet.

The more answers we get, the more questions pop up. This requires further investigation.

Feb 08, 2012 at 05:56PM EST
Quote

RandomMan wrote:

I find something seriously wrong with this thread.

First let us counter your hypothesis: Mister J is a wolf.

This can’t be right. We’ll start of by using the wolf.

So currently we’re saying that Mister J is indeed a wolf and is surfing on the web. Wolfs obviously lack the brain power to do something like that.

That is a wolf paw. How the hell would Mister J be able to type like that, wolfs don’t have the movement in their “fingers” like humans do. If he was to type, he would hit at least 4 keys at the same time.

“But Random, you’re a bunny. That makes this argument invalid.”

Thought of that.

As you can see, my paws are a lot smaller, small enough to allow me to type. Plus I’m God tier, you don’t question my powers. All there is left for you to wonder about is the best way to obey me.

The arguments aren’t much, but they should proof enough.

Then there remains the question: What IS Mister J?

Based on a picture he posted before, we can confirm he’s human (somewhat). But yet, how he acts like an animal, it brings questions.

But we all know evolution can take strange turns. As we learned from Twilight where somewhere in history humans learned to sparkle.

But then there’s Edward’s nemesis, Jacob.

Mister J…
Mister Jacob

Of course!

Plus Jacob hates Edward. And Mister J is part of a community that hates Edward as well. Plus we all know Mister J gets wet from Keith.

Keith → Beith → Beilh → Bellh → Bella!

So the conclusion: Mister J is a werewolf.

ahem…

Feb 08, 2012 at 06:00PM EST
Quote

RandomMan wrote:

I find something seriously wrong with this thread.

First let us counter your hypothesis: Mister J is a wolf.

This can’t be right. We’ll start of by using the wolf.

So currently we’re saying that Mister J is indeed a wolf and is surfing on the web. Wolfs obviously lack the brain power to do something like that.

That is a wolf paw. How the hell would Mister J be able to type like that, wolfs don’t have the movement in their “fingers” like humans do. If he was to type, he would hit at least 4 keys at the same time.

“But Random, you’re a bunny. That makes this argument invalid.”

Thought of that.

As you can see, my paws are a lot smaller, small enough to allow me to type. Plus I’m God tier, you don’t question my powers. All there is left for you to wonder about is the best way to obey me.

The arguments aren’t much, but they should proof enough.

Then there remains the question: What IS Mister J?

Based on a picture he posted before, we can confirm he’s human (somewhat). But yet, how he acts like an animal, it brings questions.

But we all know evolution can take strange turns. As we learned from Twilight where somewhere in history humans learned to sparkle.

But then there’s Edward’s nemesis, Jacob.

Mister J…
Mister Jacob

Of course!

Plus Jacob hates Edward. And Mister J is part of a community that hates Edward as well. Plus we all know Mister J gets wet from Keith.

Keith → Beith → Beilh → Bellh → Bella!

So the conclusion: Mister J is a werewolf.

You’ve forgotten one thing…!

MISTER J ISN’T A LESBIAN. HE CANNOT HAVE ANY CORRELATION WITH WEREWOLVES THROUGH YOUR LOGIC.

Feb 08, 2012 at 06:11PM EST
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RandomMan wrote:


That is a wolf paw. How the hell would Mister J be able to type like that, wolfs don’t have the movement in their “fingers” like humans do. If he was to type, he would hit at least 4 keys at the same time.

First of all, any dolt can see that that is not a wolf paw, but a lion’s paw. This hardly matters, however, because of my second point:

[photo:247121]

It seems silly to ask about how WOLVES (learn to spell!) could type when we see clearly that Strong Bad, who doesn’t even have fingers, is a very accomplished typist. (Furthermore, Homestar Runner has demonstrated the ability to type with no hands whatsoever!) This has been known since before your grandfather’s days:

Last edited Feb 08, 2012 at 07:53PM EST
Feb 08, 2012 at 07:49PM EST
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This thread presented so much logic I’m afraid I’ll wake up tomorrow as a wolf.

Feb 08, 2012 at 08:38PM EST
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Wsxdas Da Pimp wrote:

I’m not questioning it, I’m a god damned dinosaur.

How many time have I got to say it?

pteranodon =/= dinosaur

Feb 08, 2012 at 10:34PM EST
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Laser Pacer wrote:

Then who was Skitch?

Skitch = wolf
J = Keith = [Eastern] Basitin

KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE.

Feb 08, 2012 at 10:45PM EST
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@RandomMan

“So currently we’re saying that Mister J is indeed a wolf and is surfing on the web. Wolfs obviously lack the brain power to do something like that.”

“Wolfs obviously lack the brain power to do something like that.”

“Wolfs obviously lack the brain power.”

“Wolfs.”

Last edited Feb 09, 2012 at 04:57AM EST
Feb 09, 2012 at 04:55AM EST
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Anako wrote:

Problem solved.

Wolf propaganda! It’s a conspiracy, I tell you!

Feb 09, 2012 at 04:05PM EST
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This is quite possibly the most important update yet. I have discovered indisputable proof proving once and for all that he absolutely must be a wolf.

I rest my case.

Last edited Feb 09, 2012 at 04:36PM EST
Feb 09, 2012 at 04:36PM EST
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This user has been deactivated and their posts are no longer visible.

Feb 09, 2012 at 05:09PM EST

Philip J. Fry wrote:

This is quite possibly the most important update yet. I have discovered indisputable proof proving once and for all that he absolutely must be a wolf.

I rest my case.

Feb 09, 2012 at 09:39PM EST
Quote

Philip J. Fry wrote:

This is quite possibly the most important update yet. I have discovered indisputable proof proving once and for all that he absolutely must be a wolf.

I rest my case.

This user has been deactivated and their posts are no longer visible.

Feb 09, 2012 at 09:41PM EST

Philip J. Fry wrote:

This is quite possibly the most important update yet. I have discovered indisputable proof proving once and for all that he absolutely must be a wolf.

I rest my case.

Well shit.
I’ll go get the tranquilizer darts. I think I still have some left over from the Bear Incident.

Feb 09, 2012 at 09:42PM EST
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Philip J. Fry wrote:

This is quite possibly the most important update yet. I have discovered indisputable proof proving once and for all that he absolutely must be a wolf.

I rest my case.

THIS DOESNT LOOK SHOPPED: I CAN TELL FROM THE PIXELS AND FROM SEEING QUITE A FEW SHOPS IN MY DAY.

Feb 09, 2012 at 09:43PM EST
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This thread is… logical, very logical indeed.
Mister J, you cannot run from reality now! SEEK YOUR HEART, YOU KNOW IT TO BE TRUE.

And now…

… it’s time for grammar correction time!

RandomMan said:

The arguments aren’t much, but they should proof enough.
Aren’t much, but they should proof enough.
But they should proof enough.
Should proof enough.

Last edited Feb 10, 2012 at 07:00AM EST
Feb 10, 2012 at 06:48AM EST
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Skeletor-sm

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