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Missing!

Last posted Apr 13, 2012 at 12:02AM EDT. Added Apr 11, 2012 at 10:21PM EDT
21 posts from 12 users

Hey, my neighbor has been missing for a few days.

His name is Ralph and is a great dancer. He is number one in the medicine business and looks great in tan suits. He probably is the nicest at building paper airplanes made of straw.

This may not seem important, but if you can help his family by donating $9.95 to the WWF website to find the origin of his whereabouts, that would be swell.

He responds to faint yelps like “eeeeEErrrep”.

This is the last known photo of him:

Pm me for leads…

Thanks!

Fridge wrote:

This is just like that time I lost my fish…

That reminds me, I think I found it.

It’s…certainly grown, hasn’t it?

William Schnell wrote:

That reminds me, I think I found it.

It’s…certainly grown, hasn’t it?

I know that fish. I gave it some Chernobyl-Draft vodka one time.

I think I dropped the ball on this one.

Piano wrote:

I know that fish. I gave it some Chernobyl-Draft vodka one time.

I think I dropped the ball on this one.

That explains so much, and yet so little.

William Schnell wrote:

That explains so much, and yet so little.

You see, I was in a taxi on my way to the throne in Bel Air walking through Dallas one day when I heard some visceral splashing from under one of the water runoff vents. So, like any sane person would, I broke the vent off with a crowbar and slid under it to find the source of this noise.

Turns out, it was a poor little goldfish, flopping around in the sewage with a charizard standing menacingly above it. The orange sub-dragon was pointing a gun at its head!

So, as any aforementioned sane person would do, I hit the charizard in the stomach with the crowbar and pushed him away.

In a thick and extraordinarily stereotypical Russian accent, I said to the fish “Here you go little fish, this will make you strong like Russian grizzly bear” and poured some of my Chernobyl-Draft vodka on him.

Like a beautiful Russian flower, he grew massive and became bright and colorful. The only difference between the two is that the fish didn’t die two days later from sub-zero temperatures.

So, the joyous little thing swam away, off to other adventures. I looked back at the charizard. He seemed to be okay, only minor bruising, so I slipped back up through the drainage opening and went on my merry way.

That charizard later went to the hospital because he had a couple broken ribs, but I think everything turned out okay.

Skeletor-sm

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