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KYM Mars Colony

Last posted Mar 14, 2012 at 11:57PM EDT. Added Mar 10, 2012 at 05:36PM EST
161 posts from 38 users

After all that’s been happening, I have officially decided that Earth can go f*** itself. Rather than sticking/fixing our problems, I have decided to go and start a colony on Mars. In order to start this colony, I have decided to recruit the retarded scientifically advanced community that is KYM.

Here’s the plan:


First, at 7:30 AM this coming Wednesday (at whatever timezone Nepal is in, sometime in Tuesday for the US) we are going to meet at the base of Mount Everest. We will head to the top at 7:45, whoever shows up after that will be left to be eaten by mountain lions.

Once we reach the top, we will wait for the moon to reach it’s closest position to the peak. Each of us will then jump to the moon. If you can’t make the jump, bring a pogo stick or a jetpack. If you still can’t make the jump, don’t bother coming. The gene pool will be better off without you. Speaking of gene pools, be sure to bring two members of the opposite sex with you.


Above: the moon

Once on the moon, we will wait until Mars is in closest proximity to the moon to make the next jump. We will set up some igloos, and I’ll bring my TV, Wii, and a copy of Wii sports (the normal one, I can’t afford Resorts).

Once we make the jump to Mars, I may or may not build a ladder or rope to Earth for those that couldn’t make it to come with us. We will then set up a capital, and make the first steps to creating the grand utopia of Muffinator Supreme. In Muffins we trust.

Here are the things you will need to bring:

Bagged lunches/dinners: Once we actually get to Mars, we can feast upon the aliens that we all know live on there. Until then, you live on your food. I’m not sharing.

Pogo stick/jetpack (optional): for those that can’t make the jumps on their own.

A space suit: It doesn’t anything fancy, just enough until we get there.

A ficus: We will each need to bring our own in order to create an oxygen supply, since our oxygen tanks won’t hold up forever.*

Two members of the opposite sex: We need a large diversity of genes in order for our colony to populate.

You can also bring your computers, TV’s etc. Once we get up there, I plan on making a satellite out of NASA’s robots to provide us with much needed internet. It’s not like they do anything useful anyways.

Any questions?

Last edited Mar 10, 2012 at 05:38PM EST
Mar 10, 2012 at 05:36PM EST
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We must organize a Military force. The United Nations will surely attempt to stop us.

Mar 10, 2012 at 05:46PM EST
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Dane wrote:

Does Mai Waifu count?

If she’s hot and can cook, then yes.

Also, we will need somebody with expertise in gathering resources and building structures. Any Minecrafters on here?

Mar 10, 2012 at 05:55PM EST
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Don’t be silly Douglas, this plan could not possibly fail

I have a pogo stick big enough to get us to the moon. I could even help by carrying some of you guys with me. I’ll bring some tents too. I’m not sure how easy it will be to make igloo’s out of moon dust.

There’s air on the moon, right guise?

Mar 10, 2012 at 06:55PM EST
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Let’s make a union for the mars colony too!
We can call it The UAC!!
Here is what the logo will be.

Last edited Mar 10, 2012 at 06:57PM EST
Mar 10, 2012 at 06:57PM EST
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inb4 Red Faction references

Mar 10, 2012 at 06:59PM EST

I, of course, will be the Dictator Supreme of this Union.

There is no way this plan could possibly go wrong.

Mar 10, 2012 at 07:25PM EST
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Or we can just go on this…

Mar 10, 2012 at 07:29PM EST

User Name wrote:

Or we can just go on this…

On second (or third) thought, we could also just use one of these:

It’s worked before.

Mar 10, 2012 at 07:31PM EST
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Muffins wrote:

On second (or third) thought, we could also just use one of these:

It’s worked before.

Portal Guns?

Mar 10, 2012 at 07:34PM EST

How about this: I throw slendy at mars, I grab his feet as he goes flying, next person grabs my feet, everyone else does the same. The momentum should get us there fast enough.

Mar 10, 2012 at 08:36PM EST

User Name wrote:

Or we can just go on this…

I’ll cook with plenty of confidence^…..

Shotgun!

Shotgu- Awww…..

^(Reference for Hardcore Futurama Fans)

Last edited Mar 10, 2012 at 08:54PM EST
Mar 10, 2012 at 08:52PM EST

Wsxdas, The Last Kramabender wrote:

How about this: I throw slendy at mars, I grab his feet as he goes flying, next person grabs my feet, everyone else does the same. The momentum should get us there fast enough.

>New Plan
>Swing me around then toss me
>I’ll gain enough speed to fly around and grab each person one by one
>After grabbing, I’ll toss them and we can all fly.
.
>These screenshots


Last edited Mar 10, 2012 at 08:57PM EST
Mar 10, 2012 at 08:55PM EST

Ox Doxon wrote:

Here are some babies to help repopulate

This pleases Zombie Jackson.

He’s coming with us, btw. After all, we need some form of musical entertainment.

Mar 10, 2012 at 09:01PM EST
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Don’t worry guys I made a portal to mars!

I even toke a picture of what it’s gonna look like outside of the portal!

Trust me making a mars colony is gonna be easy!

Last edited Mar 10, 2012 at 10:52PM EST
Mar 10, 2012 at 10:51PM EST
Quote

Muffins wrote:

After all that’s been happening, I have officially decided that Earth can go f*** itself. Rather than sticking/fixing our problems, I have decided to go and start a colony on Mars. In order to start this colony, I have decided to recruit the retarded scientifically advanced community that is KYM.

Here’s the plan:


First, at 7:30 AM this coming Wednesday (at whatever timezone Nepal is in, sometime in Tuesday for the US) we are going to meet at the base of Mount Everest. We will head to the top at 7:45, whoever shows up after that will be left to be eaten by mountain lions.

Once we reach the top, we will wait for the moon to reach it’s closest position to the peak. Each of us will then jump to the moon. If you can’t make the jump, bring a pogo stick or a jetpack. If you still can’t make the jump, don’t bother coming. The gene pool will be better off without you. Speaking of gene pools, be sure to bring two members of the opposite sex with you.


Above: the moon

Once on the moon, we will wait until Mars is in closest proximity to the moon to make the next jump. We will set up some igloos, and I’ll bring my TV, Wii, and a copy of Wii sports (the normal one, I can’t afford Resorts).

Once we make the jump to Mars, I may or may not build a ladder or rope to Earth for those that couldn’t make it to come with us. We will then set up a capital, and make the first steps to creating the grand utopia of Muffinator Supreme. In Muffins we trust.

Here are the things you will need to bring:

Bagged lunches/dinners: Once we actually get to Mars, we can feast upon the aliens that we all know live on there. Until then, you live on your food. I’m not sharing.

Pogo stick/jetpack (optional): for those that can’t make the jumps on their own.

A space suit: It doesn’t anything fancy, just enough until we get there.

A ficus: We will each need to bring our own in order to create an oxygen supply, since our oxygen tanks won’t hold up forever.*

Two members of the opposite sex: We need a large diversity of genes in order for our colony to populate.

You can also bring your computers, TV’s etc. Once we get up there, I plan on making a satellite out of NASA’s robots to provide us with much needed internet. It’s not like they do anything useful anyways.

Any questions?

1: Mount Everest is not the highest point on earth. I believe this is what you were implying.

1a: It is impossible for a normal human to jump to the moon, a jetpack cannot carry enough fuel to lift a person to the moon whilst still being defined as a “pack”, and a pogo stick being able to generate enough velocity to carry you hundreds of miles into the air (Not to mention the accuracy of its bounces necessary to not hit a loose rock or edge and fall off the mountain) is highly illogical.

2: Again, making any sort of jump to a heavenly body without the use of highly advanced shuttles is impossible, even more so from the moon to mars than from the earth to the moon.

2a: Building a rope to earth with the small number of people you have on mars, and practically no resources to do so, is impossible.

3: It is not proven that aliens live on Mars. It is purported that there are dead berries there, which may be a viable source of nutrients, but it is not recommended that one consume such an object without studying its composition.

Mar 10, 2012 at 11:02PM EST
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Piano wrote:

1: Mount Everest is not the highest point on earth. I believe this is what you were implying.

1a: It is impossible for a normal human to jump to the moon, a jetpack cannot carry enough fuel to lift a person to the moon whilst still being defined as a “pack”, and a pogo stick being able to generate enough velocity to carry you hundreds of miles into the air (Not to mention the accuracy of its bounces necessary to not hit a loose rock or edge and fall off the mountain) is highly illogical.

2: Again, making any sort of jump to a heavenly body without the use of highly advanced shuttles is impossible, even more so from the moon to mars than from the earth to the moon.

2a: Building a rope to earth with the small number of people you have on mars, and practically no resources to do so, is impossible.

3: It is not proven that aliens live on Mars. It is purported that there are dead berries there, which may be a viable source of nutrients, but it is not recommended that one consume such an object without studying its composition.

EXACTLY.

Mar 10, 2012 at 11:07PM EST
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Piano wrote:

1: Mount Everest is not the highest point on earth. I believe this is what you were implying.

1a: It is impossible for a normal human to jump to the moon, a jetpack cannot carry enough fuel to lift a person to the moon whilst still being defined as a “pack”, and a pogo stick being able to generate enough velocity to carry you hundreds of miles into the air (Not to mention the accuracy of its bounces necessary to not hit a loose rock or edge and fall off the mountain) is highly illogical.

2: Again, making any sort of jump to a heavenly body without the use of highly advanced shuttles is impossible, even more so from the moon to mars than from the earth to the moon.

2a: Building a rope to earth with the small number of people you have on mars, and practically no resources to do so, is impossible.

3: It is not proven that aliens live on Mars. It is purported that there are dead berries there, which may be a viable source of nutrients, but it is not recommended that one consume such an object without studying its composition.


And I normally reserve this picture for opspe.

Last edited Mar 10, 2012 at 11:16PM EST
Mar 10, 2012 at 11:15PM EST
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Piano wrote:

1: Mount Everest is not the highest point on earth. I believe this is what you were implying.

1a: It is impossible for a normal human to jump to the moon, a jetpack cannot carry enough fuel to lift a person to the moon whilst still being defined as a “pack”, and a pogo stick being able to generate enough velocity to carry you hundreds of miles into the air (Not to mention the accuracy of its bounces necessary to not hit a loose rock or edge and fall off the mountain) is highly illogical.

2: Again, making any sort of jump to a heavenly body without the use of highly advanced shuttles is impossible, even more so from the moon to mars than from the earth to the moon.

2a: Building a rope to earth with the small number of people you have on mars, and practically no resources to do so, is impossible.

3: It is not proven that aliens live on Mars. It is purported that there are dead berries there, which may be a viable source of nutrients, but it is not recommended that one consume such an object without studying its composition.

Dude…it’s Minecraft. We can do what ever the hell we want, we just need the mod.

Mar 10, 2012 at 11:16PM EST
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CitationNeeded wrote:


And I normally reserve this picture for opspe.

CitationNeeded
Complaining about someone being pessimistic
Last edited Mar 10, 2012 at 11:21PM EST
Mar 10, 2012 at 11:21PM EST
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Piano wrote:

1: Mount Everest is not the highest point on earth. I believe this is what you were implying.

1a: It is impossible for a normal human to jump to the moon, a jetpack cannot carry enough fuel to lift a person to the moon whilst still being defined as a “pack”, and a pogo stick being able to generate enough velocity to carry you hundreds of miles into the air (Not to mention the accuracy of its bounces necessary to not hit a loose rock or edge and fall off the mountain) is highly illogical.

2: Again, making any sort of jump to a heavenly body without the use of highly advanced shuttles is impossible, even more so from the moon to mars than from the earth to the moon.

2a: Building a rope to earth with the small number of people you have on mars, and practically no resources to do so, is impossible.

3: It is not proven that aliens live on Mars. It is purported that there are dead berries there, which may be a viable source of nutrients, but it is not recommended that one consume such an object without studying its composition.

Mar 10, 2012 at 11:25PM EST
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Muffins wrote:

If she’s hot and can cook, then yes.

Also, we will need somebody with expertise in gathering resources and building structures. Any Minecrafters on here?

ahem

My time to shine

flips suspenders

Mar 10, 2012 at 11:39PM EST
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Can I be the Time Travelling Doctor who doesn’t want to ruin the timeline, but did it anyway?
(Reference : The Waters of Mars)

Mar 10, 2012 at 11:50PM EST
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>Colony meant to house the entirety of the KYM community
>Organized by Gold Member

Mar 10, 2012 at 11:53PM EST
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WHAT HAVE WE HERE.

A GROUP OF SEVEN IDIOTS PREPARES TO EMBARK ON A JOURNEY TO ESTABLISH A NEW GLORIOUS LAND. EACH HAS BROUGHT A THING TO HELP THE JOURNEY.

Last edited Mar 10, 2012 at 11:55PM EST
Mar 10, 2012 at 11:55PM EST
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I’m really looking forward to this. I’ve already got my plane ticket:

I only had to buy one because, thanks to Nepal’s lack of women’s rights, women count as baggage. What a bargain!

Mar 11, 2012 at 12:02AM EST
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Woah!
rush’s to get jetpack
puts jetpack on
starts to fly

Mar 11, 2012 at 12:03AM EST
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I can’t jump that high… gotta get mah jetpack!

Mar 11, 2012 at 12:09AM EST

And we’re off.

Wow. These are the worst climbers you’ve ever seen.

They should have taken the Pogo-Shuttle like team 2 did.

Mar 11, 2012 at 12:09AM EST
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I can provide manual labour since I’ve been harvesting apples by kicking with my hooves for years now. You all probably need some extra hands to carry out the tough chores. Am I in?

Mar 11, 2012 at 12:14AM EST
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RussianFedora wrote:

Mount Everest is not the highest point on earth.

Huh? Since when?

{a couple minutes of frantic Internet searching}

Ah, so you’re suggesting Chimborazo to be a more efficient launch site? Agreed. Good work, RF.

Change of plans, everyone! Meet me in Ecuador; no need for pogo sticks, I’ll just bring a trampoline.

Mar 11, 2012 at 12:32AM EST
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@Brucker: leave them be. EVERYONE ELSE, TO ECUADOR!
also, just to make sure, i’m bringing my falcon flyer. not using public transport, too costly.

Last edited Mar 11, 2012 at 12:42AM EST
Mar 11, 2012 at 12:38AM EST
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Brucker wrote:

RussianFedora wrote:

Mount Everest is not the highest point on earth.

Huh? Since when?

{a couple minutes of frantic Internet searching}

Ah, so you’re suggesting Chimborazo to be a more efficient launch site? Agreed. Good work, RF.

Change of plans, everyone! Meet me in Ecuador; no need for pogo sticks, I’ll just bring a trampoline.

THE SHUTTLE THING WAS A RUSE.

WE ARE NOW HAVE ECUADOR.

Mar 11, 2012 at 12:45AM EST
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WAIT WAIT, LET ME COME, I WANNA GO TO THE MOON.

Mar 11, 2012 at 12:54AM EST

Hey guys, isn’t there Desmond the moon bear? What should we do when we meet him?

Mar 11, 2012 at 12:55AM EST
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Skeletor-sm

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