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"When I grow up, I want to be an airplane!" – My Grandpa, R.I.P.

"When I was a child, I used to visit a old man who was living near my house. He was an Ex-Nazi member, with german propaganda from the WWII all over his house. I helped him with the housework, I already knew what nazis were thanks to my dad but I never saw a nazi in that man, instead a wise grandpa who happily shared everything he knew with me.
Then one say, I arrived to his house but there was something wrong, the place was too silent, dead-like. Windows were closed so I had to put my eye on the door lock and try to see something..What I saw was the shadow of a man hanging by a rope, clearly he just couldn't take it anymore…"
-My dad

@Xeno
Both of my grandparents are dead so I know that feeling bro.

@Wascot "clearly he just couldn't take it anymore…"
I got feels from a Nazi. I don't know what to feel.

"Did your penis touch her vagina?"

-My Dad rudely demanding details on my sex life as part of his regular overly-protective-pregnancy-paranoid-father scheme. Had to remind him that a) I took sex ed and wasn't a dumbass, b) That was the stupidest question I ever heard him say.

FYI: This was years ago when I was 18

I could go on and on about things my brother Nathan has said, but the one that has stuck out the most is that he would sometimes say at the end of his sentences "And that's why they call me Old Willy!"

"Remember when I said I thought you were autistic? I was wrong." – my mom

AND THAT WAS JUST LAST NIGHT

Same happened to me when he told me the whole story, why the hell I'm feeling sorry for him?

What are these "parents" you speak of

Me: "I have to admit, I'm really looking forward to being married."

My mom: "For the sex?"

Also, my uncle once called me a slut for posting a picture on Facebook of my roommate's dog sleeping on my chest.

You're such a slut