This is going to be a long rant. A long rant.
For the past four years, I’ve been trying to show the wonder of memes to my schoolmates. Slipping sheets of Rage Comics, telling them about it, links to Reddit, 4chan, Digg, etc etc. I have been tirelessly waging this crusade for fun and hilarity unceasingly for the past four fucking years.
Then I discovered Memebase. God, sweet Jesus. I showed Memebase to my influential friends. They took it, they spread it, we had our own following. We would use memes as a code, as a way of knowing that we weren’t alone on an isolated complex of idiocy (my school is built in a mountain range. How fucking pimp is that).
I knew about Know Your Meme long before the Cheezburger network acquired it. I’d watch the videos, I’d learn the shit, I’d lurk. I’d link my pals to these pages, this very site, to cleanse them of their stupidity. I showed them to discard their convoluted view of the world and embrace memes. The internet no longer was a vast, boring farmland, no longer a crippled, foul world dominated my mafia crime rings. I gave my few friends new meaning to the internet, something worthwhile.
Then, August of last year.
I suddenly heard a familiar phrase repeated over and over again. I didn’t notice it at first – I thought it was a Filipino slang term. Then, as I listened in to the whispers, I understood.
They said “derp”
I rejoiced. No longer was this school a breeding ground of DoTA fags and Counter-Strike obsessed morons (DoTA and CS are both good games – it’s just that my schoolmates shun anybody who doesn’t obsess over them.) I finally served my purpose.
Just as I was about to settle in to the remaining half of the school year, another word was repeated. Over and over again.
I didn’t know what this was. From the moment it crept into my mind, I’ve hated it with a passion almost as great as my hatred for Nicki Minaj and Justin Bieber. There was something about it that reminded me of poorly lit, decrepit dens of evil known as “Computer Shops” (or internet cafes) and the bug-eyed, drooling, cursing golems playing DoTA, unmoving except the twitchy, sudden motions of their hands. I set it aside.
Then, it happened.
Our school publication did an article on memes. I thought it was a good idea, until I opened it.
Dead and forced memes. Dead and forced memes fucking everywhere.
Mudkips. “If-You-Know-What-I-Mean” guy. “Rage Toons.” Rage. Toons. ANGRY FACE.
This went on for two pages. I looked at the man responsible for this graphic and inhumane butchery of the internet. what I saw changed everything. those four characters. 9gag.
I lost my shit.
I rushed to the school library. I illegally booted up a computer and visited 9gag.
Dear God, this is everything about the internet I hate.
What’s worse, 9gag became a very visible body within the school. “9gaggers” started misusing memes. Rage when it wasn’t necessary. Me Gusta incorrectly. Trollface written as two different words.
The few students who hadn’t succumbed to the cancer actually banded together. We became a task force hell-bent on obliterating the presence of 9gag from the school. I’d successfully reintegrated my corrupted friends and opened the eyes to the evil 9gag is. Unfortunately, 9gag’s hold on the Philippines is … disgusting, to say the least.
As we purged the school, nothing could be said of all the people exposed to 9gag all over the country. I’d see people giggling in internet cafes, pointing at failed memes, saying “Me Gusta” over and over. I’d see 9fags on DoTA, on CS, on TF2, on League of Legends. They were everywhere in the country. Like a shadow corporation, puppeteering countless dummy fronts to complete their slow takeover of the Philippines.
Sadly, it appears they are succeeding.
(Sorry for the long post. I just needed to release some pent-up rage – and what better place to do it than on the loving and caring community of Know Your Meme?)