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Creative Deaths!

Last posted May 24, 2013 at 10:15PM EDT. Added Apr 03, 2013 at 12:54AM EDT
223 posts from 51 users

You’re drawing all happily until it runs out of ink, therefore you rage so hard that you shoot the pencil with all your strenght into the wall, it bounces on its eraser back towards you, piercing your eye socket and brain.

My item: Page get

Last edited Apr 04, 2013 at 11:47AM EDT
Apr 04, 2013 at 11:47AM EDT

Announcing page gets has been made illegal in your country. You are arrested and put on trial. After ten years in court you have been found guilty and you are sentenced to death.

Item: VCR

Apr 04, 2013 at 12:06PM EDT

I pretended to start to giving you a blow job. Right after I pulled your dick into the nearby running VCR. Since your errect, it ripped your entire genitalia off your body, and you bleed to death quickly after.

Item: Godzilla’s dildo.

Apr 04, 2013 at 12:13PM EDT

you wave it at godzilla he reveals he’s an man and almost kill you for that till you found subway stairs but it’s the kym death stairs so adding 3 and some headcrab’s corpses
idem: 4 chan

Apr 04, 2013 at 05:53PM EDT

You find something on /b/ that makes you tear out your eyeballs with your bare hands and run away screaming in agony and terror. You manage to blindly stumble your way out of your house and down the street screaming in pain all the way until you fall down the subway stairs. A pile of corpses cushion your fall but you bleed to death at the bottom anyway

Stair kill count: Lone.K, Captain Spark, markhoax, OP Lord of faggots, Nicol Bolas

My item: A small fire extinguisher

Last edited Apr 04, 2013 at 07:06PM EDT
Apr 04, 2013 at 07:01PM EDT

You start a fire in your oven just to use the small fire extinguisher, only to find the fire was already put out by a firefighter who happened to be passing by. Angry, you throw the extinguisher down onto the ground hard, where it releases its chemicals and launches from the ground and slams into you, sending you flying outside the house, and slamming you onto the top of the aforementioned stairs, where you fall and break your neck until you reach the bottom, joining Lone K., me, nicol, Captain Spark, and OP!

My Item: The Death Stairs’ Rails!

Last edited Apr 04, 2013 at 07:09PM EDT
Apr 04, 2013 at 07:06PM EDT

You try to slide down the death stairs rails and ultimately fall down the death stairs

Stair kill count: Lone.K, Captain Spark, markhoax, OP Lord of faggots, Nicol Bolas, BSOD, markhoax (twice)

My item: A digital clock

Last edited Apr 04, 2013 at 07:17PM EDT
Apr 04, 2013 at 07:09PM EDT

good job my good sir

anyway you are tinkering with an fire extinguisher and it flies out of the house and it landed in kym stairs so you tripped to the stairs then you get up and trip again not looking you died by bleeding
and a fracture
idem mtg

Apr 04, 2013 at 07:29PM EDT

jace is a boss wrote:

good job my good sir

anyway you are tinkering with an fire extinguisher and it flies out of the house and it landed in kym stairs so you tripped to the stairs then you get up and trip again not looking you died by bleeding
and a fracture
idem mtg

but… wheres the digital clock in that death?

You get spontaneous combustion due to understanding issues with your item.

Item: Winzip

Apr 04, 2013 at 07:57PM EDT

It's a me! Leox wrote:

but… wheres the digital clock in that death?

You get spontaneous combustion due to understanding issues with your item.

Item: Winzip

sorry people did that so i did not know anyway
your computer was working since you was loading something you put an power generator then the file was so massive it overloaded the computer and made it blow sparks enough to burn the house down
idem: magic the gathering

Apr 04, 2013 at 08:05PM EDT

You play the card game with your best friends, but are loosing epicly. Out of pure rage, you take a couple of those cards, and fling them at your opponent. Only to find out that he bends sideways, making the wind get hold of the cards, causing them to fly back at you, ripping your right arm off. In the shock caused by the pain, you run away, but stumble and fall down a set of stairs, containing 35 steps, which breaks your body in many unimaginable ways.
Item: a headset

Apr 05, 2013 at 11:37AM EDT

You are playing WoW and play so fucking much that can’t stop playing, and you’re listening to a death metal radio while playing but for some reason the proxy or internet settings magically fuck up and it changes the radio station to a justin bieber all-day marathon. You start to bleed your ears out but you’re so addicted to WoW that you can’t even minimize the game and your ears and head explode.

My item: A crane (those construction cranes)

Apr 05, 2013 at 12:55PM EDT

You are building a building (yo dawg…), when suddenly the counterweight falls off, causing you to slam forward and fall thru the glass, landing on a trampoline and ricocheting towards the Death Stairs, breaking your bones and many internal organs.

My item: A Coke can (full or empty – doesn’t matter)

Last edited Apr 05, 2013 at 01:01PM EDT
Apr 05, 2013 at 12:59PM EDT

You are trying to peacefully drink your coke while watching some hot gal when suddenly…random douche puts some mentos in your coke can!
The can instantly explodes, sending broken pieces everywhere. After that, you have a few seconds to enjoy your life as the world’s greatest Freddy Krueger cosplay!

Then you die…Blood loss…Shocking….Isn’t?
My item: a Forest…any forest that comes to your devilish mind!

Apr 05, 2013 at 01:53PM EDT

You walk through this lush and beautiful forest when suddenly and ent mistakes you for an orc and BAM. Dead.

My item: an USB-Memory-Stick.

Apr 05, 2013 at 01:58PM EDT

You were putting some random stuff on you USB, but forgot to safely eject it. This causes an internal failure in the stick, which leads up to the stick dividing by zero. It then implodes in a large black hole, but you resist getting sucked in, by holding on to that bar your curtain hangs on. But your father was working in house earlier today, and forgot to put his ladder away. This comes flying towards the hole, and knocks you in it, which makes your last few seconds amazing by making a nice spaghetti thingy of you.
Item: a napkin

Apr 05, 2013 at 02:36PM EDT

EpicAndAwesome wrote:

Accidentally choke on it.
My item: A grass stain.

So much for creativity…

You take your grass stained favorite shirt into the laundry and while you’re washing it you forgot to put some detergent in, so you open the cover of the washing machine but then your shirt shoots up towards you (as it was spinning very fast on the drum of the washing machine) and you get pushed into the Death Stairs.

Item: Door Stopper

Apr 05, 2013 at 03:10PM EDT

After flying up the Death Stairs, you hit the door seperating it from the next room. They fly open, but the amazing power of the Door Stopper flings it back immediatly, rocketing you downwards again, into the washing machine. The force of the draft that you create while flying past the macines door, causes it to shut hard, turning on the machine. You start spinning right round bayby, right round.
Item: Wash Machine powder

Apr 05, 2013 at 03:15PM EDT

A radioactive laser hits your Wash machine, creating a abomination known as “Powder-man”, after years of watching his fellow brothers and sisters perish at the hands of selfish humans, Powder-man seeks revenge against organic life. Before you could do anything, he rips you apart, limb by limb, and then he proceeds to put the “sliced meat that used to be a man” inside the Wash Machine.
May god have mercy…
Item: George Lucas

Apr 05, 2013 at 03:19PM EDT

God, who descends to the Earth as George Lucas, decides to not have mercy upon you. He gives Powder Man a lightsaber, and trains him to be a Sith overlord. With his new saber, he cuts up the wash machine into 9001 tiny pieces. After doing so, he rolls a cigarette, and puts those pieces in it, and start smoking it, getting high.
Item: Dinklebergs robot consisting of car parts

Apr 05, 2013 at 03:23PM EDT

The robot trashes the Turners’ yard, after which Timmy’s dad holds an all-out war between Dinkleberg. Timmy secretly wishes for his dad to have a giant robot mech so that he can get revenge on Dinkleburg for ruining Timmy’s new bike. Timmy’s dad finds a shiny red button located on the dashboard and presses it, which nukes the entire world, killing everyone, including you.
Item: Oxygen

Apr 05, 2013 at 03:28PM EDT

After the nukes blows up, the people who prepared for doomsday, and decided to hide in secret locations, are laughing at the ‘non-believers’. But oxygen decides to be a dick, and transforms into carbondioxide, which kills the hiding people, whom you are on of.
Item: Timmy’s ruined bike

Apr 05, 2013 at 03:30PM EDT

Then Superbike proceeds to burn the living daylights out of you, until you are nothing but ashes…

Item: Hammer Time!

Apr 05, 2013 at 09:29PM EDT

You’re watching the music video for Hammer Time. You decided to touch the computer screen. Because you touched this, MC Hammer is pissed as he comes to your house and kills you by throwing you down the KYM Death Stairs.

Item: Texas Rangers T-Shirt

Apr 05, 2013 at 10:15PM EDT

angry fans decided to kill you you are wearing an shirt of the opposing team so go Texas?

Apr 05, 2013 at 10:22PM EDT

You carry with you a box as you make your way through a futuristic town. You decide to try out the new delivery system, a series of tubes that transports the box from one point of the city to another. The system has never been used, and this is the first time it’s been tested. You insert the box into the beginning point, and the box speeds through the tubes, and as it nears the end of the tubes, it shoots out. Turns out the tube ended in the same exact place, and it launches the box at you, striking you in the head and killing you.

My Item: An Umbrella

Last edited Apr 06, 2013 at 03:46PM EDT
Apr 06, 2013 at 03:45PM EDT

You open the umbrella and a brown recluse spider flies out onto your face. The spider then takes the umbrella and beats your ass to death with it.
My Item: Twine

Apr 06, 2013 at 03:49PM EDT

You start to unravel a roll of twine but realize that you unraveled too much. In your attempts to fix your mess, the twine circles tightly around your neck and the roll flies over a ceiling beam and lifts you up by your neck. You spend your last couple of minutes hanging and wondering how that even happened.

Item: A Lamp

Apr 06, 2013 at 04:01PM EDT

You turn on the lamp, but because the bulb is now overheated, it breaks and the glass is shattered onto your eyes. As you cry out blood, you trip down the KYM Death Stairs.

Item: Shower Curtain

Apr 06, 2013 at 05:28PM EDT

So you take a shower, and with the curtains covered, you feel secure. You open them, and who do you find waiting, sitting on a nearby chair? James… f*cking… Bond. He was waiting for another Bond girl to step out, but when he instead sees you, he pulls out a gun, and unloads on you, remaining calm and looking badass all the while.

My Item: James Bond (bonus if you use the death I have in mind)

Last edited Apr 06, 2013 at 05:45PM EDT
Apr 06, 2013 at 05:38PM EDT

You are one Trevelyan’s minions in the last level of GoldenEye. Bond kills you along with the other respawning minions.

My item: a modem.

Apr 06, 2013 at 05:58PM EDT

@ I’m here to learn English
Not the death I was expecting, but hilarious. This was the one on my mind…

That death reminded me of this GIF

And your death…
death by your modem crashing while you are using the Internet. You get so mad that you shake your modem. It doesn’t work, so you switch it on and off repeatedly. What you don’t realize is that the modem wasn’t faulty, but you switching it on and off caused it to malfunction. It then blows up, with you incinerating next to it.

My Item: An elevator

Apr 06, 2013 at 06:11PM EDT

Valve just called you, they want to have an interview with you and there might be a chance for you to get a job at the side of legendary people like Robin Walker.
You go to Valve headquarters, a man with a unusual War pig greets you. He tells you that Gabe is waiting for you in the third floor.
You enter the elevator, you press the “3” buttom…But then you remember….Gabe…Third floor…3…Gabe…Third floor…3…
An interdimensional void appears out of the elevator floor, you quickly explode into pieces…and with the last 8 seconds of oxygen in your brain, you can see the official Half Life 3 Box art coming out of the void, as Gabe laughs and laughs…

My Item: Kotaku

Apr 06, 2013 at 07:53PM EDT

you keep reading and reading and reading until you relize you haven’t had water in 12 years
my item: a care bear

Apr 06, 2013 at 09:40PM EDT

well in care-a-lot there’s an special bear called op bear oh op bear what are you doing aww no i going to get fired anyway so kid bow down to op bear and he won’t do that wait he relentless aww crap yep he did an prison thing better get out of his sight (death by prison thing)

Apr 07, 2013 at 02:21PM EDT

You try some epic Indiana Jones whip moves, but you end up pullin over a lever that just appeared 2 meters away from you. After the lever is down, a ton of care bears fall out of the sky, crushing you.
Item: the 4th wall

Apr 07, 2013 at 02:25PM EDT

You are talking with some fellow bronies when you suddenly say “Yeah, Pinkie Pie is the best 4th wall breaker…”
Suddenly your computer explodes, quickly damaging your face, as Deadpool slowly comes out of the screen. Then, the merc-with-a-mouth pulls out the Joker…You are bleeding as the two of them look at you..Then they laugh and laugh…Then they discuss about who gets your right arm, your hands, your finger…The last thing you see is Deadpool pulling out two katanas and yelling CHIMICHANGAS!"

Item: Hats

Apr 07, 2013 at 02:39PM EDT

You become a huge fan of hats, i mean HUGE so much that you get involved into an obsession, to get as many hats as you can, and catch ‘em all. However you become poor because of it, so you start to gamble everything you have for fast money but eventually you’ll lose everything, your home, your car, your family. As you dont care for them other than your hats you become a drug dealer and you die during a police shootout. Well you didnt really die because your body went into stasis, but while your body was transported with the hospital bed, the Nurses let the car go by accident into the KYM Death Stairs.

Edit: Item: Amnesia

Last edited Apr 08, 2013 at 02:18PM EDT
Apr 08, 2013 at 02:17PM EDT

You play Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Since you’ve never played it or saw videos of it, you think “This game’s gonna be fun!” You begin to play, and right at the first jump scare, you run out of the room in fear. You approach the Death Stairs, BUT after seeing many decomposing bodies at the bottom, you freak out even more, and instead head into an elevator. You rapidly push buttons just to get out of there, but all that pushing causes the elevator to malfunction, where it drops all the way to the bottom floor, crushing you and creating the legend of the new DEATH ELEVATOR!!!

My Item: A pony… with saddlebags full of money!!!

Apr 08, 2013 at 02:23PM EDT

You see Applejack with her saddlebags, and try to approach her. You two get involved in a talk, and she befriends you. You decide that it’s time for some apples, and go to the local market, buying two barrels full of apples. AJ goes a bit crazy, and tries to eat as many as she can. This causes her to go into a psychedelic trip, in which makes her swing her limbs into random direction, hitting you several times. You fly back a bit, into the death elevator, killing you.

Item: a balloon

Apr 08, 2013 at 02:30PM EDT

There was actually a guy who used a balloon (attached to a pistol) to kill himself, the helium balloon, lifted the gun and pulled the trigger for him. The lazy bastard.

Item:The St Petersberg-Newcastle Upon Tyne Coal Trade Pact Headquarters

Apr 09, 2013 at 05:03PM EDT

You go to the St. Petersberg-Newcastle Upon Tyne Coal Trade Pact Headquarters for a meeting. You decide to take an elevator to your meeting, but it’s the death elevator.

Item: A fan

Apr 11, 2013 at 12:11PM EDT

You sit in a room with a ceiling fan, an electric fan, and a smaller portable fan. You deem the room not cool enough, so you turn all of them on. The power to the room goes out, and you groan in annoyance. You flip switches on and off, but it doesn’t work. You decide to wait it out, but of course, you wait it out under the ceiling fan. You relax, until you hear a creaking noise, and then a large crash, as you look up to the last thing you will ever see in your life…

a completely random anvil dropping on your head.
My Item: Scootaloo

Apr 11, 2013 at 12:32PM EDT

You’re walking around the room randomly, when suddenly a portal opens. You see an orangy pony flying out, crashing into the nearest wall. You recognize her as Scootaloo, and decide to help her up. She thanks you, and asks where she is. You explain the situation to her, and you two become friends. The next day, you can’t find her anywhere, and decide to look around the house in hope to find her. When you walk to your meadow, where all your animals are, you hear some noise in the chicken coop. You look in, and find her sitting on a stick with the other chickes. She’s too embarrassed to react, and decides that you must forget. She flies out, into your face, and kills you.

Item: Derpy’s Nightmare Night costume

Apr 11, 2013 at 12:46PM EDT

You are walking in a meadow and suddenly see Derpy. She is startled at the sight of you and doesn’t want you in her territory any longer. She lunges at you and suffocates you with the brown bag part of her Nightmare Night costume.

My item: Tyrannosaur Rex fart cloud

Apr 11, 2013 at 01:29PM EDT

FloatingMarmot wrote:

You are walking in a meadow and suddenly see Derpy. She is startled at the sight of you and doesn’t want you in her territory any longer. She lunges at you and suffocates you with the brown bag part of her Nightmare Night costume.

My item: Tyrannosaur Rex fart cloud

How could you get a fart cloud?

Apr 11, 2013 at 01:31PM EDT

Carno/Taur are back here again! wrote:

How could you get a fart cloud?


My item: a portal gun in the future

Apr 11, 2013 at 01:32PM EDT

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