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KYM confession general

Last posted Apr 08, 2014 at 07:36PM EDT. Added Jan 09, 2014 at 12:00PM EST
231 posts from 101 users

When I was a little kid, I set the carpet on fire in my house and blamed it on my older sister. My parents still don’t know it was me.

Jan 13, 2014 at 10:43PM EST
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I did a 4 week cycle of prohormones a couple months ago to gain ten pounds.

I don’t think I would do it again though. Nothing bad happened at all, I just don’t think I’ll do it again.

Jan 13, 2014 at 10:50PM EST
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I took all of my KYM image gallery submissions that had received positive feedback and reposted them on FunnyJunk.

The results were so catastrophic that I deleted my FunnyJunk account 45 minutes later.

Jan 13, 2014 at 10:51PM EST
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I used to shove things that I like into other peoples throats. God, I’m such a faget.

Jan 13, 2014 at 11:43PM EST
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I’ve failed 3/6 college semesters I’ve taken. And by failed I mean my GPA was less than 1 most of them.

Last edited Jan 14, 2014 at 12:38AM EST
Jan 14, 2014 at 12:37AM EST
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I used to be a zealous young-earth creationist and evolution denier when I was a kid.

…Then I started using the internet. Lets just say I had that line of thinking bitch-slapped out of me

Jan 14, 2014 at 01:13AM EST
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I almost got committed in my freshmen year of high school when I managed to convince some of my schoolmates, friends, and parents that I was a sociopath. It was all just a ruse to mess with people, but needless to say it kinda got out of hand. Some of them still question my mental state.

Jan 14, 2014 at 02:06AM EST
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Whenever I watch Family Feud, I always secretly hope that the white families lose.

Jan 14, 2014 at 02:56AM EST
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SirBrownBear wrote:

I almost got committed in my freshmen year of high school when I managed to convince some of my schoolmates, friends, and parents that I was a sociopath. It was all just a ruse to mess with people, but needless to say it kinda got out of hand. Some of them still question my mental state.

Sounds like an epic troll… Nice.

Jan 14, 2014 at 04:32PM EST
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Whenever I talk to people, I rarely look at them in the eye because I fear that my curiosity will make me follow them up to an uncomfortable level.
Also my IRL gaze is pretty terrifying.

Jan 15, 2014 at 06:40AM EST
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I have no job and live off of my parents. I’m having trouble finding work because I have severe social anxiety, so I play video games all day and do some college stuff. I rarely leave the house except to go to class.

In other words, I’m kind of a useless shut-in.

Last edited Jan 15, 2014 at 03:46PM EST
Jan 15, 2014 at 03:24PM EST
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Owens wrote:

I have no job and live off of my parents. I’m having trouble finding work because I have severe social anxiety, so I play video games all day and do some college stuff. I rarely leave the house except to go to class.

In other words, I’m kind of a useless shut-in.

Same here, except I’m out of college and I have a job. I’m working at the same fast food restaurant I’ve been working at for almost seven years. SEVEN YEARS. I need to find a new job.

Last edited Jan 15, 2014 at 04:11PM EST
Jan 15, 2014 at 04:10PM EST
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Iamslow wrote:

I once mistook a cat turd for a carrot.

How? Cat turd don’t look like carrot.

Jan 15, 2014 at 05:18PM EST
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Iso wrote:

If it’s too personal, I understand but exactly how did that go?

Jan 15, 2014 at 05:26PM EST
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I’ve got an exam in two days and haven’t been revising like I planned to… ._.

@Crash
If you think I’m lying, you sadly do not know me.


Dude, you gotta slow down, at this rate you’ll wear yourself out! Gotta take it easy on the “little guy”, y’know?

Jan 15, 2014 at 05:52PM EST
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Raine, Everyone's Kouhai~ wrote:

Whenever I talk to people, I rarely look at them in the eye because I fear that my curiosity will make me follow them up to an uncomfortable level.
Also my IRL gaze is pretty terrifying.

I’ve been told that when I stare at someone it looks as if I want to kill them. I remember very clearly that I was thinking about pistachios at the time my friend told me that.

Also, unless you ask someone the following questions, your curiosity will never be on an uncomfortable level:
- How to pigeons have sex?
- How to snakes have sex?

I’ve been asked these questions by a girl I had a crush on in secondary school… who knew I liked her.

Jan 15, 2014 at 05:57PM EST
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Tomorrow I have a solo for the schools chorus concert. The whole school will be there and I have a solo meant for a soprano. I’m a tenor and I’ve spent most of the night thinking of a way to make this sound good.

Jan 15, 2014 at 08:57PM EST
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@Crash

Dude, you gotta slow down, at this rate you’ll wear yourself out! Gotta take it easy on the “little guy”, y’know?

I don’t know what you are talking about. What am I going too fast for?

Jan 15, 2014 at 10:26PM EST
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Lil B wrote:

Tomorrow I have a solo for the schools chorus concert. The whole school will be there and I have a solo meant for a soprano. I’m a tenor and I’ve spent most of the night thinking of a way to make this sound good.

Just do what a guy did in my junior high. Guy with a solo got sick the day before the school concert, so we reassigned the part. When it came time the soloist pulled this move.

He got detention for the next day or so, but it was so worth it.

Jan 16, 2014 at 12:54AM EST
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GoingMenthol wrote:

I’ve been told that when I stare at someone it looks as if I want to kill them. I remember very clearly that I was thinking about pistachios at the time my friend told me that.

Also, unless you ask someone the following questions, your curiosity will never be on an uncomfortable level:
- How to pigeons have sex?
- How to snakes have sex?

I’ve been asked these questions by a girl I had a crush on in secondary school… who knew I liked her.

Sorry, accidental downvote. >.< Please give this guy an upvote.
- – -
Confession: I was an emo four years back.

Last edited Jan 16, 2014 at 03:20AM EST
Jan 16, 2014 at 03:19AM EST
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I am a chicken shit!

I have a crippling fear of heights. Whenever I go up stairs I have to look up and I can’t go down stairs without holding on to someone. One time when I was 12 my mother had to grab my hand and pull me me up a flight of stairs when we went to see someone about my acrophobia. Not only did the sessions fail but I think I became even more afraid of heights…

I’m also afraid of fire. Whenever I see a lit candle I want to blow it out right away. It took me a couple years before I had the bravery to cook on the stove. I still wish my family would stop using candles for my birthday cakes but I don’t want to sound like a pussy in front of Crow (and if you see this I swear if you tell anyone I will rip your “chicken” off and feed it to you in the form of noodle soup!).

I am also afraid of blood. I feel weak and nauseous if I see someone else bleed. I feel I’ll end up fainting from the sight of it someday. It’s a shame too, I’ve been told I could make a great veterinarian…

Jan 16, 2014 at 08:52AM EST
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\@BSOD: Getting “worn out” from sleeping with more than one person at the same time.
Just a dumb little joke, was trying to make a funny remark and get some humor out of it so you wouldn’t think I was judging you or anything like that.
Sorry, shouldn’t have said anything…

Jan 16, 2014 at 09:50AM EST
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GoingMenthol wrote:

I’ve been told that when I stare at someone it looks as if I want to kill them. I remember very clearly that I was thinking about pistachios at the time my friend told me that.

Also, unless you ask someone the following questions, your curiosity will never be on an uncomfortable level:
- How to pigeons have sex?
- How to snakes have sex?

I’ve been asked these questions by a girl I had a crush on in secondary school… who knew I liked her.

“Dad, how to squids have sex?”

“Oh, son, the same way that I have sex: with squids.”

Jan 16, 2014 at 08:56PM EST
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@Crash

Oh don’t worry. In a threesome, it’s more like you get two people working together to give you a climax rather than getting it off twice with two people in a row. So I was at no risk of wearing myself out.

I know you aren’t judging, I just didn’t catch the joke is all. It’s all cool.

Jan 16, 2014 at 09:18PM EST
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@Littlebluedragon
HA! A friend of mine has the EXACT SAME PROBLEM: Fear to blood. I remember that in the high school my face was fricking covered in acne..from every kind such as black dots filled with pus. I dont want to get very descriptive here, the point is that I used to get rid of these things in my classroom so my face was always covered in blood most of the time…and with this friend of mine..hilarious results.
Bonus points, he wants to be a surgeon now.
Me on the other hand..

Jan 16, 2014 at 09:42PM EST
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Okay, I’ll admit it, I used to like Justin Bieber and Jonas Brothers for a few months in 2010

WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH ME BACK THEN

Jan 16, 2014 at 10:00PM EST
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Dragonbolt wrote:

How? Cat turd don’t look like carrot.

It looked kinda orange and was buried in the ground. I didn’t try to eat it or anything so there’s that at least.

@owens

I’m kinda in the same situation. I’m still looking into what kinda jobs would be right for me and I’d like to move out but I worry about my parents. They’re not aging well and they need me around most of the time to help them with stuff.

Jan 16, 2014 at 10:29PM EST
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I’ve had the nail of the big toe of my left foot removed three times.

Besides that, I used to have claustrophobia but I managed to destroy it… but then it got replaced by vertigo.

Last edited Jan 16, 2014 at 11:37PM EST
Jan 16, 2014 at 11:35PM EST
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@Necro
Ohh god… I can just imagine the nail thing.

Anyways, sometimes wake up in a different location than from my bedroom. Last time this happened I woke up in the hallway of my house. What the hell is wrong with me?

Jan 16, 2014 at 11:54PM EST
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I really fear becoming a useless piece of shit and not being able to do anything when I graduate college. Sometimes I think about it all night, wondering if I’ll be able to find a decent job and start a family. I try to tell myself I’m still young, but I can’t help but feel time is running out.

Jan 17, 2014 at 03:49AM EST
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MedleyManiac wrote:

I really fear becoming a useless piece of shit and not being able to do anything when I graduate college. Sometimes I think about it all night, wondering if I’ll be able to find a decent job and start a family. I try to tell myself I’m still young, but I can’t help but feel time is running out.

You’re far from alone, bro.

Even if one graduates from Harvard with a masters in theoretical physics and quantum mechanics, the econony is so bad right now, there’s no reasonable assurance of landing a job, much less a high pay job.

I know that’s a terrible consolation but know you’re not alone.

Jan 17, 2014 at 11:29AM EST
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Moargun wrote:

I really hate KYM

WE HAVE FOUND KYM HATER

Last edited Jan 17, 2014 at 02:40PM EST
Jan 17, 2014 at 02:39PM EST
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I worry I might be a sociopath since I lack emotional connects with others, totally fail to understand the concept of romantic love, and only show sadness for the death of family members when it directly impacts the routine that I’ve established. Thus, I have to adopt somewhat of a facade in my daily life.

…wait, this was supposed to be a comedic confession thread? Shit.

Jan 17, 2014 at 04:27PM EST
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Iamslow wrote:

It looked kinda orange and was buried in the ground. I didn’t try to eat it or anything so there’s that at least.

@owens

I’m kinda in the same situation. I’m still looking into what kinda jobs would be right for me and I’d like to move out but I worry about my parents. They’re not aging well and they need me around most of the time to help them with stuff.

It was buried in ground? Cat’s turd is being to liter box for cat poops

Jan 18, 2014 at 10:37AM EST
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Moargun wrote:

I really hate KYM

Don’t we all?

Jan 22, 2014 at 02:16PM EST
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I’ve been hitting the gym to vent the frustration of being romantically attracted to my best friend’s girlfriend. I’ve almost completely gotten over her, she and I are very good friends, I look and feel better, and I have made gains. feels good, man.

Jan 22, 2014 at 04:16PM EST
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Rukario McFly wrote:

I can’t drive 95 (because I can only go 88)

Why? Tell me more.

Jan 22, 2014 at 07:11PM EST
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Rene LeMarchand wrote:

“Dad, how to squids have sex?”

“Oh, son, the same way that I have sex: with squids.”

Jan 22, 2014 at 08:20PM EST
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Dragonbolt wrote:

Why? Tell me more.

Turns out DeLoreans can apparently only reach 50mph when they go up a hill, and to get to my house you have to drive up this massive hill.

It doesn’t look that steep on photographs though

Jan 23, 2014 at 06:18PM EST
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My username is “thegreato” because my real name is Owen




Jan 23, 2014 at 07:26PM EST
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Back in 2009, I had a Sonic OC who was a recolor of Rouge the Bat.

Jan 23, 2014 at 08:19PM EST
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Along time ago, back in LittleBigPlanet, I used to date with a PSN user, named MidnightRayn; she was a brony [reason I became one]. One night, she told me she was raped, and then I cried. She told to not to cry and hugged my Sackboy and I became in love with her.

When ever Rayn begins playing LBP, I would often visit her pod if I get a chance or sometimes she visits me. We had conversations about our daily lives.

Throughout the past 9 months, Rayn had given birth to a newborn child. I felt happy hearing about it. But later, she typed on a subtitle above her gamertag “stillborn”. I didn’t know what it means until I realize her child was born dead. …It was a catastrophe. I tried helping her feel better but she wanted to kill herself. At least she recovered from the incident, but now she hates guys and how they’re perverted and sexually frustrated. After everything we’ve done, she left PSN and we never talk to each other again.

Man… After all of this, I felt disgusted to myself and realized internet dating is wrong and I began believing everything was all just a fake.

Also seeing this forum was just for fun to me:

Last edited Jan 24, 2014 at 02:23AM EST
Jan 24, 2014 at 02:03AM EST
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I was just walking down the street one day and some guy was following me for quite a while, kept on annoying me and begging for food. I kept telling him that I had no food to give him and told him to get lost. He kept bugging me and just wouldn’t stop until I finally stopped and turned around and beat him to death with a baseball bat. I immediately regretted my actions, especially after his friends showed up so I ran away from the scene and never looked back. Worst part? I got away with it completely, no consequences either way. I think that’s what makes it so hard for me to be able to do something so evil but get away with nothing more than regret.

DayZ is one hell of a game.

Jan 24, 2014 at 02:21AM EST
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madcat wrote:

Don’t we all?

Maybe people who have been here long enough does, yeah.
But not everyone.

Jan 24, 2014 at 07:34AM EST
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I actually would like to serve the Gods of Chaos….and I’ve never played the tabletop games.

Last edited Jan 24, 2014 at 09:06AM EST
Jan 24, 2014 at 09:03AM EST
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Skeletor-sm

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