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Corrupt a Wish

Last posted Jul 30, 2014 at 05:00PM EDT. Added Nov 19, 2013 at 12:30AM EST
1551 posts from 182 users

Granted, the stylus is so fine, it pierces your screen, impales your SD Card, and causes a leak in the battery, causing a sizable explosion, costing you your precious hands.

. . .

I wish I could finish my Watch Dogs pre-order.

May 26, 2014 at 03:35AM EDT
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Granted, Watch Dogs booms in popularity, causing all current copies to be sold.

I wish Elsa would get off her ass and build a god damn snowman

May 26, 2014 at 10:55AM EDT
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Granted, but you are then killed by Ghost.

I wish I’d stop being a downvote magnet and get more upvotes by not being a fuckup.

May 26, 2014 at 05:29PM EDT
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Granted, instead, you get super downvote

I wish i could catch up on Game of Thrones

Last edited May 26, 2014 at 05:46PM EDT
May 26, 2014 at 05:45PM EDT
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Granted, every single episode after the one you last watched is instantly spoiled and the spoilers are everywhere.

I wish I could get more upvotes.

May 26, 2014 at 05:57PM EDT
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granted: but with every upvote a kitten dies.

i wish the demon lord of the round table while piloting the wing zero got into a fight with mobius one who is piloting the epyon

Last edited May 26, 2014 at 07:01PM EDT
May 26, 2014 at 06:57PM EDT
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Granted, but humanity dies as a result.

I wish to obtain the stature of HolyCrapItsBob, to get numerous upvotes for everypost, and for all my fuck-ups and shitpostings to fade.

(Or at least to start over from the moment the cringeworthy general hit it’s fiftieth thread.)

May 26, 2014 at 07:26PM EDT
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Granted. Everything that has happened in the world sense the 50th CG page has been deleted.

I wish i could hatch a shiny Buneary.

May 26, 2014 at 08:25PM EDT
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Granted, but it faints in every battle.

I wish I knew who was downvoting me/who downvotes me and why, I wish that I could iron out 90% of my flaws, and most importantly, become an upvote magnet.

Last edited May 26, 2014 at 10:51PM EDT
May 26, 2014 at 10:31PM EDT
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Granted, you have full knowledge of the very concept of downvote and upvote. You know who did it, why, how, when..you are a beacon of votes, blazing across a black sea of karma…Eventually you become paranoid and obsessed with upvotes..you’re gonna carry that weight

I wish I had the power to make dosh appear out of nowhere.

May 26, 2014 at 10:40PM EDT
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Granted. After you caught your shiny Buneary, your save becomes corrupted and the cartridge explodes.
I wish I would become friends with the Game Grumps.

May 26, 2014 at 10:44PM EDT
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Granted, they end up being cancelled, starting a new channel on praising bad pop songs (sorry)

I wish that cosbydaf could easily make progress on the Godzilla:Replay, and that I could experience a journey similar to that of the NES godzilla creepypasta on a doom 2 megawad that I had no Idea was on my flash drive.

May 26, 2014 at 10:52PM EDT
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Granted, The adventure that you wished for nowhere near as well crafted as the NES Godzilla Creepypasta, and is complete with hyper realistic blood, skeletons popping out, and dolls coming out of the screen.

I wish you would stop being an attention slave wannabe.

May 26, 2014 at 11:21PM EDT
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Granted, he begins writing poorly made articles instead
I wish I would witness the beauty that is the sun’s life ending in 4 billion years

May 27, 2014 at 12:21AM EDT
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Granted but you thought it was “meh”
I wish for a portrait of Obama figthing hordes of werewolf zombies while riding a motorcycle also while high-fiving cthulu…….on fire

May 27, 2014 at 12:51AM EDT
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Granted. The entire painting comes to life in whatever room that you hung it up in. You know how well that is going to turn out.

I wish i could stop making an ass out of myself every 5 minutes.

May 27, 2014 at 01:29AM EDT
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Granted. You begin to make an ass out of yourself every 5 seconds.

I wish Jimi Hendrix was brought back to life.

May 27, 2014 at 01:41AM EDT
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Granted, he becomes 2spooky and dies from fire damage doing his guitar tricks.

I wish for a handful of cottonballs.

May 27, 2014 at 02:41AM EDT
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Granted, but he get’s deported back to Mexico a day later and you have charges against you for slavery.

May 29, 2014 at 03:44AM EDT
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PSST! you’resupposedtomakeawish.

. . .

I wish I had a Manic Pixie Magical Girlfriend. That would be totally babies.

May 29, 2014 at 02:27PM EDT
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Granted, she goes crazy and tries to murder you
I wish i could walk upon the surface of Venus

May 29, 2014 at 02:32PM EDT
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Granted. You still die horribly, though.

I wish that everyone’s wishes would be impossible to corrupt.

Last edited May 29, 2014 at 02:59PM EDT
May 29, 2014 at 02:58PM EDT
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Granted, it blows up in your face.

I wish that the new pokemon games were more dramatic.

May 29, 2014 at 07:50PM EDT
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Granted. One of your pokemon will die, the villain can succeed, and your rival gets ripped apart by a dragonair.

I wish i had infinite cream sodas.

Last edited May 29, 2014 at 10:07PM EDT
May 29, 2014 at 10:06PM EDT
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Granted. However, all of the cream sodas are all warm and can never be refrigerated.
I wish Megas XLR would get another season.

May 29, 2014 at 10:53PM EDT
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Granted. But it will not come out in the country you live in

I wish to travel the multiverse.

May 29, 2014 at 10:58PM EDT
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Granted, but you die.
I wish for MIGHTY PUTTY; THE FAST AND EASY WAY TO FIX ANY PROBLEM!

May 29, 2014 at 11:11PM EDT
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Granted but you’re dead so you don’t get to use it
I wish I had all the internets

May 29, 2014 at 11:58PM EDT
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Granted, they all crash.

I wish I have proof of the existence of every paranormal beings and phenomenon known to man.

May 30, 2014 at 12:59AM EDT
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Granted, you’re soon ‘silenced’ by the powers that be for knowing too much.

. . .

I wish my 64-bit OS would work.

May 30, 2014 at 01:27AM EDT
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Granted. Every other other electronic in your house breaks.

I wish i could think of more creative corruptions.

May 30, 2014 at 07:38AM EDT
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Granted, but someone else will always corrupt the wish before you can.

I wish that it would rain more often.

May 31, 2014 at 10:49PM EDT
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Granted. but your house is flooded
I wish that Silent Hill would be more scarier

Jun 01, 2014 at 05:48AM EDT
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Granted, it’s too scary and you can’t make yourself play longer than 20 minutes every two weeks.

I wish for butterscotch candies.

Jun 01, 2014 at 08:13AM EDT
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Granted but you eat too much and get diabetus
I wish for the extinction of mankind I wish for 20 pounds of bacon

Jun 01, 2014 at 09:47AM EDT
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@the_void Granted, now you’re 40 years older, reek of mothballs, with horribly deteriorated motor skills.

@Mr. Ocelot Granted, It’s all been burned to a crunchy, charred crisp. Enjoy.

. . .

I wish for a Battlefield 3 noobfe--Wait, that’s actually happening, umm, I wish for a New Tokyo Xtreme Racer game. . .

Last edited Jun 01, 2014 at 09:56AM EDT
Jun 01, 2014 at 09:54AM EDT
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granted: but all cars have malfunctioning brakes.
I wish to me a mangaka!

Jun 01, 2014 at 01:21PM EDT
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Granted.

I wish i wrote Dōjinshis for a living.

Last edited Jun 01, 2014 at 07:37PM EDT
Jun 01, 2014 at 07:37PM EDT
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Granted, but they can only be sequels to Boku no Pico

I wish the pizza wasn’t aggressive

Jun 01, 2014 at 07:49PM EDT
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Granted, but it evolves into a T-rex and murders everyone you love

I wish everyone would realize that Naoto is best girl

Jun 01, 2014 at 08:11PM EDT
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Granted, but you ruin anime as a result.

I wish I could watch an episode of Kill la Kill without going WHAT THE FUCK?

Last edited Jun 01, 2014 at 10:11PM EDT
Jun 01, 2014 at 10:09PM EDT
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