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Creative Deaths!

Last posted May 24, 2013 at 10:15PM EDT. Added Apr 03, 2013 at 12:54AM EDT
223 conversations with 51 participants

A grammar nazi decides to yell at you for you’re (get it?) insolence but he actually triggers a FUS RO DAH!!!!!!1 you bleed out from your eardrums.
My item: Super smash brothers.

May 17, 2013 at 10:04AM EDT

You find a special copy of super smash brothers and play until your eyes melt out of your sockets and your fingers fall off.
My item: foldger coffee

May 17, 2013 at 10:17AM EDT

You commit suicide after realizing its not the best part of waking up.
My item: orbital friendship cannon.

May 17, 2013 at 10:40AM EDT

You are sent on a mission to repair the cannon’s reactor.
However, an asteroid moving at 700 MPH crashes with the cannon and explodes.
Your body is incinerated while falling towards earth.
My item: A bikini

May 17, 2013 at 12:11PM EDT

You wear a bikini in public at the beach (as a man) and are automatically labeled as a pedophile. A teenagerskateboarding by you yells CREEP and throws his food at you. You then become depressed and drown yourself in the water.

My item: Portal Gun

May 17, 2013 at 01:01PM EDT

You’re in the middle of testing, cursing through it. Suddenly GLaDOS gets bored of you alive, and decides to include you in the field of items that can’t pass through the plasma wall at the end of each level.
As you reach for the cake on the last level, you pass through these fields, and you disintegrate away….
My item :Carnotaurus (because Iran wasn’t creative enough.)

May 17, 2013 at 01:11PM EDT

It turns out that Jurassic Park’s Isla Verde is real. John Hammond wants you to come tour it since you are the greatest paleontologist of all time. You fly to island. As soon as you land, you see that the electric fence is broken and a giant roar comes from the middle of the trees. Suddenly, a giant Carnotaurus comes tearing through the trees with teeth the size of factory fan blades. It grabs Hammond first and gobbles him up. As you scramble away, the dinosaur snatches your legs and throws you up in the air and into its mouth.

My item: Battery (Any voltage)

May 17, 2013 at 01:16PM EDT

You are toying with your car’s battery, but the hand brake was off. Some other car hits your car and you get decapitated.
My item: Cheese

May 17, 2013 at 01:30PM EDT

You eat a giant piece of cheese and then realize you are extremely lactose intolerant. You then throw up your internal organs because of this and drop dead.

My item: bucket

May 17, 2013 at 01:37PM EDT

You go to a museum to look at Andy Warhol’s painting of a soup can. Realizing it is too deep for you, you instantly run and QWOP down the stairs of death.

Anyone know how many kills the stairs of death have?

My Item: A 2.0 GB Flash Drive

May 17, 2013 at 03:11PM EDT

The Flash Drive is full of malware. You can’t take it and jump down the stairs of death.

May 17, 2013 at 04:55PM EDT

Your lack of item causes you to BE LAUNCHED INTO DEEP
My item: Turret(a la portal.)

Last edited May 17, 2013 at 05:24PM EDT
May 17, 2013 at 05:21PM EDT

(Portal 2 SPOILER)
You finally defeat Wheatley and portal him to spaaace. In the ending scene of Portal 2, the four turrets you see at the elevator stop actually incinerate you with their lasers rather than just stare at you.

My item: Donuts ( No Choking )

May 19, 2013 at 10:55AM EDT

You are strangled by homer for the donut in your hand.
My item: troll

May 20, 2013 at 09:35AM EDT

The troll teaches you troll science. It is so freaking amazing that your mind literally blows up due to his simple genius. Your brain begins to bleed and you die almost immediately.

My item: kitten

May 20, 2013 at 09:44AM EDT

btw, you dont give him peelz.

My item: a toothbrush

Last edited May 20, 2013 at 12:28PM EDT
May 20, 2013 at 12:28PM EDT

The toothbrush was infected with the T virus. You become a zombie and get your head blown by Chris Redfield.
My item: Deadringer

May 21, 2013 at 01:42AM EDT

Digoxin wrote:

The toothbrush was infected with the T virus. You become a zombie and get your head blown by Chris Redfield.
My item: Deadringer

Do you mean the TF2 Dead Ringer for the spy?

May 21, 2013 at 08:46AM EDT

The spy uses DeadRinger to sneak last enemy lines as an enemy sniper. He turns everyone against each other and kills you last.

My item: TF2 Sandvich

May 23, 2013 at 07:33PM EDT

You destroy her feti master race research and she traps your door with a home made flamethrower.
Item: A healing spell.

May 24, 2013 at 10:15PM EDT

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