A box of chewing gum… Time to freshen your breath to death!
Uhmmm, death by tails doll?
My old gameboy advance sp…
YOU CANNOT GRASP THE TRUE FORM OF RETRO… GAMING!?…
TAKE THIS, MY LOVE, MY ANGER AND ALL MY SORROW!
why do i keep leaving this beside me
Before you get the wrong idea…. its on the roll bar thingy. PREPARE TO DIE.
Feel the terror… OF READING!
If you move an inch i divide by zero.
I’ll papercut you to death.
Prepare to be combed to death
Prepare to be gored!
Chokity chokity choke choke choke.
A 2-liter bottle of Pepsi.
It’s pretty blunt…
You guys aint got shit on my desk lamp!
Owned by my avaya phone:
Cheep plastic gonna break on your head like glass.
A calculator… Well, I guess i could bore you to death by making you solve math problems
I have a dictionary. Come at me bro.
no games, no loss if it breaks over your head
A vtech phone. Take the phone and call everyone in the phone book.
I’m going to make your ears bleed with this generation’s music!
You gunna die, son.
A metal ladder.
Which I probably can’t even lift. Shazbot.
The last ever issue of Nintendo Power.
If you have a proper childhood, this should do massive damage to your feels.
As it turns out, it would have no effect.
You’d probably win anyway, as… still that ladder.
A pencil. Enjoy being a writer.
Push this over onto you.
I know it works because 95% of Otaku Deaths are caused by their Manga Pile falling on them. >_>
The other 5% is getting your spine broken by a glomp at a convention. xD
Meanwhile, in my room:
You gun’ be sodomized to death, boi.
Prepare to face the wrath of my bed.
STAINS AND ALL!
(FYI: They’re from me drooling when I sleep, you perverts.)
A coffee cup. I could use it as a club and fill it with fresh and steaming coffee and make you drink it all so it will burn your tongue.
A USB drive.
You’re entering a world of pain, my friend.
Too bad that my Kitchen is on my right. Oh well, at least I have a fork.
Shit, that would only heal you!
I’ll fix you to death.
Okay, I’ll be honest, it’s a Foam Katana with some kind of hard bit inside it. So I’m essentially going to Bludgeon ya’ll asses.
Still, it only says “Defeat” last time I checked. And I’m certain that if by defeat, you mean “defeat in a kendo match”, then I’d at least have a chance, cause I’d be quite good at it if everyone I knew wasn’t a cheater at it.
Edit: And since my opponent is a wrench… I’ve kinda got the reach advantage until they throw it, in which case, I can just go back to Bludgeoning with an incredibly ineffective weapon.
Still that ladder!
A wall made of white cinder blocks
I hate white walls
Needs more crimson
A Calvin and Hobbes book…?
IT’S PAPER CUT TIME!!!!
Mexican Fanta soda bottle
Son, this bottle gonna stab through your chest over and over till your wasted
Prepare your anus.
Bah! The mighty Coolface needs no weapons save his fists and his blazing courage!
Nonetheless, a cassette tape is too unusual weapon to resist using, so I shall smite you down with it.
Aha! For once my water bottle is NOT to my left! And I have something far more appropriate in its place! Prepare to be assaulted by my…
WALLET! EFTPOS CARD SHURIKEN ATTACK GO!
…sigh…fine I’ll get the water bottle.
Meanwhile my leatherman knife is a little further to my left. If only I left it closer
Nothing on your left can fix the Blue Screen of Death! NOTHING! Abandon hope and reset your computer!
Your empty threats are as empty as this statement is redundant! Prepare to feel my wrath!
I will unleash the power of…
My pet cats.
A book with a large 3 on it’s cover.
I was holding a glass beer bottle in my left hand when I read the thread title. Come at me bro.
Bitch, who needs bullets when you have darts?
Time for the classic game of “Who’s first?”.