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Tell me your best joke.

Last posted Apr 30, 2013 at 04:48PM EDT. Added Apr 10, 2013 at 04:18PM EDT
73 conversations with 48 participants

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a “great” writer.

When asked to define “great” he said:

“I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!”

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

Apr 13, 2013 at 04:49AM EDT

What happened when Turkey and Hungary collided into each other?

Hungary became Full and Turkey no longer existed.

Apr 13, 2013 at 09:26AM EDT

Dr. Ivo Robotnik wrote:

What’s blue, runs fast, and is EXTREMELY annoying?


Very funny Ro-butt-nik.

Apr 13, 2013 at 11:59AM EDT

Sonic Von Hedgehog wrote:

Very funny Ro-butt-nik.

Enough! You won’t be egg-specting what I have in store for you next, rodent! It’ll leave you scrambling for cover!

Apr 13, 2013 at 09:45PM EDT

Why did sarah fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Not sarah.

Apr 22, 2013 at 07:29AM EDT

How are hardcore bronies and Chris Brown alike?

Even though no one outisde their fandom likes them, they still keep turning up because they just simply refuse to go away.

Apr 23, 2013 at 06:52PM EDT

How are haters and flies alike?
They are extremely annoying and won’t go away.

How many Spanish electricians does it take to fix a lightbulb?

One man walks into a library in Mexico. He proceeds to ask the librarian:
“I can’t seem to find a book here. Why aren’t there any books in this library?”
The librarian chortles and replies:
“I’m sorry, but there aren’t any books here. Just Manuels.”

I got a B on my report card. I feel A-shamed.

Apr 23, 2013 at 07:32PM EDT

What happens when your frequency of being stabbed is high?
It hertz!

Last edited Apr 23, 2013 at 08:26PM EDT
Apr 23, 2013 at 08:25PM EDT

Two guys are captured by cannibals, and placed in a cauldron of water for a meal. Since its not boiling yet, they actually do fine. Then they both notice the water gets warmer, but there’s no fire. One of the guys starts laughing hysterically, and the other asks him why.
“I just peed in their soup!”

Apr 23, 2013 at 08:32PM EDT

My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish.

She used to dress up as herself and act like a fuckin’ bitch.

Apr 23, 2013 at 09:03PM EDT

So, a man orders a salad at a restaurant. When he gets the plate, he notices a a little mouse is in it. He calls the waiter over and asks
“Hey, what’s a mouse doing in my salad?”
And the waiter says
" it looks like he’s shitting in it. Now I will fuck your wife in the ass and she will like it very much!"
The man says
“I like pizza!”

A brony walks into a bar and the bartender asks
“What’ll it be?”
The brony was too busy sucking cock to answer.

Last edited Apr 24, 2013 at 01:32AM EDT
Apr 24, 2013 at 01:28AM EDT

I met a man with 5 penises. I asked him how his pants fit, he replied “like a glove”.

Apr 24, 2013 at 08:54AM EDT

found on
A very old woman realizes that she’s seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.

Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple.

The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.

Apr 24, 2013 at 06:40PM EDT

Derpy Vazquez wrote:

Just like Sally, I also can not have an orgasm without any crack in my system.

Apr 25, 2013 at 11:53PM EDT

Wanna know how to make my dick 6 inches?
Fold it in half

Apr 30, 2013 at 02:01PM EDT

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one asks for a beer. The second one asks for half of a beer, the third a quarter, and so on.

Eventually the bartender gets tired and just pours two beers.

Apr 30, 2013 at 02:58PM EDT

Did you ever find the G spot?

Yeah it was in her pussy the whole time!

Apr 30, 2013 at 04:31PM EDT

Ernest Is dead wrote:

Wanna know how to make my dick 6 inches?
Fold it in half


Apr 30, 2013 at 04:48PM EDT

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