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Time/Space Machine

Last posted Jan 21, 2013 at 06:51PM EST. Added Jan 14, 2013 at 08:32PM EST
374 conversations with 13 participants

The Rustler wrote:

>Attempts to seduce the witch

The witch tells you:
“I’m 500 coins a night (not for spells).”

Jan 14, 2013 at 10:50PM EST

Medic wrote:

>Heal the Cow (C. Falcon)

Healing successful.

Jan 14, 2013 at 10:51PM EST

Medic wrote:

>Check inventory

510 coins

Jan 14, 2013 at 11:11PM EST

Captain Yoshikage J Kira wrote:

>Check if still a cow
>If I am not a cow, go to the bar

You are still a cow. You can’t go to bar, but you can go to the rodeo, and earn some money for Medic.

Jan 15, 2013 at 08:21AM EST

Laika Law wrote:

Can I play? if so

Yes, you can join.

Jan 15, 2013 at 04:20PM EST

Tahrdan Ismeh Wu-Temporis wrote:

>Wonder at how much time got screwed up because this sort of town definitely did not exist in the 18th century

Yeah, it got screwed up.
Would you like to go to another time period.

Jan 15, 2013 at 04:21PM EST

You all (including the cow) are transported to the year 1210, in Berlin.

Ninety percent of the people there belong to a religion that’s a mix of hinduism and judaism. Muslims and Christians are rare.

Jan 15, 2013 at 05:06PM EST

Iran wrote:

You all (including the cow) are transported to the year 1210, in Berlin.

Ninety percent of the people there belong to a religion that’s a mix of hinduism and judaism. Muslims and Christians are rare.

Dats one pretty screwed up middle age right there o_O I think at that point the entirety of Europe would come crashing down on Germany like a ton of bricks
besides the point

>incite a pogrom adopt the cow as a national figure

Jan 15, 2013 at 05:40PM EST
Quote

Laika Law wrote:

Dats one pretty screwed up middle age right there o_O I think at that point the entirety of Europe would come crashing down on Germany like a ton of bricks
besides the point

>incite a pogrom adopt the cow as a national figure

In this Europe, the jew-hindus are not of semetic race. They are all pure Nordics, and they worship a swastika bearing mythical creature that somehow resembles Captain J Douglas.

You put on a petition to adopt the cow as a national figure. Guess what, their mythical figure appeared. Everyone celebrates and gives you free sweets.

A Nordic girl asks you out on a date.

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:18PM EST

Captain Yoshikage J Kira wrote:

>Find a way to turn me back to normal
Since you guys went and fucked it up by going to the year 1210.

Why would you want to go back.
Here, everybody worships you.

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:32PM EST

Laika Law wrote:

Everything is so good, well, stable.
> accept date

You accept the date.

As you talk to the girl, you slowly fall in love with her.

She says, in a excited tone:
“I love you. I want to make babies with you. Here, meet me at the babymaking center.”

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:35PM EST

Iran wrote:

Why would you want to go back.
Here, everybody worships you.

I want to be a fucking human, not a cow.
>Try to find way to change back into human

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:35PM EST
Quote

Captain Yoshikage J Kira wrote:

I want to be a fucking human, not a cow.
>Try to find way to change back into human

I have an idea, you can go back in time, and instead of killing the bull, you can make babies with the bull. If the bull is alive, and loves you, you will never be turned into a cow. Easy as pie.

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:40PM EST

> make baby with nordic girl
> wait till its birth
> use voodoo magic and the sorts to transfer captain douglas’s mind into the baby

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:40PM EST
Quote

Iran wrote:

I have an idea, you can go back in time, and instead of killing the bull, you can make babies with the bull. If the bull is alive, and loves you, you will never be turned into a cow. Easy as pie.

Waiiiit a minute….
If I do that i’ll be killed by my past self, won’t I be?
>Go to Garden of Eden, 10 years before we originally came there

Last edited Jan 15, 2013 at 06:43PM EST
Jan 15, 2013 at 06:41PM EST
Quote

Are you sure you want to make babies with her? Making babies here means that they use a needle to take out your sperm, and use a needle to insert the sperm into the woman. And, anesthetics have not been invented.

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:42PM EST

Captain Yoshikage J Kira wrote:

Waiiiit a minute….
If I do that i’ll be killed by my past self, won’t I be?
>Go to Garden of Eden, 10 years before we originally came there

Done. You alone are transported there. Everyone else is still in 1210’s Europe.

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:45PM EST

i vote going back to 10 years before the garden of eden then asking god for a few favours

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:45PM EST
Quote

By arriving there, your past self kills you. Then you turn him into a cow as revenge.

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:47PM EST

Everyone is in the garden of eden.

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:48PM EST

Iran wrote:

By arriving there, your past self kills you. Then you turn him into a cow as revenge.

I WENT THERE TEN FUCKING YEARS BEFORE WE CAME ORIGINALLY
You just love screwing me over, don’t you?

Last edited Jan 15, 2013 at 06:49PM EST
Jan 15, 2013 at 06:48PM EST
Quote

Captain Yoshikage J Kira wrote:

>Mate with bull

Some asshole comes and kills you.

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:48PM EST

i know how to solve this problem
>ask god to turn me into a cow
problem solved, everyones a cow now, humans defunct

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:48PM EST
Quote

Captain Yoshikage J Kira wrote:

I WENT THERE TEN FUCKING YEARS BEFORE WE CAME ORIGINALLY
You just love screwing me over, don’t you?

You were the cow that you have killed.

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:50PM EST

Captain Yoshikage J Kira wrote:

>Ask god to give me a second chance

You now have a second chance. Now NaziPariah is a cow,and you are a human with a Nazi outfit, armed with a gun. You have to kill the asshole who wants to kill the cow, before he does.

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:52PM EST

You kill your past self, and take his clothes, but you still don’t look like you originally do. You have the body of NaziPariah.

Jan 15, 2013 at 06:55PM EST

Close Enough, But i’d like to be me.
>Pray to god to shape my current body back into my old body

Last edited Jan 15, 2013 at 06:56PM EST
Jan 15, 2013 at 06:56PM EST
Quote

Captain Yoshikage J Kira wrote:

Close Enough, But i’d like to be me.
>Pray to god to shape my current body back into my old body

Do you want me to check your moral inventory.

Sins: 2

Killing a cow and a bull

Charity: 0

Total Moral Level: -2

You need a moral level of above 5 to get your wish granted.

Jan 15, 2013 at 07:00PM EST

Captain Yoshikage J Kira wrote:

>To September 11, 2001, on American Airlines Flight 11
Yeah, that’s right. i’m stopping 9/11

You arrive with everyone else on the flight.

You still have your gun with you, until a beardy guy steals it from you.

Jan 15, 2013 at 07:05PM EST

>Kick beardy guy in the face
>Go to pilot room, if terrorists are flying the plane, shoot them
>If terrorists are not flying the plane, drop the gun

Last edited Jan 15, 2013 at 07:06PM EST
Jan 15, 2013 at 07:05PM EST
Quote

>teabag terrorist
>got to pilot seat

Last edited Jan 15, 2013 at 07:07PM EST
Jan 15, 2013 at 07:06PM EST
Quote

Laika Law wrote:

>teabag terrorist
>got to pilot seat

Yeah, I would hold a grudge too if I were the only cow on a plane.

Jan 15, 2013 at 07:07PM EST

You guys go to the cockpit, but the terrirists are still holding J Falcn’s gun. They threaten to shoot you.

Jan 15, 2013 at 07:09PM EST

seeing as i didnt steal the gun
>return to England
>graze

Jan 15, 2013 at 07:39PM EST
Quote
Skeletor-sm

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