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Assimilation

Last posted Aug 19, 2012 at 08:22PM EDT. Added Aug 15, 2012 at 01:11AM EDT
269 conversations with 32 participants

Yes, the Imperium wins!
Wait… is that, NO WAY!


Officer Samuel Motherfucking L. Motherfucking Jackson!?

We are boned, dead, screwed, game over man, game over!

Aug 16, 2012 at 02:21AM EDT
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Vikingbolt wrote:

Yes, the Imperium wins!
Wait… is that, NO WAY!


Officer Samuel Motherfucking L. Motherfucking Jackson!?

We are boned, dead, screwed, game over man, game over!

We already died on the other page when the MAXIMUM FUCK exploded everyone into vapor. Well those that didn’t run through the dimensional anomaly anyway, including all the bad guys.

Samuel MOTHERFUCKING L. Jackson is a true G, so its no wonder we survived the Exterminatus. BLAM HERESY!

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 02:42AM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 02:27AM EDT
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>Incorrect
>Vessel designate “MAXIMUM FUCK” will collide in approximately 1 minutes 44 seconds.

Aug 16, 2012 at 02:41AM EDT
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The Borg wrote:

>Incorrect
>Vessel designate “MAXIMUM FUCK” will collide in approximately 1 minutes 44 seconds.

Nigga you cant tell me when i blow up my own ship. I blew that ship up a full page ago go check.

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 02:45AM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 02:43AM EDT
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lands on Borg ship using Mega’s spaceship.
A small step for me, and a giant leap for-
starts slapping Borg like a total hooligan.

Aug 16, 2012 at 02:52AM EDT

>Vessel designate “MAXIMUM FUCK” will collide in approximately 1 minutes 29 seconds.
>
>
>Mutual destruction is ensured.
>
>
>You may… Assist Us.

Aug 16, 2012 at 02:58AM EDT
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Well, looks my contractual obligation with Paramount has come up.

Computer, engage self-destruct.

Aug 16, 2012 at 11:09AM EDT
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I have lowered My Defenses.
I shall Assist
Code name G.O.D. (Genocide Objective Device) Activated.
As long as I get to rule over this world I shall assist you with everything I got.
I shall assist with My Epyon Units

Aug 16, 2012 at 02:53PM EDT
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Ann Hiro wrote:

I have lowered My Defenses.
I shall Assist
Code name G.O.D. (Genocide Objective Device) Activated.
As long as I get to rule over this world I shall assist you with everything I got.
I shall assist with My Epyon Units

bitch dey gon blow up.

Aug 16, 2012 at 03:08PM EDT
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All allied ships, this is Commander William T. Riker of the U.S.S. Titan.

The cavalry has arrived.

Aug 16, 2012 at 03:23PM EDT
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ooh jeez

Aug 16, 2012 at 03:35PM EDT

But you see…
You didn’t expect Borg Technology to boost my Hypnosis Abilities Miss. Springfield.
What you you blew up was just a large Asteroid.

Aug 16, 2012 at 03:36PM EDT
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This is Captain Picard. My engineer has found a way to get rid of the enemy. Once the Doctor opens this pan-dimensional portal, we can use the entire assembled force to push them into the portal using a projected warp wave fired from our phaser banks. We merely need to expand the portal’s aperture so that the Borg ships can fit through.

Doctor, when will the portal be ready? We haven’t much time!

(@ANN: That was a cube, nigga. If you’re not going to play this game fairly, don’t play at all.)

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 03:40PM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 03:38PM EDT
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Doctor: You don’t need to talk to me about time! I’ve got all the time in the Universe! And I’ve bene trying to close the tear…

Aug 16, 2012 at 03:39PM EDT
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Puts on tinfoil hat
Can’t control my mind when I’m wearing a tinfoil hat

Begins bitch slapping Ann

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 03:43PM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 03:41PM EDT
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Fridge Logic wrote:

This is Captain Picard. My engineer has found a way to get rid of the enemy. Once the Doctor opens this pan-dimensional portal, we can use the entire assembled force to push them into the portal using a projected warp wave fired from our phaser banks. We merely need to expand the portal’s aperture so that the Borg ships can fit through.

Doctor, when will the portal be ready? We haven’t much time!

(@ANN: That was a cube, nigga. If you’re not going to play this game fairly, don’t play at all.)

yes then tell Natsuru not to have power levels beyond imagination.

Aug 16, 2012 at 03:43PM EDT
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Tahrdan Ismeh Wu-Temporis wrote:

Doctor: You don’t need to talk to me about time! I’ve got all the time in the Universe! And I’ve bene trying to close the tear…

Look,

You may have all the time in the world, but I only have five minutes until my shields go down and my ship is blown to bits. So when I say I need that portal up as soon as possible, I mean as soon as possible. Alright?!

Aug 16, 2012 at 03:46PM EDT
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Ann Hiro wrote:

yes then tell Natsuru not to have power levels beyond imagination.

You’re not even using your imagination, you’re just trying to issue a cheap cop-out that a five year old would attempt.

That was a cube. You’ve been crippled, but you can still recover. Be realistic.

Aug 16, 2012 at 03:48PM EDT
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“Sir We have sustained damage”
“Well how much?” Ann shouted
“about 19%”
“Well that’s not good, my policy is take to almost no damage at all.”
“Sir…”
Ann uses his hypnotism on the crew member
“Get everything ready.”


I’m bad at Si-fi roleplays….
Plus every role play I enter with hypnotism. this has not been questioned until now.

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 04:13PM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 03:55PM EDT
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This is the Minmatar FC,

Our fleet has reached your system and we’re now defending the Cube and attacking StarFleet.

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 04:28PM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 04:23PM EDT
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>tfw people try to blow up the spaceship that you and Mega are on

Aug 16, 2012 at 04:30PM EDT

>
>Assistance Detected.
>
>Maneuvering thrusters online, target planetoid “KYM


>Broadcast
> All Ships
>
>Mutual destruction is ensured.
>
>We are the Borg. Target ship designate “MAXIMUM FUCK”.
>Collision detected in 1 minute.
>
>


>Broadcast
>Assimilated Vessels
>
>Maneuvering thrusters online
>Target Planetoid “KYM
>
>Landing calculated
>Impact calculated
>
>Cube will remain 28% operational.
>Assimilation ensured.
>
>We are the Borg. Resistance is futile

Aug 16, 2012 at 05:45PM EDT
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Well, whaddaya know. The ship didn’t actually explode.

Just like every other time you activate the self-destruct, Ca-

NEELIX I SAID SHUT UP

You’re just in time, Commander. Our shields are taking a beating. Decks 4 through 7 have hull breaches, we’ve got the emergency force fields up but the warp core can only keep these power levels up for so long. It’s a good thing we’ve got you now. Make sure to use only phasers, the Borg have adapted a technology that will make them impervious to kinetic damage.

Aug 16, 2012 at 05:59PM EDT
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“I think I’ve figured out how we can take down their shields.”

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 06:18PM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 06:15PM EDT
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>Entering planetoid orbit designate “KYM”.
>
>Collision with ship designate “MAXIMUM FUCK” remains plausible.

Aug 16, 2012 at 06:56PM EDT
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They blew up condescending astronaut! He’ll never condescend again…those bastards.

Will the MAXIMUM FUCK please hurry up and collide with that damn cube already. I thought Warhammer ships were powered by the forces of hell, what’s it running on? Coal?

Last edited Aug 16, 2012 at 08:39PM EDT
Aug 16, 2012 at 08:37PM EDT
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THEY’RE CHANGING COURSE! TURN AFTER THEM! TUN AFTER THEM!
WHEN WE HIT DETONATE THE WARP CORE, WE’RE GONNA VAPORIZE THEM AND THE SURFACE OF THAT PLANETOID!

Aug 17, 2012 at 12:58AM EDT
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You…

You mean the planetoid we’re on?

Just… want to be clear here…

Aug 17, 2012 at 01:34AM EDT
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[suddenly, a large grey spherical object appears through the tear. It has what looks liek a face with a large moustache on one side.]

Pathfinders: What is that?

Doctor: Another reason for me to get this tear closed!

Aug 17, 2012 at 06:48AM EDT
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Oddly enough, a Blue Whale and a bowl of petunias suddenly emerges from the tear.

Aug 17, 2012 at 12:16PM EDT
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Pathfinders: …What was that?
Amy: Doctor, do you see this?

Doctor: Just got to close this tear…

(In the 2005 christmas special, the Doctor implies that he’s met Arthur Dent. Hence the lack of surprise.)

[A massive army of robots leaves the grey spherical object, many have grey heads, red bodies with yellow triangles painted near the heads, with the lower body being black, have jetpacks, and laser guns. Except for one, which pilots a grey craft with a black bottom and a light on the front. The other robots are red, with wings and jets instead of a body, and a gun attached. They all have grins permanently o ntheir faces.]

[A voice from the grey spherical object is heard from every forms of communication…]

???: GET A LOAD OF THIS!

Aug 17, 2012 at 12:22PM EDT
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>
>Preparing to enter upper atmosphere
>
>Cube will enter upper atmosphere in approximately 9 HOURS 3 MINUTES
>
>Cube entering upper atmosphere will ensure Assimilation
>Collision with ship desigante “MAXIMUM FUCK” will ensure planetoid destruction
>Planetoid destruction is a MISSION FAILURE CONDITION

Last edited Aug 17, 2012 at 02:14PM EDT
Aug 17, 2012 at 02:14PM EDT
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>
>Preparing to enter upper atmosphere
>
>Cube will enter upper atmosphere in approximately 3 MINUTES
>

Aug 17, 2012 at 11:12PM EDT
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…You know what, fuck this.

If this is still going on, I might as well delay it.

(produces Flamethrower)

(Airblasts the Borg Cube one AU away… somehow. Don’t ask.)

Last edited Aug 17, 2012 at 11:14PM EDT
Aug 17, 2012 at 11:14PM EDT
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>
>Entering upper atmosphere.
>Collision with planetoid designate “KYM” anticipated.
>
>Cube will remain 28% operational.
>
>Local biological and technological distinctiveness will be Assimilated.

Last edited Aug 17, 2012 at 11:52PM EDT
Aug 17, 2012 at 11:45PM EDT
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You know what… I have an insane plan.

(stands in Ponyville, watching the Cube as it falls)

(The sole item in his hand… a Home Run Bat)

C’mon. Get over here.

Last edited Aug 17, 2012 at 11:49PM EDT
Aug 17, 2012 at 11:49PM EDT
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WE MUST CALL THE 4 GIANTS!

I play the Oath to Order!

Last edited Aug 17, 2012 at 11:52PM EDT
Aug 17, 2012 at 11:50PM EDT
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Oh my, they went for the ponies.

Now shit is gonna get done.

[Lol, edit, cause I just noticed Sparty’s flamethrower in the corner, and found that hilarious for no apparent reason.]

Last edited Aug 17, 2012 at 11:56PM EDT
Aug 17, 2012 at 11:54PM EDT
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>Large UNKNOWN ENTITY detected bearing NORTH
>
>Large UNKNOWN ENTITY detected bearing EAST
>
>Large UNKNOWN ENTITY detected bearing SOUTH
>
>Large UNKNOWN ENTITY detected bearing WEST
>
>
>PROXIMITY ALERT
>
>FORWARD MOMENTUM CEASED
>CAN NOT COMPLY
>
>

Last edited Aug 18, 2012 at 12:34AM EDT
Aug 18, 2012 at 12:34AM EDT
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Skeletor-sm

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