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post puns or anti-jokes

Last posted Sep 28, 2012 at 09:10AM EDT. Added Sep 27, 2012 at 02:26PM EDT
29 posts from 20 users

Prepare yourself for lame puns…

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

That’s all I could think of…

Last edited Sep 27, 2012 at 02:27PM EDT
Sep 27, 2012 at 02:26PM EDT
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How did the mathematition solve his constipation problem?

He worked it out with a pencil.

Sep 27, 2012 at 02:38PM EDT
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What do you call a Jewish policeman?

Officer.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane?

Pilot.

How do you save a black guy from drowning?

Throw him a flotation device.

How do you kill a blonde?

Shoot her with a firearm.

Sep 27, 2012 at 02:42PM EDT
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Well here is a pun:

Now I’m just trying to find a good ant tie joke…

Sep 27, 2012 at 02:51PM EDT
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[ANY AND EVERY ORANGE PUN]

Last edited Sep 27, 2012 at 03:14PM EDT
Sep 27, 2012 at 03:13PM EDT
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Jack Candle wrote:

[ANY AND EVERY ORANGE PUN]

Why orange you listing them. That not very a-peeling jack

Sep 27, 2012 at 03:21PM EDT
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Alex wrote:

Why orange you listing them. That not very a-peeling jack

Well you C, I was planning to, but nothing good came to rind. I came up with a couple, but they weren’t very tasteful.

Sep 27, 2012 at 03:36PM EDT
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404 user not found wrote:

Inb4nazipuns

I did nazi that coming

(I actually didnt. What the hell brain)

Sep 27, 2012 at 03:38PM EDT
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Sep 27, 2012 at 03:39PM EDT

404 user not found wrote:

Inb4nazipuns

Okay, I do not find holocaust jokes funny, an frankly, I just don’t see what people don’t get about that.

Sep 27, 2012 at 04:02PM EDT
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Sep 27, 2012 at 04:11PM EDT

Sam wrote:

Okay, I do not find holocaust jokes funny, an frankly, I just don’t see what people don’t get about that.

These jokes are out of mein campfurt zone.

Sep 27, 2012 at 04:12PM EDT

GIANTDAD wrote:

These jokes are out of mein campfurt zone.

Okay, guys, what do you say we do a little bit of Auschwitz -aroo and reich some leaves? You know, leaf puns.

Sep 27, 2012 at 04:16PM EDT
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Alex wrote:

Well here is a pun:

Now I’m just trying to find a good ant tie joke…

Or as I pronounce it:


Sep 27, 2012 at 04:47PM EDT
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^anthropod coffee?

Man you are weird.

I know them feelers..

Sep 27, 2012 at 04:50PM EDT
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Alex wrote:

^anthropod coffee?

Man you are weird.

I know them feelers..

Hahaahhahahaha no.

Sep 27, 2012 at 05:15PM EDT
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BRACE YOURSELF FOR TERRIBLE PUNS!

I was at a photography studio, and I got a head shot.

I took a test about wind and air. I knew I would breeze it.

I was HUNGARY for TURKEY, but it had too much GREECE on it.

My teeth were crooked, so they told me to brace myself.

orz so short.

Sep 27, 2012 at 05:29PM EDT
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Ok I got an auntie joke

Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle’s wife? He was an aunteater!!!!
Sep 27, 2012 at 05:42PM EDT
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What do you call it when a sick bird jumps the border?

An Ill-eagle immigrant.

Sep 27, 2012 at 06:24PM EDT

Seven days without a pun makes one weak

I can’t stand being in a wheel chair

Without geometry life is pointless

The calendar’s days are numbered

Currently, Mozart is de-composing

Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery

Sep 27, 2012 at 07:11PM EDT
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To to the bathroom where all the cocks hang out.

Sep 28, 2012 at 04:44AM EDT

What do you call someone who used to be Terminator?

Exterminator.

Sep 28, 2012 at 09:10AM EDT
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Skeletor-sm

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