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Hey there, JFF

Last posted Jun 22, 2013 at 07:29PM EDT. Added Jun 07, 2013 at 09:17AM EDT
37 posts from 17 users

It’s me, 404usernotfound, and i just got a new microphone. Why don’t you give me something to read dramatically so i can test it out.

Jun 07, 2013 at 09:17AM EDT
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Obligatory:
Half-Life: Full Life Consequences.

Jun 07, 2013 at 09:54AM EDT


This city is afraid of me…I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout “Save us!”… and I’ll look down and whisper “No.” They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day’s work for a day’s pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn’t realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don’t tell me they didn’t have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers… and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.

Jun 07, 2013 at 09:57AM EDT
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Do you want me to change the title of the thread so people know what they’re getting into? If I wasn’t as lurky as I am, I wouldn’t have even bothered to look at the thread.

Jun 07, 2013 at 10:25AM EDT
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Spirit of Terenas Menethil (a.k.a father to arthas/the lich king)
Can you feel it, my son, closing in all around you? The Light’s justice has been awakened. The sins of the past have finally caught up to you. You will be called to account for all the atrocities you’ve committed, the unspeakable horrors you’ve let loose upon this world, and the dark, ancient powers you’ve enslaved. Though my soul was one of the first to be devoured by your evil, there are thousands more bound within this blade, and they cry out for release. Look now to your defenses, my son, for the champions of justice gather at your gates!

Jun 07, 2013 at 10:26AM EDT
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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Jun 07, 2013 at 01:53PM EDT
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Hello fellow users, it is I, 404 user not found. And I am here, to give you some awesome dramatic readings of your posts. Now, I would like to say it’s a sad day today on knowyourmeme for all of us. It’s a friday, yet most of us are busy lurking here, on the boards, looking for something amazing. I am here to tell you, you haz found it! Dramatic and overzealous slow-clap

Jun 07, 2013 at 03:51PM EDT
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I like how OP hasn’t delivered yet and others are attempting to hijack his thread.

Jun 07, 2013 at 05:39PM EDT
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Hey, I’m not sure what the etiquette here is.

What I mean is, is it not nice for me to record my own Half-Life: Full Life Consequences right now? Like, if 404 wanted to do it?

Or is it first-comer-wins?

I guess what I’m saying is:

I’m sorry if you were in the middle of recording this, 404.

EDIT: Whoops! Looks like I missed a paragraph at the beginning there…

Last edited Jun 07, 2013 at 09:31PM EDT
Jun 07, 2013 at 09:24PM EDT
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@Serious Business
You’re too good for this imperfect Earth. No, really, you actually corrected a lot of the poor spelling and grammar iconic to the original videos. It slightly lowers the whole point of it being so bad it’s good. But your voice is really nice, so I think it’s just the material that was wrong for you.

Jun 08, 2013 at 09:30AM EDT
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Oh sweet magics, someone please read this for me xD

Jun 09, 2013 at 07:45PM EDT
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imma finally get on one of these when its not 4am, so expect something within the next 12 hours

Jun 10, 2013 at 04:37AM EDT
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Jun 10, 2013 at 11:03AM EDT

404 user not found wrote:

its only been 7 hours. calm yo tits

*3 days

Jun 10, 2013 at 12:23PM EDT

>be me
>OP say he deliver
>hoping to get my story read
>yay storytime!
>open thread
>been a whole day since OP say he will post (promises in 12 hours)
>start crying
>run up to shrine for OP in my room
>tear it all down
>yelling
>IT’S ALL LIES!!
>mom comes in
>tells me to calm down
>more yelling
>YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, MAWM!!!
>slit her jugular, drink blood
>draw in blood
>“OP is fagget”

y op, y u do dis?

Jun 11, 2013 at 11:50AM EDT
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>tells me to calm down
>more yelling
>YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, MAWM!!!
>slit her jugular, drink blood
>draw in blood
>“OP is fagget”



>YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, MAWM!!!
>slit her jugular, drink blood



slit her jugular, drink blood


Last edited Jun 11, 2013 at 12:04PM EDT
Jun 11, 2013 at 12:03PM EDT
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Serious Business wrote:

>tells me to calm down
>more yelling
>YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, MAWM!!!
>slit her jugular, drink blood
>draw in blood
>“OP is fagget”



>YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, MAWM!!!
>slit her jugular, drink blood



slit her jugular, drink blood


Jun 11, 2013 at 12:09PM EDT
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Kyntak wrote:

>be me
>OP say he deliver
>hoping to get my story read
>yay storytime!
>open thread
>been a whole day since OP say he will post (promises in 12 hours)
>start crying
>run up to shrine for OP in my room
>tear it all down
>yelling
>IT’S ALL LIES!!
>mom comes in
>tells me to calm down
>more yelling
>YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, MAWM!!!
>slit her jugular, drink blood
>draw in blood
>“OP is fagget”

y op, y u do dis?

Do dismay my child. OP has not forsaken you.

Jun 21, 2013 at 10:31PM EDT
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Fresh OP of this thread.
Now this is the story all about how
This thread got flipped, turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute just sit right here
I’ll tell you how Op finally delivered.

In west Confirmdelphia born and raised
On the forums where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, posting, relaxing all cool
And all the shitty entries going Deadpool
When the 404 posted something cool
With Serious Business voice making us drool
He missed every post, everyone got scared
They said “He is gone, he never really cared!”

Bonus points if this plays in the background.

Last edited Jun 21, 2013 at 11:05PM EDT
Jun 21, 2013 at 11:04PM EDT
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404 user not found wrote:

P.S. Moar sexy voice recordings or should i stop after halflife?

Jun 22, 2013 at 10:45AM EDT
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Two of my posts read!?!

Yes! I feel spethial now :3 lol they both made me laugh so much, I don’t even care that I’m typing this from prison right now for being a convicted murdered. And SB read it perfectly, even said all the grammatical mistakes correctly like McGongle!

And I can now say without certainty:

Last edited Jun 22, 2013 at 11:59AM EDT
Jun 22, 2013 at 11:49AM EDT
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Sup negros. Turns out im going to a friends birthday party tonight, so no sexy voice tonight.

Have faith though, im almost done full life consequences.

Jun 22, 2013 at 12:50PM EDT
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I heard both of the Harry Potter readings. I need a life.
Might as well try it myself.



Audio and voice recording >>
For once, this accent might work for something.
And the pause at the end was me trying not to laugh.

And please, OP… please read Then Who was Phone.

Last edited Jun 22, 2013 at 01:33PM EDT
Jun 22, 2013 at 01:32PM EDT
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Digoxin wrote:

I heard both of the Harry Potter readings. I need a life.
Might as well try it myself.



Audio and voice recording >>
For once, this accent might work for something.
And the pause at the end was me trying not to laugh.

And please, OP… please read Then Who was Phone.

Only one to say “forgetten” as it was written. Bravo.

Jun 22, 2013 at 07:29PM EDT
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Skeletor-sm

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