Chuck Norris actually saved John F. Kennedy by deflecting the bullet but then John F. Kennedy’s head exploded in sheer amazement
Chuck Norris’s sperm gave birth to optimus prime//
the roman’s were gonna crucify Chuck Norris but Jesus took the hit for him. (i really dont mean to offend any Christians by this joke)
….but on the bandwagon, Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane by making his hand look like a gun and saying bang.
Chuck norris wears little girly dresses.
Chuck Norris has sex with other men. It’s not that he’s gay or anything, but he’s run out of women to have sex with.
Chuck Norris never wears condoms.
Because THERE IS NO PROTECTION FROM CHUCK NORRIS
When Chuck Norris jumps into a lake, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris is so tough, there is no chin underneath his beard. There is only another fist.
There is no theory of evolution; there is only a list of animals that Chuck Norris has allowed to survive.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in under half an hour.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris divided by zero and won the game (both of them, actually).
Chuck Norris toilet paper
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a horse in the face, today that horses decendents are known as giraffes.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn’t take shit from anybody.
“Children look under their beds for The Boogieman, the Boogieman looks under his bed for Chuck Norris, and Chuck Norris looks under his bed for Kenshiro…
Kenshiro doesn’t need to check under his bed, because anyone under there is already dead."
When Chuck Norris left the Virgin Islands, they weren’t called the Virgin Islands anymore.
you fail combo breaker
chuck norris always wins
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he pushes the whole world down.
Chuck Norris once jumped off the Empire State Building. All he got was a sprained ankle.
Chuck Norris once golfed using a 12-inch strip of rebar and a sun-dried tomato. He shot a 54.
I dont get it Twilight lord i really dont
oh look at that,chuck norris got killed.
He was clearly distracted by the kitten, though.
Chuck Norris is so fat- oh wait, wrong joke.
Chuck Norris Has a diploma in kickin ass!!
Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can touch mormon Jesus… IN WAYS YOU CAN’T IMAGINE
Chuck Norris doesn’t get the common cold, the common cold gets Chuck Norris.
Death dont kill Chuck Norris, Chuck noris kills deaths.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris prefers strawberry ice-cream.
Deal with it.
i like chocolate
Chuck Norris once got into a knife fight with Wolverine in outer space. Wolverine managed to cut out one of Chuck Norris’s testicles. We now know it as… JUPITER.