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[Just For Fun] Teh Brawler's Not-Drawing Thread

Last posted Feb 11, 2012 at 03:18AM EST. Added Jan 21, 2012 at 01:21PM EST
110 posts from 25 users

Patrick wrote:

How about you finish off where KS ended- and on any arc. I want closure, dang it.

Here… I got this.

For every route other than Emi’s: Hisao decides not to pursue science and good health and dies at the age of 30.

For Emi’s route: Hisao pursues science and is athletic, living to be 70 and making many contributions to the world while chilling with his pirate-waifu Emi and his bros the Nurse, Rin, and Mutou.

HolyCrapItsBob wrote:

A man eating his toast as he ponders the finer things in life like indoor plumbing and watching paint dry.

It was a rather small cafe, Mr. Devren thought to himself. He didn’t remember how he had come to frequent this place, only that it had been a long time ago, and his routine hadn’t changed since. Two pieces of toast, buttered, and a small coffee, cream, no sugar.

Mr. Devren was a philosophical man by nature. His job at the accounting firm didn’t lend him much entertainment, so he used his free time to think about the deep ideas that swam through his head. It seemed to him that life wasn’t so simple as people made it out to be, though that was obvious. Rather, it was unexpected depth that caught his attention; depth that could only be found by truly searching for it.

Mr. Devren glanced over at the park across the street, the natural view point from his seat outdoors. His scanning eyes caught sight of a bench that had been painted earlier that day. What had once been a rusty metallic color was now a dark green, much more appealing to the sight with the bright spring colors. A large sign stood next to it with the bold words, “DO NOT SIT; WET PAINT”. Mr. Devren couldn’t help but smile at the immense inconvenience such a simple thing as drying paint could cause people. That bench was inaccessible to anyone who had even a moderate attachment to their clothes for a good period of time.

Thinking about inconvenience, Mr. Devren was suddenly drawn to the idea of indoor plumbing. It was odd how revolutionary the idea was, and yet how easily it was taken for granted. It made Mr. Devren sigh with disappointment that he wasn’t more grateful for the technology that had been developed. He took a bite of toast, and chewed slowly, thinking over other technologies that he had let pass in his mind from importance.

It really was a small cafe.

Patrick wrote:

How about you finish off where KS ended- and on any arc. I want closure, dang it.

Hisao suddenly awoke. The pitch-black darkness was confusing to him, until he realized that the newspaper he had been reading was covering his face. He pulled it off and folded it, putting it on the floor next to his chair. Standing up caused him to stretch; he had apparently been asleep longer than he’d thought.

Suddenly, a crash came from the other side of the house. He was startled for a second, but realized quickly where it had come from. Smiling, he stroked his goatee, and headed down the hall.

The door creaked a bit as he opened it, but he knew it wouldn’t be noticed. It was dark, just as she liked it, but he could still see enough to maneuver through the obstacles throughout the room. Easels dotted the floor with half-finished paintings. boxes of brushes could be seen in the corner, along with other supplies. He continued to scan the room until he saw a figure hunched in the corner. Her back was to him, but he could still see the brightness of her auburn hair from the minimal light of the cigarette in her mouth.

He silently wished to himself again that she hadn’t gotten into that habit, but he couldn’t blame anyone but himself. Besides, she only did it occasionally, when she was focusing on a large project.


The mention of his name surprised him slightly; he wasn’t aware she had heard him come in.


“I need velvet purple.”

He chuckled, remembering the tradition that had arisen over the years.

“You know I don’t know which one is velvet purple.”

He saw her small shoulders shrug iconically. Her response was short: “Just bring a purple, then.”

He sighed, smiling again, and walked over to her. He then kneeled down, and nuzzled his face in her hair. It hadn’t been washed in awhile, but he didn’t mind; it smelled like paint, which was a smell he had come to love. She made no reaction, but continued to move her foot in sweeping motions across the canvas on the floor.

Hisao suddenly remembered why he had entered the room. “What was that noise?”

The motion of her head sent his gaze to an easel on the ground. From the angle and distance, it looked like she had knocked it over on accident with her foot. It made sense; it was rather cluttered in the room, and one large stroke could have knocked anything over. He nodded in understanding, and a small gap in conversation took hold.

“How is it?”

“The lab? It’s fine; we’re currently working on some research into nitrogen fusion.”

He knew she didn’t know much about his work, but she cared, and he wanted to be able to share his life with her.

“What do you think fusion looks like?”

Hisao paused, unsure of how to respond. She read into this and continued.

“It makes me think of colors mixing, but only in a way that doesn’t work. Like they’re mad at each other.”

For the first time, she turned and looked at him. She looked different than she had in high school; her hair was longer and better groomed, though still messy in this state, and she had started wearing lipstick. Hisao wondered why it had only been lipstick; probably because it was the only easy thing to apply. But it didn’t matter to him; she looked beautiful to him no matter what.

“Do you think nitrogen is ever mad?”

“Maybe. It seems like that sometimes.”

He then leaned down and kissed her forehead. As he finished, she stretched up and pressed her lips to his. He could feel the awkward passion flowing through her; it was a passion that made him love her all the more. It was like she couldn’t express it save in bursts. He never could understand it completely, but it didn’t matter to him anymore. All that mattered was that he knew it was there, and it was there for him.

They slowly broke from the kiss, and Hisao couldn’t help but glance at the necklace around her neck. At the end of it was a small golden band. He smiled, thinking back to the day that he had given it to her. “How long do you think you haver until you finish this piece?” he asked.

Another shrug. “Whenever I get velvet purple, I suppose.”

He laughed, and walked over to the paints, and grabbed what looked like velvet purple. Bringing it to her brought a nod and a slight smile; he had guessed right. After pouring some of it out for her, he stood there for a second, and then commented, “Well, don’t take too long. I want to take you out somewhere special tonight.”

She nodded, and then turned back to her canvas. Without breaking stride, she continued to paint, changing the tone of the piece completely with this new color.

After watching for a bit, he turned back, and started heading to the door. Just as he was about to exit, he heard his name once again.


He turned back towards her. “Yes, dear?”

Her deep green eyes were focused directly on him.

“I love you.”

A smile crossed his face as he savored the moment, and looked into the green eyes of his beautiful wife.

“I love you, too, Rin. Happy Anniversary.”

Last edited Jan 21, 2012 at 05:39PM EST

Are you willing to do a crossover piece?

I have something in mind…

March, 2011. Imran Zakhaev has been tracked to an ICBM launch facility in the Altay Mountains, in Russia.

A combined force of US Army Green Berets 1st Battalion 5th Special Forces Group Delta Company “Ghost Recon”, US Marine Corps 1st Force Recon and Royal Army Special Air Service 22nd Regiment, with close air support provided by US Air Force Special Operations Wing 108th Tactical Fighter Squadron “Wardog Squadron”, have been deployed to locate and kill Zakhaev.

However, during the initial drop, USMC Force Recon Staff Sergeant Griggs misses the intended landing zone and is forced to trigger his emergency distress beacon. The other allied ground units in the zone must locate and rescue him before proceeding.

(In effect, weave together the storylines of Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War, the original Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon and Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. This starts at the beginning of Ultimatum and ends at the finish of Game Over. Think you’re up for it?)

Last edited Jan 21, 2012 at 08:55PM EST

Gamzee wrote:


Ok… I have a proposition for you. I can write the erofic, and Brawler can write the normal, nonperturbing pieces. Sound fair?

Patrick wrote:

Ok… I have a proposition for you. I can write the erofic, and Brawler can write the normal, nonperturbing pieces. Sound fair?

Patrick wrote:

I’m already half-way through with it, Andrew… It will be saucy. It will be raunchy. It will be campy. But above all else, it will be Patricky.

Fair enough.

In this post, Iambob is a woman for intents and purposes.

Iambob was entirely nonplussed. She had of course always had feelings for Gamzee, but was far too shy to say anything… She could only talk to him for a few seconds, blush, then flee. After a while, she began to think he might not even really notice her.

And yet- here was Gamzee, asking her out. On a real date.

“S-Su… Sure,” stuttered Iambob, realizing she still hadn’t addressed the request, “I’d love to.”

Gamzee’s face stayed nonchalant, his actions aloof. He muttered “Cool”, without much emotion, and did a quick about-face. In spite of his previously cool behavior, IamBob could’ve sworn she saw Gamzee do a skip-jump out of joy as he walked to his next class. IamBob giggled and went to her respective classroom.

Standing outside the restaurant, Gamzee started to fidget in his rented suit. He looked at his watch, 7:35. His date was five minutes late, but Gamzee was more worried about the date in and of itself. “Jeez…” he thought aloud, “I hope this isn’t too weird… This is a really nice restaurant, and it’s only our first date… I don’t even know if she’ll like it… I don’t know if I’ll like it, I mean I’ve never been here before…”

“Neither have I.” Iambob replied.

Gamzee could feel his cheeks turn red. “How long have you been standing there?” he spouted, obviously disconcerted, though still attempting to stay as phlegmatic as possible.

“Long enough to know I’m not the only one nervous about this…” Iambob giggled at her own honesty. Gamzee scratched his head and laughed with her.

“Shall we go in, then?” Gamzee asked, stretching his arm in the direction of the door, like a gameshow host displaying the grand prize. Iambob simply nodded once and they perambulated into the restaurant. The maitre d’ seated them towards the back of the restaurant, and asked if they wished to order off of their wine list. Gamzee gave a quick glance towards Iambob, who didn’t seem opposed to the idea. Gamzee, who was still underage, went through the list with a sort of dumbfounded look on his face. Iambob reached over, and ordered a (rather expensive) vino.

“The Chianti? Excellent choice madame, reds are my favorite as well.”

After ordering, the two of them looked around the restaurant, taking in the sights. Looking out the window, Gamzee saw a man dressed in the manner of Link, from the Legend of Zelda series. As he was about to point him out to his date, the man started shouting, “MY NAME’S KALMO! YOU HEAR ME, WORLD AND ALL WHO INHABIT IT!? K A L M O! KALMO!!

Gamzee looked over at Iambob. She had already noticed him, and was rapt in his visage. Gamzee used the distraction to steal a few glances at Iambob. She looked beautiful, a tight dress that accentuated her womanly curves, and yet gave off a reserved feeling at the same time. His eyes snaked upwards, towards her face (something he, admittedly, should have viewed before her body) and gazed into her eyes, though they were still pointed at the green-clad Hylian. Her eyes were beautiful, the kind that made poets write epics, musicians write ballads, and artists murals.

It took a while for Gamzee to figure out that Iambob had stopped watching the elfish warrior, and was aware of Gamzee’s prying eyes. Gamzee shot his gaze downward, and Iambob let out a small laugh. Their waiter arrived with the bottle.

“It’s so big…” uttered Gamzee, yet again thinking out loud.

“It’s called a fiasco… They make the bottles like that because it’s apparently easier to blow them.” Iambob said astutely. Gamzee blushed at the words ‘blow them’, a fact that Iambob deftly perceived. She added, “Glass blowing, Gamzee… Thinking of something else?” Gamzee coughed loudly, and tried to change the subject.

The rest of the date went really well, the two of them finding common ground in more subjects than they thought possible, and before too long, they stopped talking completely, opting to just stare into each others eyes, needing no words to express how both were feeling. The waiter was the one to break their silence, clearing his throat and sliding the bill towards Gamzee on the table. Gamzee flipped it over and felt as though his heart had managed to fall out of his ribcage. He looked up at his date, who looked slightly guilty, having ordered such a large glass of wine. Gamzee simply smiled, and paid the amount in full (all the while his mind was screaming at him to just run out of the restaurant). The waiter nodded, and let them be.

“Well, then…” Iambob slurred, teasingly, “Where to next?”

Last edited Jan 22, 2012 at 12:07AM EST

Gamzee quickly realized that they had finished the entire mezzo quarto fiasco of chianti. This was apparently more than enough to get her a little drunk, and him buzzed. He said, quite meekly, “Are you sure you don’t want me to take you back to the dorms?”

Iambob’s eyes narrowed, and she puffed out her cheeks cutely, disappointed in the night’s being over. Then, as if struck with euphoria, her face brightened. Gamzee raised an eyebrow, and was about to ask what was up when he realized he had inadvertently asked to take her back to her dorm. At night.

“I’d love for you to.” She replied, suddenly sounding quite sober.

“T-then let’s go.” Gamzee sputtered.

The walk back seemed to be a blur to Gamzee. In fact, due to his buzz, everything was blurred. Regardless, he pressed on, walking next to Iambob, hand on her hips originally for stability, but now just because he wanted to feel her warmth. They arrived at the girls dorm, and Iambob went straight towards the door, slipping inside, and slammed the door in Gamzee’s face. Then the door opened again, light flooding out as if it were the Pearly Gates themselves.

“Coast’s clear. Are you… Coming up?” Iambob asked, enticingly.

Gamzee’s legs started moving without his brain even telling them to. The small trip to her room seem to last longer than the trip to the dorms themselves, every second adding another BPM to his heart rate. When they reached her room, she unlocked the door, and stepped in with her hand extended towards him. He took her hand, and she pulled him in. She playfully pushed him onto the bed, and locked the door. As Gamzee looked around her room, he truly began to comprehend what was happening, and asked if she was sure if they should do this. Iambob giggled, and unzipped her dress, letting it fall to the floor. That’s one hell of an answer’, thought Gamzee. Her white bra and panties exposed, he couldn’t help but stare.

Iambob coyly said, “Now you.”

Gamzee complied. Fumbling with his pants, he managed to get down to his boxers in what seemed to take forever. Iambob, who had been quite unabashed before, surprisingly blushed bright red. Gamzee did a superhero pose to lighten the mood. Iambob walked towards him, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. They kissed. They kissed again. And again. At some point, Gamzee’s hands had worked their way downward, and were presently situated nicely on her firm butt. Iaambob pushed herself away, and removed her bra, then panties. Gamzee followed suit with his boxers, his most honest part at full mast. They went over to the bed, and Gamzee placed himself on top of her. Iambob looked up longingly, and Gamzee moved his hips forwards, eliciting a small moan from her. Out, then back in. Out, then back in. Out and then…

Gamzee finished in less than twenty seconds.

Iambob looked at him in disgust, as he hung his head in shame. She got out of the bed, and pointed towards the door, throwing his clothes at him. He morosely slid everything back on and was heading out the door when he heard Iambob laughing. He turned around, and she was back on the bed in a rather open position, saying, “It happens to everyone once, Gamzee.”

His heart welling, he once again took on the brobdingnagian task of removing his clothing when, suddenly, the door was kicked open. The silhouette of a man stumbled in, and it only took a second for Gamzee to recognize him.

It was Kalmo. He was swinging a fake sword around, shouting. Suddenly, he made a strained noise, and stopped swinging his sword around. He walked over to Gamzee, who was frozen in fear, and leaned in close.

“I just made boom boom in my pantaloons.”

And with that, he ran out the door, humming the LoZ theme loudly.

Iambob strode over to Gamzee, and asked, “Where were we?”

Gamzee followed her back to the bed, where they made violent, awkward love into the wee hours of the morning.



It was Kalmo. He was swinging a fake sword around, shouting. Suddenly, he made a strained noise, and stopped swinging his sword around. He walked over to Gamzee, who was frozen in fear, and leaned in close.

I just made boom boom in my pantaloons.

That shit made me laugh waaaaaaaaaaaay too hard.

Last edited Jan 22, 2012 at 12:17AM EST

I tried to make the sex scene as awkward as I could… While I’m not entirely new to creative writing, I am new to erofic.

And, yes, it is Japanese in inspiration… I haven’t really read any erofic, but I have seen enough anime to do a stereotypical first date turned awkward intimate moment.

Also, I feel dirty now. I blame Gamzee.

Patrick wrote:

I tried to make the sex scene as awkward as I could… While I’m not entirely new to creative writing, I am new to erofic.

And, yes, it is Japanese in inspiration… I haven’t really read any erofic, but I have seen enough anime to do a stereotypical first date turned awkward intimate moment.

Also, I feel dirty now. I blame Gamzee.

you know it bro.

Last edited Jan 22, 2012 at 12:19AM EST

So, Brawler.

How’s my request coming along? You know, the Ghost Recon/Ace Combat 5/Call of Duty 4 crossover?

EDIT: Don’t mean to rush you, of course. The good stuff’s always worth the wait.

Last edited Jan 22, 2012 at 01:21AM EST

American Tanker, Hell on Tracks wrote:

So, Brawler.

How’s my request coming along? You know, the Ghost Recon/Ace Combat 5/Call of Duty 4 crossover?

EDIT: Don’t mean to rush you, of course. The good stuff’s always worth the wait.

I’m doing them in order of request, and for whatever reason, Quantum’s “Carbon” request is giving me trouble.

Don’t worry, I’ll get to it.

Teh Brawler wrote:

I’m doing them in order of request, and for whatever reason, Quantum’s “Carbon” request is giving me trouble.

Don’t worry, I’ll get to it.

Just take your time. You’ll make it work, I’m sure.

Also, I figure I ought to clarify the exact timeline of the story I want you to write:
2008: Zakhaev launches coup d’etat in Moscow. Ghost Recon deployed to Caucasus.
2009: War escalates. Ghost Recon redeployed to Baltic region.
2010: War escalates further. Zakhaev launches attacks on Alaska as smokescreen for Khaled Al-Asad.
2011: Coup put down, Al-Asad killed in November 2010 by SAS. Berlin, controlled by Belkan Party, falls in February 2011; less than a week later, Moscow liberated from Zakhaev’s forces. Imran’s son Victor commits suicide in March. Later that month, Imran seizes ICBM base in Altay Mountains.

That give you an idea of exactly how this takes place?

EDIT: Also, the bit I want you to write is strictly in March, 2011, after Zakhaev takes the ICBM base. Just wanting to make sure you know what to write.

Last edited Jan 22, 2012 at 02:09AM EST

Teh Brawler wrote:

This is officially Bob’s new avatar.

I posted it on his wall a while back… Now we play the waiting game…

I’m tempted to try and think of another story for you, but I feel like you kinda have your hands full with the ones that have already been requested… So, instead of asking for a new story, I’m requesting that there be a twist of Shyamalanian proportions in one that’s already been requested.

Wsxdas, The Last Kramabender wrote:

Here’s one: Dinosaur pirates, do with it what you can.

>do with it what you can.


Eduard sighed softly (or, at least as softly as an edmontonia can sigh). ’I’m 28 years old today…’ he lamented internally, ‘What do I have to show for it? The ship? We haven’t pilfered anything in weeks… I can scarcely call my crew pirates at all… I’ve never even felt the cold scales of a wo-’

“Sir?” asked his second-in-command, Stefan, a rather homely (but well-meaning) eoraptor, “Are you alright, sir?” (LOL CAN DINOSAURS EVEN TALK?)

“Yes, yes, fine…” replied Eduard quickly, taken aback by his small friend’s silent intrusion, “When should we arrive to Dinopolis?”

“In a few minutes, capp’n!” he beamed, “We’ll be there before you know it.” He turned around, his tail flicking back and forth excitedly. “Oh, and sir?”


“Happy birthday, capp’n.”

“Thanks, Stefan.”

The port town was bustling with activity, dinosaurs roving, roaming, and flying every which way, going about their daily lives. Eduard breathed in the heady sea-winds. He told his crew to get the supplies they came for, and he himself went to the nearest pub to waste the time away. ‘The Clostrum… Strange name for a bar.’ Eduard thought to himself. He trodded through the swinging door, and headed straight to the barkeep.

“What’ll ya have?” The young allosaurus asked, only half interested in his job.

“The strongest thing you got.”

The barkeep nodded, reached his short arms under the island, and produced a rather large bottle. He set it in front of Eduard and turned to whatever it was that had captivated before. Ignoring the drink, Eduard turned to see what it was.

She was beautiful… He noticed she had all the right assets, and Eduard was completely taken aback by the sight of her (being the only other edmontonia he had seen, save for his parents). She was performing on stage, doing a song Eduard could’ve sworn he had never heard it before, but it was as though it was tinged with nostalgia.

She finished the set to an enthusiastic round of applause (LOL CAN DINOSAURS EVEN CLAP?), and walked backstage. Eduard strode behind, confidently.

“Hey!” He called out to her. She simply turned her head, winked, and went into her room, leaving the door open. Eduard meandered in.

She had a bottle out, and a glass already poured (LOL CAN DINOSAURS EVEN USE GLASSES?) and asked him to sit (LOL CAN DINOSAURS USE CHAIRS?).

“My name’s Sophia… So, then, sailor…” she started, “What did you want to talk about?”

“I… I, err…” He stammered.

“What’s wrong? Nervous? And here I thought you were a brave pirate… Here to plunder my booty…”

“I am a pirate… A damn good one! My name’s Eduard, the terror of the seas!” He exclaimed.

She raised an eyebrow (LOL DO DINOSAURS EVEN HAVE EYEBROWS?) and laughed. “Good… I… Like… Pi… Rates…” She said, in a sultry tone, leaning in closely. She accentuated every syllable in a seductive, low tone. Eduard leaned in, and kissed her (LOL CAN DINOSAURS EVEN KISS?). After an extended kiss, Sophia assumed her position, and Eduard took his.



You were probably looking forward to the dino sex scene, but, unfortunately, I don’t know anything about the mating rituals of edmontonias. Sawwy.

INB4 Brawler writes a story 200 times better.

Last edited Jan 22, 2012 at 07:17PM EST

Mister J wrote:

I will write the cross overs of Teh Bawler and Patrick, just tell me what stories to cross over.

cross my date with Iambob and the dinosaur story.

Gamzee wrote:

cross my date with Iambob and the dinosaur story.


just a guy on the internet wrote:

a man sitting on a mountain while he sees a giant bird

There was this particular mountain in the country that caught people’s eye every time they drove through the right part of Colorado. It wasn’t that the mountain was particularly large or impressive, or that it had the nicest trees or the whitest snow. No, what made that mountain so interesting is the stories that surrounded it. Supposedly, there was an eagle that lived on that mountain; an eagle the size of a small airplane. The local town told stories, sold t-shirts, and gave tours, which is probably why the mountain was so popular. Of course, no one had ever seen this bird. That’s what made it so interesting; this eagle was the town’s bigfoot, the legendary beast that everyone had proof of but no one had seen.

It was this bird that no one had seen that had made James decide to camp out in wait. He was currently sitting in his favorite camping chair, whittling away at a block of wood he had brought to pass the time. It had been about five hours since he had climbed to the peak and set up is tent, and he was ready to wait for days if he had to. His camera was set up to take pictures of the sky at the slightest movement, and his eyes continued to flick back and forth.

Suddenly, a gust of wind swirled around him. It was shockingly cold, not because it was uncharacteristic of the area, but because James wasn’t wearing his jacket. He instinctively curled up slightly, drawing his arms to his face for protection. Suddenly, he felt a shadow cross over him. A large one.

Looking up quickly, he saw a brown blur dive out of his view. There was no doubt in his mind; it had been the eagle. Dropping everything, he took off in the direction the bird had flown, sprinting towards the trees. However, upon reaching the cliff, he realized that the bird had vanished. Disappointment flooded through him, until he realized that his camera was still set up; it had likely taken pictures. Ecstatic, he sprinted back up to the peak, jumping over logs and dodging trees.

Within seconds, he reached his tent again, and shot towards where his camera was. WHat he saw made his face fall; his camera had been knocked over in the wind, and was lying lens-down in the dirt. James ran a hand through his hair frustratedly, and looked to the sky. It seemed like the giant eagle didn’t want to be found.

Mister J wrote:


Hey now, I said Iambob lacked a penis in that post, and the other dinosaur was also of the female persuasion! That’s not slash, that’s hetero!


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