After all that’s been happening, I have officially decided that Earth can go f*** itself. Rather than sticking/fixing our problems, I have decided to go and start a colony on Mars. In order to start this colony, I have decided to recruit the
retarded scientifically advanced community that is KYM.
Here’s the plan:
First, at 7:30 AM this coming Wednesday (at whatever timezone Nepal is in, sometime in Tuesday for the US) we are going to meet at the base of Mount Everest. We will head to the top at 7:45, whoever shows up after that will be left to be eaten by mountain lions.
Once we reach the top, we will wait for the moon to reach it’s closest position to the peak. Each of us will then jump to the moon. If you can’t make the jump, bring a pogo stick or a jetpack. If you still can’t make the jump, don’t bother coming. The gene pool will be better off without you. Speaking of gene pools, be sure to bring two members of the opposite sex with you.
Above: the moon
Once on the moon, we will wait until Mars is in closest proximity to the moon to make the next jump. We will set up some igloos, and I’ll bring my TV, Wii, and a copy of Wii sports (the normal one, I can’t afford Resorts).
Once we make the jump to Mars, I may or may not build a ladder or rope to Earth for those that couldn’t make it to come with us. We will then set up a capital, and make the first steps to creating the grand utopia of Muffinator Supreme. In Muffins we trust.
Here are the things you will need to bring:
Bagged lunches/dinners: Once we actually get to Mars, we can feast upon the aliens that we all know live on there. Until then, you live on your food. I’m not sharing.
Pogo stick/jetpack (optional): for those that can’t make the jumps on their own.
A space suit: It doesn’t anything fancy, just enough until we get there.
A ficus: We will each need to bring our own in order to create an oxygen supply, since our oxygen tanks won’t hold up forever.*
Two members of the opposite sex: We need a large diversity of genes in order for our colony to populate.
You can also bring your computers, TV’s etc. Once we get up there, I plan on making a satellite out of NASA’s robots to provide us with much needed internet. It’s not like they do anything useful anyways.