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TF2: Meet the Pyro soon?

Last posted Jun 23, 2012 at 10:25PM EDT. Added Jun 20, 2012 at 11:12PM EDT
59 conversations with 20 participants

there have been rumors that at the end of this month, or maybe on friday, the video of “Meet the Pyro” get released

what i have noticed is that there was a ninja update yesterday and today and that on friday is gonna be another big update patch. also that every item that is being found are weird things like a banana peel, goldfish and a cheese roll

not sure if all of this is true, but everyone keeps talking that Meet the pyro come soon

anyone have some info about it?

Jun 20, 2012 at 11:12PM EDT
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My question regarding this update is, what will these crafting items be used for? I have 5 lint and a goldfish and I don’t know what to do with them.

Jun 20, 2012 at 11:28PM EDT
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Apparently all the weird new items have something to do with it, though its hard to see how. Each one seems worthless (Pocket lint, Goldfish, Banana peel, cheese wheel) but their descriptions all try to instill the same aura of mystery, implying that they are related.

Someone already related each piece to a reference. Implying that the items are promotional

The new items are common as well, hours after downloading the update I got 3 pieces of lint and a cheese wheel

I also hear that the new items are grafting ingredients but nobody knows what they craft right nnow. I would love to know what I can make about of my 3 pocket lints

Jun 20, 2012 at 11:29PM EDT
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You just opened Pandora’s Explosive Lasers’ Box, son.

The items that drop have all had long descriptions (relatively) with capitalized words that have been speculated to add up to something. Furthermore, wearing certain items changes the descriptions to make a quote from Sherlock Holmes: “Think of the deeds of hellish cruelty, the hidden wickedness which may go on, year in, year out, in such places, and none the wiser.”

Furthermore, people have been speculating with Abraham Lincoln (considering that he was the Pyro on the original merc team), and have realized that the train carrying his remains caught fire, there was a statue of him made completely of cheese (its head was knocked off), he likely had lint in his pocket at his death, he had a horse (barn door plank), and the broken capacitator has wording on its surface that has been translated to make ‘Abe’. So, there’s a lot of speculation.

Beyond just Meet the Pyro, people have been speculating on Mann Vs Machine being the update. It’s a theory that people had made over time about an update involving robots to some degree, like a survival mode or just a different team to fight against. Lots of theories on it. This is somewhat supported with the Broken Capacitator, in a way.

Personally, I’m sticking by the theory that its just Valve throwing something in so the update on Friday can be the 300th update, and the items are just stuff they threw in that has no purpose. Which is kinda funny, since people have bought Secret Diaries for buds, one of the most valuable items in the game.

Jun 20, 2012 at 11:35PM EDT
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Someone said that by putting all the items together, you get a very rare item that is supposed to be very very special, but no one has done it yet. Only 6 of the diaries are in existance.

Jun 20, 2012 at 11:36PM EDT
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creeeeak
Heeeeeeeeere’s PYRO!
@Lasers
Don’t forget Foundry. If you switch to spectator mode on Foundry, you can zoom around the map. In one of the team’s spawn rooms there’s a Soldier guarding a door. Go in there and you’ll find a Heavy and a Scout in front of drying photographs. The photographs depict a metal-plated figure shaped like the Heavy. Further robot references include a can in the back of one of the trucks, which is labeled TOBOR, robot spelled backwards.

Jun 21, 2012 at 01:07AM EDT
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Yeah, I heard about it comming up pretty soon, along with “The Saxy Awards” and a new update. All it said was that it was going to be early in the Summer.

Also, the Pyro should totally be a girl.

Last edited Jun 21, 2012 at 01:09AM EDT
Jun 21, 2012 at 01:08AM EDT
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@Pyro:

Also, there have been ‘tobor’ additions to the change logs, codes, etc. for a while. I think it’s kind of Valve leading us along, though. It’s gotten to the point where AI fixes with the word ‘bot’ in them get labeled as MvM hints.

@Maki:

Women have diaries…

Men have journals.

Pyro iz gurl cunfirmd!

Jun 21, 2012 at 01:13AM EDT
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@Pyro being a woman

Your move

Last edited Jun 21, 2012 at 01:28AM EDT
Jun 21, 2012 at 01:28AM EDT
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Sandstone wrote:

@Pyro being a woman

Your move

Oh hey, looking at it closer, the purse is above the Pyro’s uniform. So yes it could be anyone’s, but it would most likely be his/hers

And I’m not saying the Pyro is a girl, but I’m not saying its a boy either, I just think it would be pretty neat of Valve to do this considering there are so many people who like the idea of Pyro being a girl. It’d be a little “Wink Wink” “Nudge Nudge” at the fandom.

Last edited Jun 21, 2012 at 01:43AM EDT
Jun 21, 2012 at 01:41AM EDT
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…its a joke I use whenever someone pulls out “The Pyro is a GIRL” thing. Mostly because it sort of irritates me that people think that the majority of people think Pyro is a girl. Its about half-and-half. So yeah, its a bit finiky for me.
@Lasers
There’s also the matter of that “Alarm-o-Tron 5000” board.
Some of the alerts line up funny, one of them being:
RED Pyro
Is a man
Is a woman
Is a robot
Dammit, I knew Valve was going to pull something like this. They did it with Portal 2, they’ll do it here. STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD

Jun 21, 2012 at 01:46AM EDT
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Believe me, Lasers, he’s all man…every inch of him….
(InB4 someone draws/writes MoonXPyro R34/clopfic. Which I totally don’t want to happen at all, nope)
But anyways, it does look like there’s going to be something huge coming up. Probably not next friday, but most likely something they’ve been building up to. Definatly looks like a huge update of some kind. Looking forward to it.

Last edited Jun 21, 2012 at 02:07AM EDT
Jun 21, 2012 at 02:05AM EDT

Sandstone wrote:

…its a joke I use whenever someone pulls out “The Pyro is a GIRL” thing. Mostly because it sort of irritates me that people think that the majority of people think Pyro is a girl. Its about half-and-half. So yeah, its a bit finiky for me.
@Lasers
There’s also the matter of that “Alarm-o-Tron 5000” board.
Some of the alerts line up funny, one of them being:
RED Pyro
Is a man
Is a woman
Is a robot
Dammit, I knew Valve was going to pull something like this. They did it with Portal 2, they’ll do it here. STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD

Sounds all to familiar to me.

Jun 21, 2012 at 10:20AM EDT
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If you people actually think Meet the Pyro is going to confirm anything on the Pyro’s identity, the words I have to say aren’t very polite and I will refrain from doing so.

Jun 21, 2012 at 10:26AM EDT
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Hey Pyro, maybe KYM could make a Gmod video with you in it, slap a label on the video saying “Meet the Pyro” and upload it to youtube?

Jun 21, 2012 at 10:44AM EDT
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Okay, new development in some of the useless items.
Go to “crafting”
go to the purple star option
attempt to craft two bananas
Result will be something labeled “Banana Error #8” and display some text written in spanish (At least it looks like spanish)
My dick brother finally did something decent for once and tried it. He wrote down what it said and will probably attempt to translate it. If any of you have multiples of items, try to craft all the different combinations and see what the results are. I’ll try to get the results of the translation as soon as possible.
EDIT
opspe found a screencap of the error and translated it. Here’s what it says:
“Banana Overflow Error; Detailed Report”
The top section is Spanish, the bottom is Finnish
The weird code is still unknown.

Last edited Jun 21, 2012 at 08:05PM EDT
Jun 21, 2012 at 07:58PM EDT
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I think I may have a theory on why these items were selected. This is entirely guesswork, but hear me out.

Y’know how sometimes, people who are insane often form a connection with inanimate objects (e.g. Ratman from Portal with the Companion Cube)? Well, what if the Pyro somehow has a connection with these things, and they play some kind of role in Meet the Pyro?

It’s just a guess, but it’s all I can make out of these weird items.

Jun 21, 2012 at 10:05PM EDT
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Sandstone wrote:

Okay, new development in some of the useless items.
Go to “crafting”
go to the purple star option
attempt to craft two bananas
Result will be something labeled “Banana Error #8” and display some text written in spanish (At least it looks like spanish)
My dick brother finally did something decent for once and tried it. He wrote down what it said and will probably attempt to translate it. If any of you have multiples of items, try to craft all the different combinations and see what the results are. I’ll try to get the results of the translation as soon as possible.
EDIT
opspe found a screencap of the error and translated it. Here’s what it says:
“Banana Overflow Error; Detailed Report”
The top section is Spanish, the bottom is Finnish
The weird code is still unknown.

Perhaps this is a play at where the Pyro is from? I could see the Pryo being from Finland or Mexico.

Jun 21, 2012 at 10:15PM EDT
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William Schnell wrote:

I think I may have a theory on why these items were selected. This is entirely guesswork, but hear me out.

Y’know how sometimes, people who are insane often form a connection with inanimate objects (e.g. Ratman from Portal with the Companion Cube)? Well, what if the Pyro somehow has a connection with these things, and they play some kind of role in Meet the Pyro?

It’s just a guess, but it’s all I can make out of these weird items.

Frayed ends of sanity, feel them callin’, feel them calling me

Why am I always thinking of Metallica anymore?

Jun 21, 2012 at 10:33PM EDT

Accually, BREAKING NEWS! Files have been found that can relate to the Easter eggs left in the foundry map, which are that the pictures are in fact what appear to be robot like classes in design! Even more exiting ,they found text/speech files for unlabeled entities in the tf2 console!

UPDATE!! Robots are theorized to be added to the game under each variety
-Robot classes, some large, some small
-Robots might be part of an arena type game mode, such as this:

-Robots get bigger as levels pass, but upgrades to your character can be achieved. (unknown source)
-New items, possibly new sets, and hats, duh) expected.
-Hints to the pyro’s identity possibly leaked
-using futuristic weapon sets such as Grogbert pack might impact robot game mode.

update coming 6.22.12

Jun 21, 2012 at 11:24PM EDT
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Heavy Weapons wrote:

Accually, BREAKING NEWS! Files have been found that can relate to the Easter eggs left in the foundry map, which are that the pictures are in fact what appear to be robot like classes in design! Even more exiting ,they found text/speech files for unlabeled entities in the tf2 console!

UPDATE!! Robots are theorized to be added to the game under each variety
-Robot classes, some large, some small
-Robots might be part of an arena type game mode, such as this:

-Robots get bigger as levels pass, but upgrades to your character can be achieved. (unknown source)
-New items, possibly new sets, and hats, duh) expected.
-Hints to the pyro’s identity possibly leaked
-using futuristic weapon sets such as Grogbert pack might impact robot game mode.

update coming 6.22.12

Once again:

Jun 21, 2012 at 11:50PM EDT
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Heavy Weapons wrote:

Accually, BREAKING NEWS! Files have been found that can relate to the Easter eggs left in the foundry map, which are that the pictures are in fact what appear to be robot like classes in design! Even more exiting ,they found text/speech files for unlabeled entities in the tf2 console!

UPDATE!! Robots are theorized to be added to the game under each variety
-Robot classes, some large, some small
-Robots might be part of an arena type game mode, such as this:

-Robots get bigger as levels pass, but upgrades to your character can be achieved. (unknown source)
-New items, possibly new sets, and hats, duh) expected.
-Hints to the pyro’s identity possibly leaked
-using futuristic weapon sets such as Grogbert pack might impact robot game mode.

update coming 6.22.12

I will now stay up all night waiting for the update.

Jun 22, 2012 at 12:26AM EDT
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The banana errors decoded reveals this:

So, people are speculating that the Pyro is Poopy Joe, a monkey astronaut. It’s somewhat plausible with cybernetic enhancements, the effects of Australium, and the possibilities of a life extension machine, but many people think otherwise, as it’s generally hinted that Poopy Joe is dead.

I think Poopy Joe was sent up on one of the rockets Hale was using to get rid of incriminating evidence (i.e. deadly new ordinance) in the WAR! comic, he also mentions a monkey and a senate investigation (most likely the one in the image). He wound up giving a lot of the stuff to Helen, the Administrator, but a few rockets carrying the Gordbort weaponry crashed a while later. At the time, Pyro was with Engie, so it’s unlikely he was involved with the rockets. Furthermore, he was already hired, which helps rule out the possibility that he is Poopy Joe.

Jun 22, 2012 at 01:18AM EDT
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Explosive Lasers AKA Solaire AKA Sexiest wrote:

The banana errors decoded reveals this:

So, people are speculating that the Pyro is Poopy Joe, a monkey astronaut. It’s somewhat plausible with cybernetic enhancements, the effects of Australium, and the possibilities of a life extension machine, but many people think otherwise, as it’s generally hinted that Poopy Joe is dead.

I think Poopy Joe was sent up on one of the rockets Hale was using to get rid of incriminating evidence (i.e. deadly new ordinance) in the WAR! comic, he also mentions a monkey and a senate investigation (most likely the one in the image). He wound up giving a lot of the stuff to Helen, the Administrator, but a few rockets carrying the Gordbort weaponry crashed a while later. At the time, Pyro was with Engie, so it’s unlikely he was involved with the rockets. Furthermore, he was already hired, which helps rule out the possibility that he is Poopy Joe.

TF2 has a more complex cannon than CoD.

And its strictly Multiplayer.

Jun 22, 2012 at 01:40AM EDT
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Explosive Lasers AKA Solaire AKA Sexiest wrote:

The banana errors decoded reveals this:

So, people are speculating that the Pyro is Poopy Joe, a monkey astronaut. It’s somewhat plausible with cybernetic enhancements, the effects of Australium, and the possibilities of a life extension machine, but many people think otherwise, as it’s generally hinted that Poopy Joe is dead.

I think Poopy Joe was sent up on one of the rockets Hale was using to get rid of incriminating evidence (i.e. deadly new ordinance) in the WAR! comic, he also mentions a monkey and a senate investigation (most likely the one in the image). He wound up giving a lot of the stuff to Helen, the Administrator, but a few rockets carrying the Gordbort weaponry crashed a while later. At the time, Pyro was with Engie, so it’s unlikely he was involved with the rockets. Furthermore, he was already hired, which helps rule out the possibility that he is Poopy Joe.

Poopy Joe was supposedly killed by Mann Co. and never went into space. It’s where Soldier got the Equalizer and Buff Banner and Demoman got the Eyelander, through “entirely innocent circumstances”.
Or something.
This game is silly.

Jun 22, 2012 at 01:58AM EDT
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CitationNeeded wrote:

Poopy Joe was supposedly killed by Mann Co. and never went into space. It’s where Soldier got the Equalizer and Buff Banner and Demoman got the Eyelander, through “entirely innocent circumstances”.
Or something.
This game is silly.

(From the Wiki)

Poopy Joe was a monkey astronaut who tragically died in an explosion before taking off, caused by Mann Co. in their unsuccessful attempt to rid themselves of weapons involved in a Senate investigation. Mann Co. took no blame for his death, and actually created commemorative plates that remembered Poopy Joe and America’s dream of conquering space. These plates were actually hints of the then-upcoming War! Update, depicting the Eyelander, Equalizer and Buff Banner’s bugle.
Jun 22, 2012 at 02:13AM EDT
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Sandstone wrote:

(From the Wiki)

Poopy Joe was a monkey astronaut who tragically died in an explosion before taking off, caused by Mann Co. in their unsuccessful attempt to rid themselves of weapons involved in a Senate investigation. Mann Co. took no blame for his death, and actually created commemorative plates that remembered Poopy Joe and America’s dream of conquering space. These plates were actually hints of the then-upcoming War! Update, depicting the Eyelander, Equalizer and Buff Banner’s bugle.

Yes, thank you for repeating what I just said.

Jun 22, 2012 at 03:09AM EDT
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CitationNeeded wrote:

Yes, thank you for repeating what I just said.

Then don’t sound like a confused fuckwad.
As for the dialogue itself, its odd that they link something that doesn’t have any connection to the current speculation with robots. Knowing Valve, there’s some kind of cipher or code hidden in the script. Unless weapons weren’t the only thing being carried on that rocket…

Jun 22, 2012 at 03:13AM EDT
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Pyro wrote:

Then don’t sound like a confused fuckwad.


Well that was uncalled for.

Jun 22, 2012 at 03:19AM EDT
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Both of you just be quiet and get along.
Now Lasers, this sounds like this is leading to Hale trying to continue keeping the Poopy Joe incident under wraps. Most likely through the use of force, which may or may not involve building robots to attack the people who know. Although Pyro’s theory has some merit, it doesn’t look like there’s any code hidden in there. Either way, this looks to be a promising update story.

Jun 22, 2012 at 03:24AM EDT

Sandstone wrote:

Okay, new development in some of the useless items.
Go to “crafting”
go to the purple star option
attempt to craft two bananas
Result will be something labeled “Banana Error #8” and display some text written in spanish (At least it looks like spanish)
My dick brother finally did something decent for once and tried it. He wrote down what it said and will probably attempt to translate it. If any of you have multiples of items, try to craft all the different combinations and see what the results are. I’ll try to get the results of the translation as soon as possible.
EDIT
opspe found a screencap of the error and translated it. Here’s what it says:
“Banana Overflow Error; Detailed Report”
The top section is Spanish, the bottom is Finnish
The weird code is still unknown.

I just tried this myself with a pair of my banana peels (I got a ton of these to spare so I can afford to experiment) .

I got the exact same result you described, a spanish error message and absolutely nothing in return.

However I’m not sure if it has anything to do with this whole mystery theme that Valve has got going right now. It could just be a regular old bug due to the items being new and no crafting properties have been officially designated to them.

In other words Valve didn’t leave another clue to speculate on, they just screwed up. But time will tell.

Jun 22, 2012 at 03:39AM EDT
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Blue Screen (of Death) wrote:

I just tried this myself with a pair of my banana peels (I got a ton of these to spare so I can afford to experiment) .

I got the exact same result you described, a spanish error message and absolutely nothing in return.

However I’m not sure if it has anything to do with this whole mystery theme that Valve has got going right now. It could just be a regular old bug due to the items being new and no crafting properties have been officially designated to them.

In other words Valve didn’t leave another clue to speculate on, they just screwed up. But time will tell.


Scroll up a couple posts to Explosive Lasers’, brah.

Jun 22, 2012 at 03:42AM EDT
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Oh that’s what that was about?

I really shouldn’t skim posts.

Still, there doesn’t appear to be an inherent use for all these items other than unraveling some sort of mystery and that’s been making trade really interesting lately.

People are collecting these items just because of the mystery surrounding them despite having the value of common household dust.

I promised myself I wouldn’t buy, nor sell the junk items until I fully understood their purpose but just recently a guy offered me a Machina, a Nessies 9 Iron and 1 scrap for a barn door plank and a cheese wheel…SOLD!

I always wanted a Machina

Jun 22, 2012 at 04:03AM EDT
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Blue Screen (of Death) wrote:

Oh that’s what that was about?

I really shouldn’t skim posts.

Still, there doesn’t appear to be an inherent use for all these items other than unraveling some sort of mystery and that’s been making trade really interesting lately.

People are collecting these items just because of the mystery surrounding them despite having the value of common household dust.

I promised myself I wouldn’t buy, nor sell the junk items until I fully understood their purpose but just recently a guy offered me a Machina, a Nessies 9 Iron and 1 scrap for a barn door plank and a cheese wheel…SOLD!

I always wanted a Machina

Shit, I had to craft my own.
You lucky bastard.

Jun 22, 2012 at 02:31PM EDT
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Blue Screen (of death) wrote:

I promised myself I wouldn’t buy, nor sell the junk items until I fully understood their purpose but just recently a guy offered me a Machina, a Nessies 9 Iron and 1 scrap for a barn door plank and a cheese wheel…SOLD!
I always wanted a Machina


Ugh. You could have gotten both of those weapons for 2-4 scrap.
You really shouldn’t have traded that stuff off.

Jun 22, 2012 at 02:54PM EDT
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Holy crap. Someone on Reddit (I think he’s also on KYM…his username is Nintendork64) thought up an amazing theory on what these items will do. He said, and I quote:

“You don’t suppose this will be a Multi-part update, do you?

Day 1: Damaged Capacitor. Happens on 6/22, 15:00. The Mann Vs. Machine mode arrives.

Day 2: Pocket Lint. Hats and clothes for the various classes? Maybe some Sherlock Holmes/mystery based stuff?

Day 3: Banana Peel. A Grortbort set comes out, tying into the transcript, and including the helmet mentioned in it.

Day 4: Barn Door Plank. A new barn or countryside-based map is released, one which involves horses (as mentioned in the barn door plank description)

Day 5: Cheese Wheel. Steam and TF2 come out for Linux (Cheese is a Linux-only program).

Day 6: Goldfish. The 2nd annual Saxxy Awards are released, the missing Australium from the story is found.

Day 7: Secret Diary. Meet the Pyro is finally released. In it, we see the Pyro looking through his/her diary and the story is told through corresponding flashbacks of the Pyro’s life and how s/he became obsessed with pyrotechnics.

This is all wild speculation, of course, but these items must have some connection… Plus, there are 7 items, one for each day of the week."

…wow.

Jun 22, 2012 at 03:28PM EDT
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William Schnell wrote:

Holy crap. Someone on Reddit (I think he’s also on KYM…his username is Nintendork64) thought up an amazing theory on what these items will do. He said, and I quote:

“You don’t suppose this will be a Multi-part update, do you?

Day 1: Damaged Capacitor. Happens on 6/22, 15:00. The Mann Vs. Machine mode arrives.

Day 2: Pocket Lint. Hats and clothes for the various classes? Maybe some Sherlock Holmes/mystery based stuff?

Day 3: Banana Peel. A Grortbort set comes out, tying into the transcript, and including the helmet mentioned in it.

Day 4: Barn Door Plank. A new barn or countryside-based map is released, one which involves horses (as mentioned in the barn door plank description)

Day 5: Cheese Wheel. Steam and TF2 come out for Linux (Cheese is a Linux-only program).

Day 6: Goldfish. The 2nd annual Saxxy Awards are released, the missing Australium from the story is found.

Day 7: Secret Diary. Meet the Pyro is finally released. In it, we see the Pyro looking through his/her diary and the story is told through corresponding flashbacks of the Pyro’s life and how s/he became obsessed with pyrotechnics.

This is all wild speculation, of course, but these items must have some connection… Plus, there are 7 items, one for each day of the week."

…wow.

I have my doubts, but I damn sure wish what you’re saying is whats happening, plus more.

Jun 22, 2012 at 03:36PM EDT
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If you equip the “eliminating the impossible” set items the descriptions on the other items change.

Last edited Jun 22, 2012 at 05:18PM EDT
Jun 22, 2012 at 05:17PM EDT
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Yeah, Falcon. That one item set for the Medic that includes the Private Eye and the Nine-Pipe Problem. Put all the changed descriptions together and you get a quote from a Sherlock Holmes book:
“Think of the deeds of hellish cruelty, the hidden wickedness which may go on, year in, year out, in such places, and none the wiser.”
I’m not sure how it ties into all of this, but I’m definatly looking forward to it.

Jun 22, 2012 at 05:20PM EDT

Back Later wrote:

Yeah, Falcon. That one item set for the Medic that includes the Private Eye and the Nine-Pipe Problem. Put all the changed descriptions together and you get a quote from a Sherlock Holmes book:
“Think of the deeds of hellish cruelty, the hidden wickedness which may go on, year in, year out, in such places, and none the wiser.”
I’m not sure how it ties into all of this, but I’m definatly looking forward to it.

I got it.

Pyro is Satan.

Jun 22, 2012 at 05:31PM EDT
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angstyHoodie OPERATOR wrote:

I got it.

Pyro is Satan.

Well that would explain this:

Jun 22, 2012 at 05:39PM EDT
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Something just appeared on the Tf2 blog:
“Mmm Mmmph!
June 22, 2012 – The Pyro

Mmmmph mmmmph, mmmmm mmmmmp mmmmmph. Mmmmmph mpm! Mmmmmph mph mm! Hm mmmmmph, hmmmmph mm mmmmmph mmmmmph! "

….DAMMIT VALVE!

EDIT: Someone translated it in morse, using the long mphs as dashes and the short mphs as dots, and it translates to “MONDAY”.

Last edited Jun 22, 2012 at 06:10PM EDT
Jun 22, 2012 at 05:59PM EDT

Nintendork64 wrote:

Something just appeared on the Tf2 blog:
“Mmm Mmmph!
June 22, 2012 – The Pyro

Mmmmph mmmmph, mmmmm mmmmmp mmmmmph. Mmmmmph mpm! Mmmmmph mph mm! Hm mmmmmph, hmmmmph mm mmmmmph mmmmmph! "

….DAMMIT VALVE!

EDIT: Someone translated it in morse, using the long mphs as dashes and the short mphs as dots, and it translates to “MONDAY”.

So meet the pyro comes out on monday then? It’s settled now.

Maybe it will be finally worth the weight…

Jun 22, 2012 at 07:03PM EDT
Skeletor-sm

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