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Help the Homeless Hairless Hobo Soldier

Last posted Jan 04, 2013 at 11:18PM EST. Added Nov 22, 2012 at 09:31PM EST
152 conversations with 23 participants

>Haircut? Well, he should go to:

>Or just give him his Minigun that is deviously hiding in plain-sight and not just sitting out in the open.

>Actually, just lead him to Soldier’s Manncuts.

Last edited Nov 29, 2012 at 07:45PM EST
Nov 29, 2012 at 07:43PM EST
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Double Spark wrote:

Becouse:
>Since we are meeting the RED team and Merasmus is not around, HHH Soldier doesn’t have to worry a lot
>Almost every BLU is dead…almost….dun dun duunn
However..you are damn right, I need to start making that kind of pictures again

“Help my friends! Heavy lost something!”
“What? Who knows? He told me nothing!”

Dear Bilbo Baggins, his haircut…What should I do?

*SOONER OR LATER, YOU WILL START TO MISS THE OPTION TO BEG TO MERASMUS.
*Give him a haircut
*Search that something
*Make your choice!

[Bombinomicon isn’t dropping clues on this one becouse, c’mon guys, It’s so easy! If you look closely at CENSORED

>Go get that minigun in the back center and bring it to heavy

Nov 29, 2012 at 07:53PM EST
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Lone K.K. Slider wrote:

>Haircut? Well, he should go to:

>Or just give him his Minigun that is deviously hiding in plain-sight and not just sitting out in the open.

>Actually, just lead him to Soldier’s Manncuts.


Before posting I was thinking:“No, don’t put the option haircut, they will jump with the Manncuts video”. That was PREDICTABO (yes, predictabo, predictable for those who don’t know who is Geese Howard)

Anyways, back to HHH soldier!


“Trying to jump this would be suicide!”
“Maybe we should jump from another side?”

“And if that eye-thing sees you, it’s your end my dear hobo friend..” said the Spy.
“Why I feel there’s something out of place?” said the Soldier.

Now what if…?

*Yes I know mortals, you are wondering…why can’t I beg to Merasmus?
*Err…Fix your hat…yeah…useless choises are useless
*Make your own choise buddy!

[Hey buddy! Bombinomicon here! Call me if ya need help with dis one!]

Last edited Nov 29, 2012 at 10:04PM EST
Nov 29, 2012 at 10:03PM EST
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>Ask spy for knife if he has one
>Drop knife down hole towards monoculus
>If that doesn’t work ask bombinomicon

Last edited Nov 29, 2012 at 10:18PM EST
Nov 29, 2012 at 10:18PM EST
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Captain Douglas J Falcon wrote:

>Ask spy for knife if he has one
>Drop knife down hole towards monoculus
>If that doesn’t work ask bombinomicon


That could work!

“And so the MONOCULUS unique’ eye”
was stabbed with a knife from the spy!"

“Good job! Now I guess we could just jump and get the minigun.”

[Beg to Merasmus should be here but IT’S NOT! MUAHAHA]
*Jump and get Sasha
*Another choise?Make your own!

[Bombinomicon isnt dropping clues on this one]

Last edited Nov 30, 2012 at 08:36PM EST
Nov 30, 2012 at 08:36PM EST
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>Use medic’s, heavy’s, and spy’s bodies as a bridge to walk across and get sasha

Last edited Nov 30, 2012 at 08:55PM EST
Nov 30, 2012 at 08:42PM EST
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>Save the spy from that sniper! Jump in front of the bullet…oh wait that’s a Machina, that wouldn’t work…um…

>Push Spy into the hole….to save him from the sniper!

Nov 30, 2012 at 10:00PM EST
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Wait a minute, that knife was the Your Eternal Reward!
He killed the MONOCULUS! with one stab…
>Spy’s MONOCULUS! disguise deploys, scaring that BLU Sniper in the top left corner of the picture.

(And you said that all the BLU were dead! [Oh, you!])

Dec 01, 2012 at 01:56AM EST
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Lone K.K. Slider wrote:

Wait a minute, that knife was the Your Eternal Reward!
He killed the MONOCULUS! with one stab…
>Spy’s MONOCULUS! disguise deploys, scaring that BLU Sniper in the top left corner of the picture.

(And you said that all the BLU were dead! [Oh, you!])


Here’s your cookie, we will continue with HHH soldier adventure but first…


You claimed that I said that all BLUs were dead?
I present this piece of evidence coming from this very thread!

As you can see, I said that *almost*every BLU were dead, NOT all BLUs!
Alright, shall we get back to HHH Soldier?


And so the spy scared the sniper
who seems to need a new diaper!


“Now with the sniper gone, there’s nothing that can stop us from getting the Minigun from the heavy right?” said the spy
I dunno, I guess..

*Still missing me? -Merasmus the magician
*we could have a tea party.
*another choise lads? Make your own and let’s see what happends!

Last edited Dec 01, 2012 at 07:18PM EST
Dec 01, 2012 at 07:17PM EST
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Soldier, you must sacrifice yourself for the team…

>Jump towards the platform, pull the Minigun and hold it, fall through the “bottomless” pit, and escape through the secret window that shoots you out onto the control point.

>Tell the Medic your “last” words as he kneels before your body: Heal me, doctor…

Dec 01, 2012 at 08:53PM EST
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All right, since everyone wants to see the soldier jumping that platform

“Oh Soldier, do you remember that spy you killed in Sawmill?”

“Dont you remember what the magician told you?”
*A friend of yours will visit you, from his grave in CP_Sawmill?"
“You didnt notice anything strange behind the minigun hurm…?”

“The spy caught the soldier in midair!”
“Slowly, the soldier was running out of air!”

“You are free to go, I will just wait.”
“Until your hands get tired and you face your fate!”

What to do?
*still missing Merasmus, say it boy, say how MUCH you miss Merasmus.
*Make your own choise!

[Bombinomicon here! Soldier will die unless you make the correct choise]

Dec 02, 2012 at 01:20PM EST
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Hey buddy! You know what they say! There’s only one way to stop a zombie! You know where to aim, you just need a gun! Opsss I said too much! Bombinomicon leaving!

Dec 02, 2012 at 01:26PM EST
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>Yell at the RED Spy to shoot his Revolver at the zombie Spy’s head!
>Don’t fall with the body, Soldier, unless you want to be dead!

Dec 02, 2012 at 01:28PM EST
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Lone K.K. Slider wrote:

>Yell at the RED Spy to shoot his Revolver at the zombie Spy’s head!
>Don’t fall with the body, Soldier, unless you want to be dead!

The spy is unarmed! You better get anothe- Okay I talked to much, Bombinomicon leaving!

Dec 02, 2012 at 01:33PM EST
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The Heavy is still there just watching, doesn’t he carry a shotgun?

>Yell at Heavy for assistance

The medic is there too

>Tell medic to pop an uber on the Solider

Dec 02, 2012 at 05:07PM EST
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88y8y8 wrote:

>spy, use machina to shoot zombie!


“The spy sent a machina’ bullet”
“with the zombie being the target!”

Now with the spy and the sniper dead…
*Okay I get it, you don’t want to beg to Merasmus. Eventually, you will miss me."
*You know what? Just make your own choises already…"

[Hey buddy, you heard Merasmus, make your own and get a cookie! Bombinomicon isn’t dropping clues again hehe!]

Dec 02, 2012 at 10:09PM EST
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Is it possible to climb up onto the platform? If so, do that. If not, isn’t there a scout around here that could double jump over and give me a hand?

Dec 02, 2012 at 10:11PM EST

For a second I thought you were talking about lupine assassin.

Dec 03, 2012 at 12:04AM EST

>Climb onto platform.
>Jump across gap and onto flooring.

>Keep looking for Heavy’s Minigun.

I do not see the Minigun in the image anywhere, so I’m assuming that it is somewhere else.

And in response to Merasmus’ cries for us to beg to him:

Last edited Dec 03, 2012 at 01:10AM EST
Dec 03, 2012 at 01:00AM EST
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American Tanker, Hell on Tracks wrote:

Is it possible to climb up onto the platform? If so, do that. If not, isn’t there a scout around here that could double jump over and give me a hand?

>img src=“http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/443/839/f75.png”>
Scout to bussy dealing with a monkey ghost…And Im not joking


“And so the soldier was free to climb!”
“As Etemonkey was running out of rhymes!”
“A few laughs in the ending.”
“But 3 problems we still have pending!”

Who should we help now?
Demoman
*Scout
*The Snipers
*No mortals, I’m tired of always trying the same, do you get any idea of how difficult is to think a clever insult for every stupid decission you make? Do you get any idea? Any idea of how irritating is to always come with the same sentence? “Beg to Merasmus”? I’m too rich and powerful for this, from now on, you will be unable to beg to me, MERASMUS! THE MAGICIAN! I LEAVE YOU, TO YOUR DOOMS!"

Dec 03, 2012 at 09:44AM EST
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>Save Demoman
>(Optional) Trim down that beard

Dec 03, 2012 at 10:10AM EST

Mexx Android wrote:

>Save Demoman
>(Optional) Trim down that beard


The soldier got:
*New beard, gift from the “Thinking Medic”
*Smoking pipe, from the “Thinking Medic” too

“Hopeless looking demo over there!”
“and saddly we just lost our last stair!”

“Seems like he has the same problem the heavy had, he missed something..But I wonder, what could it be?” said the Spy
“Let me think about it…” said the Medic

So…
*Beg to Bombinomicom [Yes! This is Bombinomicon trolling you Merasmussussy!]
*Try to fly?
*Make your choises fellas!

Dec 03, 2012 at 09:12PM EST
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>Beg to Bombinomicon to put a bomb at your feet in which to bomb jump up to demo with.

Dec 03, 2012 at 09:28PM EST
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I was kidding, you can’t beg to me for legal reasons I fail to comprehend. Think of anything else! Like..why the demoman is sad or something..

Dec 03, 2012 at 10:40PM EST
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Nobody gets a cookie becouse…
MONKEY GHOST OUT OF NOWHERE!

What to do?
*Make your choises and leave me alone -Merasmus The Magician

Dec 04, 2012 at 08:52AM EST
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>Ignore the monkey
>He won’t harm us if we don’t acknowledge his existence, right?

Dec 04, 2012 at 09:19AM EST

>Get the medic to try to suck the monkey ghost up, or at least heal it.
that thing works like a proton pack, right?
also,
>WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING BEHIND THE HEAVY?

Dec 04, 2012 at 04:06PM EST
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Mexx Android wrote:

>Ignore the monkey
>He won’t harm us if we don’t acknowledge his existence, right?

EDIT: I forgot the cookie, slap me if I ever forgot the cookie again

2 things I can never miss, the cookie and “Beg to Merasmus” choise or something related to Merasmus.


“And so they ignored the ghost.”
“Who was searching for a new host!”
“Saddly, the scout and heavy were too scared.”
“The ghost simply had to stare!”


[Scooby Doo pose]
Unless someone wants to end up cursed like the Pyro, we must do something!

*Don’t beg to me -Merasmus The Magician
*Tell Merasmus to stop being an attention whore -Bombinomicon
*Make your choises!

Last edited Dec 05, 2012 at 05:01PM EST
Dec 05, 2012 at 04:58PM EST
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Wait, isn’t that Poopy Joe? He must want to continue his mission to space!

>Find the Australium and take both it and Joe to his rocket

Dec 05, 2012 at 05:16PM EST
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Captain Douglas J Falcon wrote:

>Merasmus, stop being an attention whore.


Do you want to see this staff dissapear? Cause I’m going to put it straight up your ass and push you around like a BROOM!

EDIT: Poppy Joe is dead BTW, and his rocket gone.

Last edited Dec 05, 2012 at 05:18PM EST
Dec 05, 2012 at 05:18PM EST
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Poppy Joe is dead BTW

Well yea, hence monkey ghost. But if there is no replacement rocket then I guess that throws that option out

He might still want his australium though

Last edited Dec 05, 2012 at 06:15PM EST
Dec 05, 2012 at 06:14PM EST
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>Tell those 2 to shut the hell up
>Look for anything you can contain the monkey in. Jars, medicine containers, maybe even a hat. Improvise!

Last edited Dec 06, 2012 at 07:51AM EST
Dec 06, 2012 at 07:50AM EST

>Call The Goastbusters

Dec 16, 2012 at 05:59AM EST
Skeletor-sm

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