So our heroes arrive to Normandi from the Maledict dimension. Since time stopped itself, Spark and the rest of the crew would be extremelly surprised with the wounds and injuries, result of a merciless tournament where our gooddoers fought just for the entertainment of Maledict. Medical assistance appears almost INSTANTLY as Sam & Max travel around the air vehicle, searching in every box, crate and distant places such as Cheston’ bedroom, seeking the one who keeps leaving the toilets seat up. Doctors spin in a endless circle as adhesive tapes fly majestically through the air, covering flesh wounds, scars, mummifying the warriors who must be bloody tired and exhausted. Spark asks what happened but saddly, even the best explanation will sound like a fantasy tale. The team, consisting in a surgeon, a butcher, three nurses and a single morgue attendant, finally ends the complex process of patching up the warriors. The lack of a proper medicine personal is clearly seen..hell, the butcher loves to amputate limbs which says a lot about this “team”. Luckily, before the butcher had the opportunity to rip off Doomguy’s left hand and replace it with a robotic implant, Support arrives with a giant skillet full of Fajitas, requested by Jotaro.
The ship is near Central America, hovering in the sky above the Atlantic Ocean. Assault is currently clearing Russia, which is quite a difficult task considering the weather and the mountains.
Spark: Weeks fighting with Striders and Hunters are making Spark’ past show in countless flashbacks. However, despite this, he still manages to improve his leadership skills and his fighting techniques too. Once in awhile, he likes to copy a single move from another hero such as Hakumen, Ragna and even Falcon. Jubei words encouraged the electricity filled hero to keep moving foward even in the darkest nights. When not fighting, Spark likes to spend the whole day in the training room or playing a chess match with Cheston. Just like every creature in this vast universe, Spark is unable to say more than 5 words to Da Vinci.
Cheston: The class filled gorilla packed up actor, professional lecturer and amateur opera singer went bananas. Holding a cup of tea in his left hand, shooting his trusty tommygun with the right, the ape’ nightmarish fear of Hunters ceased to exist when he was forced to save a friend from these vile creatures. With Tager and Veteran around, Cheston realised he was practically defenseless against a opponent that knew a thing or two about martial arts. Since that day where the “Icy” Fog Supressor went down, the gorilla taught himself the art of “Gorilla-Sutsu”. In his free time, he likes to beat the crap out of Foster..in a Poker match or kick Spark’ electric buttcheeks in chess. Once he challenged Da Vinci to a chess match..we don’t like to remember that day.
Mister Foster: The thumbless bomb psycopath ,with a terrible plan to blow up oxygen itself and the Westboro Baptist church, is having a BLAST in this war. Free to employ whatever he wants, Foster is living a dream. His scary and mysterious personality is something that the soldiers dislike. In his free time, he likes to arm more explosives and watch Juvia as she sleeps…this isn’t creepy, just wait until you see Wascot…That guy stalks Mister Cantor..Now THAT is creepy.
Assassin: The Anti S designed to murder Mistral and sink Haven is no longer a dagger hiding in the crowd. Snipers being knocked out almost instantly, Hunters unable to catch up with her, Sin determination and strong willed personality made her a valuable team member. When she is out of the battlefield, she is very shy and silent. Just like Spark, she spends a lot of time in the training room…this led to a running gag between the Soldiers where they would make jokes about those two…shortly interrupted by El Macho who sees Assassin as his little sister.
Da Vinci: FUCK YOU! YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT LEONARDO LIFE. He BARELY says a word, he spends the whole damn day in his own personal ship, painting and building ye ol’ wood machines.
Pistachio: Fucking Pistachio is the fucking cat that Coffey brought from Magnolia. This fucking cat likes to fucking sleep in the fucking floor, on top of televisions and almost fucking everything. Fucking Pistachio likes to randomly bite people becouse he is a fucking asshole. The cat personality switches between a complete bastard and a lovely teddybear. Fucking Pistachio likes cheese and carrots which is a pretty fucked up taste for a fucking cat. What the fuck? Just like cats, fucking Pistachio likes to walk around the ship and appear out of nowhere as if he was a fucking ghost or something. Fucking cats..no offense Happy.
John Coffey: Finally, he recovered the rest of his memory, slowly gathering the missing pieces from his past life. Coffey used to be a sociologist teacher from a known university in Spark’ earth. He loves to remember how much the human race almost ended itself for the benefit of a small group of people. Venom only appears when Tager and Veteran need back up. When this happens, everyone is ordered to stay in the shadows so the creature can focus on the enemy without trying to kill his own allies. Some soldiers are starting to trust him.
El Macho: Compadres, el Macho se encuentra jodidamente bien. Mobius is just another ring for the spanish speaker, Fajita lover and face puncing boxer and ex professional wrestler. El Macho has his own group of names for every hero, such as “El Rojo” when referring to Ragna o “La Dama de metal” when talking about Nu. He likes to play the guitar and share folktales while eating a delicious pasta, courtesy of Support.
EDIT: So It turns out you are all fine and without a single scar. Yet another reason for my sweet sweet revenge and basically making this post beyond useless. Ignore everything this shit says regarding to wounds and stuff. Basically, you arrived and nobody gave tw shits about it. Go get drunk and destroy something else. I will kick your asses the following week since I have to study more Marx. I swear..I will become communist by the end of this year.