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The Corrupted Wish Game

Last posted Mar 26, 2012 at 07:50PM EDT. Added Mar 17, 2012 at 05:13PM EDT
266 conversations with 57 participants

HolyCrapItsBob wrote:

Done, but you’re not allowed to use them. (Also, you have to ruin the previous wish).


I wish I had a giant robot crab to take over the world with laser eyes, and missiles, and chain guns, and giant pincers, and a sandwich dispenser.

Granted.

  • The robot crab is an STI.
    • The laser eyes cause itching with the influence of the industrial revolution.
  • Missiles are heat seeking
    • The first thing they seek is the heat from the friction of you scratching the Industrial Revolution.
  • Chain guns are going off properly.
    • However, your fingers are scratching the Industrial Revolution, and the guns are following suit.
      • To your detriment. And to your kids’ preemptive death.
  • Giant pincers are no longer functional.
    • The sandwich dispenser happens to be a woman, and the woman takes offense to her role as a homemaker on an STI.
      • She makes use of the pincers to end the Industrial Revolution and to ensure abortion of any children you may have.

I wish for a basketball.

Mar 23, 2012 at 12:13AM EDT
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Done, but then a couple of guys who are up to no good start making trouble in your neighborhood. You get in one little fight and your mom gets scared and sends you off to live with your uncle in Bel-Air. You’re killed on the way there in a freak taxicab accident.


I wish I had a sandwich.

Running

Last edited Mar 28, 2013 at 10:50PM EDT
Mar 23, 2012 at 12:18AM EDT
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Done, but the Heavy ate half of it, and the other half went bad when the fridge wasn’t closed:


I wish I had an idea for something to wish for.

Last edited Mar 23, 2012 at 12:23AM EDT
Mar 23, 2012 at 12:22AM EDT
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You get an idea! You want to wish for Muffinator to secure his rightful spot as Supreme Dictator of the world.


I wish I wasn’t dead in the KYM Mafia game.

Mar 23, 2012 at 12:25AM EDT
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You get revived in the KYM Maffia Game, but to celebrate it, you are waaaaaaaaay too many muffins, causing you to become fat and unable to move for the rest of your life.


I wish to get Muffinator’s rightful spot as Supreme Dictator of the world.

Mar 23, 2012 at 05:43AM EDT
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Wish granted. Muffinator gets killed in the KYM Mafia game again, so that means you get the spot. But then, just as you were about to claim your throne I came out of nowhere and used my stare to get to the throne. You got killed by my stare, one third of all of Earth’s population are Weegees and/or a part of Weegonymous and ponies no longer dominate the internet.


I wish warcraftnerd never came to KYM.

Last edited Mar 23, 2012 at 07:15AM EDT
Mar 23, 2012 at 07:15AM EDT

Warcraftnerd is wiped from existence. But as always; another troll just like him simply takes his place.


I wish people would stop talking about Warcraftnerd since that was his ultimate goal from the beginning: to be remembered as KYM’s worst troll…then again, it seems he already won.

Mar 23, 2012 at 07:47AM EDT
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GRANTED THEY START TALKING ABOUT CREEPYPASTA
i wish i had every pokemon card

Mar 24, 2012 at 12:51AM EDT
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You have every Pokémon card.

Including Missingno. So…yeah…


I wish I was Missingno.

Mar 24, 2012 at 03:04AM EDT
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You become Missingno, however you discover that it is not all that great. You don’t get used by many trainers, you never win any battles and only the real hardcore poke-geeks seem to have any interest in you.

A very lonely Missingno are you


I wish for chocolate chip cookies

Mar 24, 2012 at 03:58AM EDT
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Blue Screen (of Death) wrote:

You become Missingno, however you discover that it is not all that great. You don’t get used by many trainers, you never win any battles and only the real hardcore poke-geeks seem to have any interest in you.

A very lonely Missingno are you


I wish for chocolate chip cookies

Granted, but they turn out to be transforming robots that eat you inside out
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I wish Cartoon Network Australia didnt suck as much as it does… fuckin take forevs to play new pokemon series… assholes…

Mar 24, 2012 at 06:19AM EDT
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It doesn’t suck anymore, but they now use subliminal messages to make everyone give them all their money, so you end up as an addict, poor and alone on the streets.


I wish that I can finally conquer this d*mn world.

Mar 24, 2012 at 10:36AM EDT
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Granted, but a Time Travelling Hipster stoped you… again.
I wish I could visit the universe of Rule 63.

Mar 24, 2012 at 10:43AM EDT
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You are taken into the gender-flipped world of Rule 63. Zelda is, in fact, a girl, and your why boners are even more why. You also begin to understand the discrimination towards women based solely upon their perceived gender, and you become confused as to how your attraction to a person is based solely upon their perceived nether regions and the existence of teh boobehs.

When you return, you become a radical feminist activist (nothing wrong with feminism, as I subscribe to it myself, but your extremism renders many of your arguments null,) and you are now sexually confused. Your get the Poor Health Outcome multiplier of x 2.5. You also get a feral monkey who likes clawing on your ear for no apparent reason.


I wish I had a cute monkeh.

Last edited Mar 24, 2012 at 12:48PM EDT
Mar 24, 2012 at 12:47PM EDT
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You get it, but it brutally kills you.
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I wish to have an infinite money bag.

Mar 24, 2012 at 12:54PM EDT
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Granted, but the flamethrower burns you.
I wish for a force field.

Mar 24, 2012 at 01:02PM EDT
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Granted, while flying, an airplane instantly kills you.
I wish I had immortality.

Mar 24, 2012 at 01:40PM EDT
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You get immortality, but it causes you to die.
Problem, reality?


I wish to win ALL the games on Steam.

Mar 24, 2012 at 01:43PM EDT
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Granted, but you have a debt of $1000000 from Games you didn’t know are paid.

I wish to have a robot dog that won’t excrete anything.

Mar 24, 2012 at 02:46PM EDT
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You now have a robot dog but it has rabies and it has a very bad habit of biting you.

I wish i had lazer beam eyes.

Mar 24, 2012 at 02:54PM EDT

Here ya go ^^

Just a small note: he’ll get killed as soon as you grow attached to him.


I wish to be more known on this forum.

Mar 24, 2012 at 02:56PM EDT
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And then Root was Thomas Nair.


I wish I was the president of Antarctica.

Mar 24, 2012 at 03:10PM EDT
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Done, but then all of the penguins rebel and start a new socialist penguin government.

I wish I was a male model.

Mar 24, 2012 at 03:41PM EDT
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Yes you are a manwhore but at a terrible cost…you are now FRENANDO THE MALE MODEL MANWHORE!


I wish i could spit supa hot fire!

Mar 24, 2012 at 03:53PM EDT

You being a Spy, catch yourself and your fellow Spies on fire, leaving Pyros like me to not even bother having to Spy Check.


I wish I had an old NES in working condition with all the Classic Megaman games in working condition.

Mar 24, 2012 at 04:16PM EDT
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You get them and they are working, but explode after playing 5 minutes.


I wish to not blink.

Mar 24, 2012 at 04:22PM EDT
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Nice wish. I got the collection of NES games for that reason. Too bad it’s on the Gamecube.

Unfortunately, you need time to play those games. And as you get older in school, you begin to focus more on getting into college by doing extracurriculars, actually trying to make sure you get good grades, and finding decent letters of recommendation for your applications. You get to college and realize that you need to put in some effort in studying and you begin to make friends with brains that you actually want to make relationships with instead of just passing the time with.

And after you get out of school, you’re just working most of the time. You’ll never have a lot of time to play through all of the games like you want without the constant threat of being interrupted by life.
 
*Speaking from experience.


Leaving that there for Pyro.

@Root

…It turns out that eyes can dry out. It’s actually rather painful.


I wish I had the lack of responsibility I had when I was in high school for about a month.

Last edited Mar 24, 2012 at 04:25PM EDT
Mar 24, 2012 at 04:24PM EDT
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Congratulations, you are now free! Unfortunately, you spend all your time screwing around on KYM. Who needs a social life anyways?


I wish this PC wasn’t such a piece of s***.

Last edited Mar 24, 2012 at 04:27PM EDT
Mar 24, 2012 at 04:26PM EDT
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It’s piss instead. Happy?


I wish that all my work for today was done so I wouldn’t be procrastinating by sitting here.

Mar 24, 2012 at 04:28PM EDT
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You are teleported into the TF2 universe where you are killed over and over again by Pyro.

I wish I could count to potato.

Mar 25, 2012 at 02:09AM EDT
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The number 3 is changed to “potato”

Computer systems around the world run into NaN errors and crash as a result. The entire economy collapses


I wish the music I listen to was easily found in stores so I don’t have to suck up to iTunes.

Mar 25, 2012 at 02:30AM EDT
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Granted, but its 500 times more expensive than buying them on iTunes, also the audio sucks.

I wish for a Shin Cosplay (Hokuto Musou Version)

Last edited Mar 25, 2012 at 03:20AM EDT
Mar 25, 2012 at 03:17AM EDT
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I have no idea who this Shin dude is, so I just search it on Google and leave this here…

I Wish I could understand the Touhou Project.

Last edited Mar 25, 2012 at 01:13PM EDT
Mar 25, 2012 at 01:12PM EDT
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You get to understand it, but it’s so weird that it destroys your sanity, and you are imprisoned for trying to murder every Japanese you meet.


I wish for an ARPG game that’s >9000 times better than Diablo 3, and easily moddable.

Mar 25, 2012 at 01:33PM EDT
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Granted, but it crashes and breaks your console/computer.
I wish for a house that wouldn’t get trespassed and destroyed.

Mar 25, 2012 at 01:40PM EDT
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EP73 wrote:

Granted, but it crashes and breaks your console/computer.
I wish for a house that wouldn’t get trespassed and destroyed.

It was the previous residency of a hoarder, and you get trapped between piles of half eaten cheetos bags, issues of Time magazine stacked 3 metres high, and a constantly squishy feeling with each step which may or may not have something to do with the fact that the previous owner kept about 5 dogs in here.

I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons, in a land apart.

Mar 25, 2012 at 02:41PM EDT
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You jump off a cliff and pretend you’re flying with dragons. You fall to your death.


I wish that I had a fuck to give.

Last edited Mar 25, 2012 at 02:45PM EDT
Mar 25, 2012 at 02:44PM EDT
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Sandstone wrote:

You jump off a cliff and pretend you’re flying with dragons. You fall to your death.


I wish that I had a fuck to give.

You try to give it to a little girl, and are promptly arrested for attempted sexual assault of a minor.

I wish the Electoral College exploded.

Last edited Mar 25, 2012 at 03:24PM EDT
Mar 25, 2012 at 03:23PM EDT
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It explodes, but you were standing next to it to watch its destruction.


I wish….. for ponies.

Mar 25, 2012 at 03:28PM EDT
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It’s G3. Thanks a lot, f*cktard.


I wish that Chris Hansen didn’t pop up at every CP thread on 4Chan.

Mar 25, 2012 at 03:32PM EDT
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He doesn’t, but now 4Chan is renamed 5Chan and /b/ is twice as bad.


I wish to be able to enter any fictional universe I wish to enter.

Mar 25, 2012 at 03:48PM EDT
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Shade, that’s a bad thing to happen to /b/ how?


They all kill you on sight when you get there.


I wish I had enough money to make it rain, like Lil Wayne.

Last edited Mar 25, 2012 at 03:50PM EDT
Mar 25, 2012 at 03:50PM EDT
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it rains acid.
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I wish For a black hole to appear

Mar 25, 2012 at 03:52PM EDT
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Tag CO Powers suck.


I wish I had a theme song.

Mar 25, 2012 at 05:08PM EDT
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It sucks and people hate all that is associated with it. Ergo, you.


I wish for another Shotgun that ISN’T for the Soldier as well.

Mar 25, 2012 at 05:18PM EDT
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You get your own shotgun. The tf2 community then proceeds to call it unfair and overpowered. Everyone hates you much more now, and medics refuse to heal you altogether.


I wish I had a new battery for my laptop.

Last edited Mar 25, 2012 at 05:24PM EDT
Mar 25, 2012 at 05:22PM EDT
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You do now but the second you grab it it spits out battery acid and burns your hand.

I wish i could fly.

Mar 25, 2012 at 08:07PM EDT
Skeletor-sm

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