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Assimilation

Last posted Aug 19, 2012 at 08:22PM EDT. Added Aug 15, 2012 at 01:11AM EDT
269 posts from 32 users

LES DO DIS

oops…


Im sure that planet wasnt important.

Last edited Aug 15, 2012 at 11:35PM EDT
Aug 15, 2012 at 11:33PM EDT
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>Boarding crew on vessel “UNKNOWN” appears to have been ignored.
>Moving to Assimilate Crew
>Moving to Assimilate Ship

Aug 15, 2012 at 11:34PM EDT
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All the Pathfinders at once: [VGS] Shazbot!
All the Pathfinders at once: Did they just destroy an entire world?

Doctor: I suppose that would work, if you could hit with it…

(The Doctor has destroyed planets before, for the sake of the universe. That’s the reason why he’s not taking a really negative approach to such attempts at overkill.)

Last edited Aug 15, 2012 at 11:38PM EDT
Aug 15, 2012 at 11:36PM EDT
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A miss!

All ships, fire at the cube with energy weapons only!

Captain Picard, I need a direct line to Commander LaForge!

Commander, the Doctor says that the cube will only be affected by energy weapons. We need to rotate phaser frequencies until we find the most effective one. I’m sending you a list of frequencies to try now. Broadcast the frequency when you find a sweet spot.

Aug 15, 2012 at 11:38PM EDT
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(The next mass driver salvo basically pings off of the shields)

(Depending on what exactly, the shield does, the effects differ. But hopefully some damage must have been dealt…?)

Aug 15, 2012 at 11:40PM EDT
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The Borg wrote:


>Boarding crew on vessel “UNKNOWN” appears to have been ignored.
>Moving to Assimilate Crew
>Moving to Assimilate Ship

These damn robots are on my ship. Good thing ive dealt with robots before.

Aug 15, 2012 at 11:40PM EDT
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Tahrdan Ismeh Wu-Temporis wrote:

… Are they seriously sending boats and planes after space ships?

And the least logical decision award goes to….

[in space…]

Doctor: [scanning the tear to try and find a way of closing it]

Someone needs to brush up on their Scientology.

Godspeed you magnificent bastards.

Aug 15, 2012 at 11:40PM EDT
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Dammit, I knew we shouldn’t have trusted those E.V.E Online ships from the beginning, they just went and got themselves assimilated.

And get that Doctor the hell out of here, do you people have idea what would happen if he got assimilated!?

If the Borg assimilated the Doctors infinite knowledge of the universe and manipulative powers of time and existence, EVERY UNIVERSE IN EVERY EXISTENCE IS UTTERLY AND ROYALLY SCREWED!

Aug 15, 2012 at 11:43PM EDT
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Screw it. Time for my Trump Card. I who stand in the full light of the heavens command the, who opens the Gates of Hell!

Send forth Divine Lightning!

This Ends Now! INDIGNATION!

Aug 15, 2012 at 11:46PM EDT
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(Before Natsuru’s Post) Starfleet, where’s our backup? We’re up against the wall here! we need help now!

(After)

Captain… You need to see this. Putting it onscreen now.

Dear God…

Persona.

Last edited Aug 15, 2012 at 11:51PM EDT
Aug 15, 2012 at 11:47PM EDT
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Blue Screen (of Death) wrote:

Dammit, I knew we shouldn’t have trusted those E.V.E Online ships from the beginning, they just went and got themselves assimilated.

And get that Doctor the hell out of here, do you people have idea what would happen if he got assimilated!?

If the Borg assimilated the Doctors infinite knowledge of the universe and manipulative powers of time and existence, EVERY UNIVERSE IN EVERY EXISTENCE IS UTTERLY AND ROYALLY SCREWED!

Dear Omnissiah… the taint of the borg has spread to far… this battle is irredeemable now. Ime afraid theres no other way

Aug 15, 2012 at 11:49PM EDT
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…I have no idea what that just was, but I don’t think it’ sgoing to work.

The target. is. in. SPACE.

[in space…]

Pathfinders: Deploy the turrets!

Doctor: [still scanning the tear]

Aug 15, 2012 at 11:50PM EDT
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Yukari grabs me Well, fuck this. Back to my dimension.

Is pulled into Portal with Yukari and portal closes

Last edited Aug 15, 2012 at 11:57PM EDT
Aug 15, 2012 at 11:57PM EDT
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404 user not found wrote:

Dear Omnissiah… the taint of the borg has spread to far… this battle is irredeemable now. Ime afraid theres no other way

RIP EVERYONE

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 12:00AM EDT
Aug 15, 2012 at 11:58PM EDT
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“Xenu cares not for cowards! Press home the attack! I want to see that cube blown into a million smaller cubes!”

Aug 16, 2012 at 12:00AM EDT
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Natsuru Springfield wrote:

Screw it. Time for my Trump Card. I who stand in the full light of the heavens command the, who opens the Gates of Hell!

Send forth Divine Lightning!

This Ends Now! INDIGNATION!

Aug 16, 2012 at 12:03AM EDT
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ExudesAffluence wrote:

“Xenu cares not for cowards! Press home the attack! I want to see that cube blown into a million smaller cubes!”

What cube? I just called an exterminatus on this whole thread. Actually how are we even talking about this?

unless…

fuck.

I really have to stop doing that…

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 12:09AM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 12:04AM EDT
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‘kay, Starfleet Command appears to have changed into generic narrator, so I’ll take that really quick.

Voyager, Enterprise, this is Starfleet Command. The fleet is enroute, ETA 3 minutes. Contact the Berlin, it’s leading the taskforce.

Joint Universe Fleet, this is the USS Berlin leading Taskforce Gamma. We are approaching your position, hold on.

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 12:08AM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 12:07AM EDT
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(Starfleet has not even given out attack orders yet and already all the EVE and Mass Effect ships are destroyed, half the KYM users are assimilated and the Warhammer universe ships incompetently caused more damage than the Borg.)

(Star Trek Universe ships right now:)

Aug 16, 2012 at 12:12AM EDT
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I know the perfect thing to destroy the Borg.

Aug 16, 2012 at 12:13AM EDT

Blood Eagle Pathfinders: Awaiting orders, to destroy that cube for the Tribe!

Diamond Sword Pathfinders: We must destroy that cube. Awaiting orders!
One Blood Sword Pathfinder: GOTTA GO FAST!.
Other Pathfinders: ……

Aug 16, 2012 at 12:15AM EDT
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OK GUYS, I GOT IT THIS TIME! instead of using the nova cannon I’l use my giant space lasers. They can kill planets too!

Actually… What doesnt kill planets on this thing? You’d think they’d know betting considering how inaccurate this thing is.

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 12:17AM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 12:16AM EDT
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Blue Screen (of Death) wrote:

(Starfleet has not even given out attack orders yet and already all the EVE and Mass Effect ships are destroyed, half the KYM users are assimilated and the Warhammer universe ships incompetently caused more damage than the Borg.)

(Star Trek Universe ships right now:)

>Starfleet hasn’t answered for a day or so
>Janeway and Picard are the only two Starfleet Captains there
>The Borg know that Janeway and Picard are there

Of course they’re going to ignore Starfleet.

Aug 16, 2012 at 12:16AM EDT
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The Gray Horde will assist you, Borg.

We just gotta wait 45 minutes for the blasted match to start.

Aug 16, 2012 at 12:16AM EDT
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Blue Screen (of Death) wrote:

Dammit, I knew we shouldn’t have trusted those E.V.E Online ships from the beginning, they just went and got themselves assimilated.

And get that Doctor the hell out of here, do you people have idea what would happen if he got assimilated!?

If the Borg assimilated the Doctors infinite knowledge of the universe and manipulative powers of time and existence, EVERY UNIVERSE IN EVERY EXISTENCE IS UTTERLY AND ROYALLY SCREWED!

Wow that my clone right now took longer then usual, our conscious just jump to medic clones in my universe so as long as the clones are fine we’re fine, but they Assimilation clones you saw and they have our ships, Untill we can prepare for another attack you’re going to have to-
CONSCIOUS INTERGRATED! ASSIMILATION COMPLETE! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 12:21AM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 12:17AM EDT
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Muffins wrote:

The Gray Horde will assist you, Borg.

We just gotta wait 45 minutes for the blasted match to start.

“Commence spawn camping. I don’t want those damn hunks of metal causing any trouble.”

Aug 16, 2012 at 12:24AM EDT
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>
>
>SYSTEMS ONLINE
>Initiation routine 1668.8 21:27 15/08/2012
>
>
>Progress has been made by the Collective.
>All enemy vessels will be assimilated.
>
>Warning: Threat detected.
>
>Designation: Species 11259. Time Lord.
>Binary vascular system. Redundant nervous system. Concentrated chroninton particle density within body.
>Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own.
>Resistance is futile.

Aug 16, 2012 at 12:33AM EDT
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FIRE THE ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT CANNONS!


FUCK YEAH I HIT HIM!

By the way you should probably close that tear faster. If you think these robots are bad you should see the ones we have to put up with in the Imperium.

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 12:51AM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 12:49AM EDT
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>Scanning enemy communications.
>
>Self diagnostic.
>63% Operational
>
>Plantetoid colony “60’s New York” 63% Assimilated
>Vessel designate “UNKNOWN” 3% Assimilated
>



>Assimilation Commenced


>Tractor beam activated.
>Tractor Locked “Medical Officer”
>
>Resistance is Futile.

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 01:02AM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 01:01AM EDT
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Captain Picard, we need to disable the tractor beam, they’ve got the Doctor! Is there a system we can hit?

Aug 16, 2012 at 01:03AM EDT
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Twilitlord wrote:

Captain Picard, we need to disable the tractor beam, they’ve got the Doctor! Is there a system we can hit?

“We’ve only got one chance. Leave this one to me. Hubbard Squadron, on me!”

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 01:09AM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 01:08AM EDT
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shit better call for back up…
>ANGRY MARINE BATTLE BARGEMAXIMUM FUCKREPORTING IN TO WHUP YOUR PAZY FUCKING ASSES YOU SHIT FACE METAL FUCKERS!

Dont worry about me guys im going to go out the only way i know how… in a blaze of glory!

HOLD BACK THE BORG!
VOID SHIELDS UP TO MAX!
ENGINES FULL RAMMING SPEED!
ALL WEAPONS FIRE!
AIM FOR THE TRACTOR BEAM!
IM TAKING YOUR SHINY METAL ASSES WITH ME!

(just so you guys know void shields are so strong it takes days or even weeks of constant bombardment for either side to make a dent in them in 40k ship battles, and can even crush chunks of planets they touch if activated to close to them. Warhammer OP. Amirite?)

(PS. a Battle barge is pretty much the biggest ship in the imperial navy and will fuck up an entire planets shit by itself, plus its full on space marines)

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 01:24AM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 01:17AM EDT
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Then suddenly

CHAOS MARINES!

The dark strings of the nether lord are pulling you in, you cannot escape his temptation!

Aug 16, 2012 at 01:29AM EDT
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>Warning: Detection of mass weapons fire.
>Assimilated Dalek Technology unabl-
>
>DAMAGE REPORT
>
>21% DESTROYED
>30% Damaged
>49% Operational
>
>Tractor beam failed
>Reinitializing tractor beam
>Tractor operational
>
>
>COLLISION DETECTED
>Vessel designate “MAXIMUM FUCK” will collide in approximately 3 minutes.
>Calculating
>
>Cube: 100% CHANCE OF DESTRUCTION
>“Medical Officer”: 100% CHANCE OF DESTRUCTION
>“UNKNOWN”: 73% CHANCE OF DESTRUCTION
>“SR-2”: 39% CHANCE OF DESTRUCTION
>“NCC-1701: USS ENTERPRISE”: 87% CHANCE OF DESTRUCTION
>“NCC-74656: USS VOYAGER”: 93% CHANCE OF DESTRUCTION
>
>Planetoid “KYM”: 99% CHANCE OF WIDESPREAD BORG DEBRIS
>Planetoid “KYM”: 99% CHANCE OF CONTINUED ASSIMILATION

Aug 16, 2012 at 01:39AM EDT
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DETONATE THE WARPDRIVES WHERE TAKING EVERYONE WITH US! THERE WONT BE ANYTHING LEFT TO ASSIMILATE!

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 01:52AM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 01:49AM EDT
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Its to late, the assimilation cant be stopped, Leviathan has arrived on our doorstep, and chaos has spread its taint to holy Terra! THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO TO STOP THE COMING DELUGE BUT ERADICATE THEM ALL HERE AND NOW!
BY THE WILL OF THE HOLY INQUISITION AND THE UNDYING EMPEROR I SENTENCE THE EARTH TO EXTERMINATUS AND WITH IT BILLION INNOCENT SOULS TO DEATH!

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 02:13AM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 01:59AM EDT
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>Resources expendable.
>
>
>
>Initiate exterminatus.
>May the emperor have mercy on our souls.

Aug 16, 2012 at 01:59AM EDT
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Maybe you don’t understand.
Once someone brings up Warhammer 40K everything else is basically microscopic and pathetic in comparison.

The only thing that can beat Warhammer is Warhammer.

Aug 16, 2012 at 02:09AM EDT
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Vikingbolt wrote:

>Resources expendable.
>
>
>
>Initiate exterminatus.
>May the emperor have mercy on our souls.

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 02:14AM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 02:11AM EDT
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>COLLISION DETECTED
>Vessel designate “MAXIMUM FUCK” will collide in approximately 2 minutes 26 seconds.
>
>Scanning communications…
>
>Reference “Exterminatus”
>
>
>
>UNKNOWN.

Aug 16, 2012 at 02:16AM EDT
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Skeletor-sm

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