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Title says it all.

HOW CAN I WIN AGAINST EVERYONE?!

/pecks out eyes and shits on suit

Wsxdas has encountered a fatal exception and needs to be closed…

Well actually, BSoD is pretty effective against me, much like a psychic to a normal or a fire to a water.

This is a Pokémon Battle right?

Point is, I'll just:

You are a TV, so I'll just…
TURN YOU OFF! MUAHAHAHAHA!

I have the default avatar. And Herobrine's just some stupid creepypasta. Therefore it doesn't actually exist. You just vanished in a puff of logic.

Zap you with electric attacks.

Come and get some!

in theory my avatar should have updated to one of Utsuho by now. Since that's what it's supposed to be, I'll be using it anyway.

Explosion Sign "Mega Flare"

Easy to troll, easy to kill.

Explosion Sign "Mega Flare"

…yeah. just using spellcards.

I fight him by being the most unintentionally hilarious news anchor ever.
I win.

Takes off his Tie
Strangles Him whit it

I don't watch news. So you lose.

Also

Explosion Sign "Mega Flare"

I don't care if you have your 'explosion sign'. I'M THE OP AND I CAN KILL YOU!

Let me get my Frying Pan Shiner

I'll hit you with a left, and after that with a right, and after that…

Degreaser, then Reserve Shooter to finish her off.

Boom. Headshot.

OLOLOLOL EXPLOSION SIGN "MEGA FLARE" I WIN LOLOLOLOL

Alejandro IS Greg Kelly has been backstabed with "Your enternal Reward".

Never knew what hit you.

Since you're a bundle of sticks, I'll just snap you in half.

While you're sitting there staring at me, equip secondary weapon and taunt.

I…honestly don't know what powers I have with this avatar…

but…as what I'm usually depicted as, I can shape shift.

Shape shifting Quantum Meme > All

Shape-shift=Spy
Spy=flamable
Flare gun straight to the face, then a quick kill with my mailbox

Sub-Cobar Wins
Fatality
Flawless Victory

insert spellcard here.

Try getting through this, TARDISES.

You don't know much about Touhou, do you?

Any danmaku > most swords. That sword is ordinary, so even a FAIRY could win it, let alone the nuclear hell raven!

Atomic Fire"Nuclear Fusion"

/eats TARDISES

Simple as torching an entire forum to get one lousy troll

I'm the Man Pokeman whos going to Burn Flood your house down and you with it.

insert spellcard here

I have the most magical pony in Equestria. You lose.

Magical pony=witch
witch hunt, burned at the stake

Hopefully, either my stunning good lucks will beat you, or my pokemon will electrocute you to death.

2 problems with that:
1. Average-looking
2. Rubber asbestos-lined suit. Fireproof and shockproof
A merciless beating with a car battery straped to an old jack

I'm not sure if i can get a pyro but ill just unclock near you and shoot you 2 or 3 times with the enforcer.

You all know Utsuho's (lack of) strategy at this point. Just declare a spellcard and fire minisuns at the target.

Even if you are a youkai, you're going to be consider a flying type in Pokemon with your wings and ability of flight! >:D

"Frosty"
………
Stock Flamethrower.

Robots are fireproof. It's true.

Not to say I'm a robot or anything.

Spellcard.

TARDIS=building
buildings can be destroyed in 2 hits with my Homewrecker

Able to puncture your fuel canister letting out all of the gas before you can let out the flames. Which could normally cause the thing to explode and possible killing you, or greatly wound you.

…hmmm… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….

Explosion Sign"Peta Flare"

Yes. The LUNATIC difficulty version. (Lunatic being the highest difficulty in a Touhou game.)