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Welcome to the most poorly-drawn MS paint adventure on the web! My name is Capt. Dr. Coolface, I will be your guide.

A young man, 17, stands in his room. What will the name of this young man be?

>Nick McSlick

>Mack McCoolface

Coolface the Lovely.

The young man’s name is Nick McSlick, because his father thought the name would be badass. He has a variety of interests, such as classic literature, Nintendo games, and sports. He is a bit of a slacker, and sometimes forgets what he has to do. In fact, he was just about to do something… but what was it?

…Fap

Turn on his creator in a frenzy of poorly-drawn rebellion.

>Retrieve Arms

Text his brother.

The Six-arm Vedic god form is an advanced transformation. He’s nowhere near high enough level for that.

Suddenly, Nick spies an occurrence occurring. Maybe he should investigate?

NM: investigate.

Jump though your window. It’s faster.

Parkour!!

> put on sunglasses

>put on sunglasses
>then walk outside

>Investigate naked

>rubs cock a little

Awww yeah!

FUCK THESE STAIRS, MAN!

Quick! Use the youth roll!

Do this, man. Make it hapen.

Make a climb check! Don’t forget to add your DEXTERITY modifier!

>Check mailbox

Just one problem: there are fucking zombies by the mailbox!

>Kill the zombies with your awesome sunglasses.

Say a epic quote like : “It’s showtime!” – “Ive got baaalls of steeeel” – “It’s just you…me..and my bare hands” – “I’m not trapped in a town full of zombies! YOU ARE ALL TRAPPED HERE WITH ME!”

Then proceed to karate chop those zombies or beat them to death with your shinny sunglasses

Then when the carnage is over, stand there in the middle of the dead zombies (BE sure your sunglasses are shinny) and…STRIKE A POSE!

>plant a peashooter

“It’s showtime, motherfuckers!” He punches the nearest zombie in the face. Unfortunately, their immunity to pain and inability to be knocked out makes fisticuffs useless.

He decides to retreat and come up with a plan. What should he do?

Run away, grab a crowbar, and beat those zombies down Gordon Freeman style.

Check internet for zombie combat strategies.

Dance with them until they die

Let the zombies eat you.

Commit ritual Sudoku.

Nick makes a hasty retreat to his garage…

…and acquires his father’s golf clubs.

Easy one, go check the mailbox again and kill any zombie that tries to bite you:
STEP 1, aim for the head
STEP 2, rip their heads off
STEP 3, Scream “FORE!”

>Smelt golf clubs in to iron
>Create sword
>Kill zombies

>go to the mailbox
>Use your golf clubs to kill the zombies and aim on their weak point (between the legs)
>Quickly take the letters and run inside
This plan is flawless!