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Really Bad Puns

Last posted Jan 12, 2013 at 08:33PM EST. Added Jan 08, 2013 at 08:28PM EST
27 posts from 21 users

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” says Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.

Jan 08, 2013 at 08:28PM EST
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Two muffins are sitting in an oven, one said to the other: “man, it’s hot in here!” The other one responds: “Holy shit, a talking muffin”

Jan 08, 2013 at 08:49PM EST
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This is my kind of thread!
A boy melon tries to propose a girl melon. The girl melon replies, “were too young, we cantaloupe!”
I lit some black powder once to see what happened. It was a blast.
Two muffins were in the oven. One said “sure is hot in here.” The other said “Fancy that, a talking muffin!” Edit: Ninja’d
This one’s kind of a riddle but, Suzy had three older sisters. They were named April, May, and June. What was the youngest sister’s name?

Last edited Jan 08, 2013 at 08:55PM EST
Jan 08, 2013 at 08:55PM EST
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KI....D wrote:

This is my kind of thread!
A boy melon tries to propose a girl melon. The girl melon replies, “were too young, we cantaloupe!”
I lit some black powder once to see what happened. It was a blast.
Two muffins were in the oven. One said “sure is hot in here.” The other said “Fancy that, a talking muffin!” Edit: Ninja’d
This one’s kind of a riddle but, Suzy had three older sisters. They were named April, May, and June. What was the youngest sister’s name?

Is it Suzy?

Jan 08, 2013 at 09:14PM EST
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I love my toaster, I take it everywhere but when I found out that my toaster is not waterproof, I was shocked!

Jan 08, 2013 at 09:34PM EST
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Heavy Weapons wrote:

Is it Suzy?

You bet.
I robbed a glue factory, but the guards caught me on the way out. It was a sticky situation.

Jan 08, 2013 at 09:49PM EST
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When a pebble was asked what it wanted to be, it said it wanted to be a little bolder

Last edited Jan 08, 2013 at 09:58PM EST
Jan 08, 2013 at 09:57PM EST
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If you want to be a DJ, you have to start from scratch.
Without music, life would B flat.
When a chemist dies, you should barium.

Jan 08, 2013 at 09:57PM EST


I approve of this thread.

Jan 08, 2013 at 11:18PM EST

I was gonna tell a gay joke, butt fuck it. I hate ’em anyways.

And that we’re on the topic of jokes, feel free to tell your own. But be warned. I won’t allow the following:

No gay jokes. You think they’re good, but they’re really a pain in the ass.
No handicapped jokes. I can’t stand those.
No 9/11. They’re just plane terrible.
No penis jokes. They’re usually too long.
No Nazi jokes. While they may be heilarious, most people will Nazi them coming, Anne Frankly, you should’t be surprised if they miss the joke.
No Mexican jokes. You might go over the border with those.
No black jokes. They just don’t work.
No lesbian jokes. You guys don’t have the balls to tell ‘em.
No vagina jokes. they’re horrible. Period.
No jokes about your girlfriend’s vagina. We’ll never get it.
And I know I made a gay joke at the start, but I was just being a fucking asshole. You don’t have to be.

That about covers it.

Jan 09, 2013 at 03:54AM EST
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I have one so bad that it’s pungent ..

Jan 09, 2013 at 12:27PM EST
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A baseball came flying towards me from some distant place. I didn’t know where it came from or why it was coming towards me. Then it hit me.

Non non non non non NON NON NON NON NON

Jan 09, 2013 at 08:53PM EST
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crusty wrote:

If you want to be a DJ, you have to start from scratch.
Without music, life would B flat.
When a chemist dies, you should barium.

Why do scientists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements? because, if you can’t helium or curium, you BARIUM.

Jan 09, 2013 at 09:27PM EST
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One day, Juan went golfing. One of his balls hit a tree and bounced back at him. The bad news is the ball ripped a hole in his chest. The good news is that he hit a hole in Juan.

Jan 10, 2013 at 05:19PM EST
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I would tell that Voldemort joke, but everybody nose it.

Jan 12, 2013 at 08:14PM EST
Skeletor-sm

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