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How Would You End The World?

Last posted May 13, 2012 at 02:04AM EDT. Added May 10, 2012 at 01:41AM EDT
82 posts from 41 users

I had a conversation with a friend recently, about how we would end the world.
He said he would release a virus, and I said I would Sambo kick everybody in the face until I was the only person left.

How would YOU end the world?

May 10, 2012 at 01:41AM EDT
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I would spread the funniest joke in the world through Twitter, even if that meant to die in the process.

May 10, 2012 at 01:44AM EDT
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Isn’t the world meant to end on a Friday (hint,hint)

May 10, 2012 at 02:20AM EDT
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“Release a virus”? That’s sound boring and efficient, was he being serious?

I’m joking.

What I’d do is split myself, if you know what I mean.

May 10, 2012 at 02:48AM EDT
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I would dissociate the quantum structure of the universe. It would create a glorious end to spacetime.

May 10, 2012 at 02:52AM EDT
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Find a way to destroy all evil.

Though this is less “End the world”, more “Make the world intolerably boring and static”.

May 10, 2012 at 02:54AM EDT

Not sure of the means. But I think it would involve a certain amount of time, like a day or two. Some period of time that allows most people to do or try whatever for a couple of days.

I don’t trust humanity worth a crap, to be honest. I’m pretty sure that there would be enough selfishness, greed, and destruction to convince any one that the human race didn’t need to continue.

But I would hope that everyone goes to visit the friends and family they love most and enjoy their time with them without all of the things that get in the way of that.
 
In either case, we’d be so disgusted with the current state of a panic-driven world or the previous state of the one where what matters most comes secondary, that we’d willingly give up life as we know it. Win-win.
 
 
And then candy-colored ponies take over and the glorious reign of Twilight Sparkle begins…

May 10, 2012 at 03:08AM EDT

Well, ruling out the ice caps melting, meteors crashing into us, the ozone layer leaving, and the sun exploding, we are definitely going to blow ourselves up.

May 10, 2012 at 03:27AM EDT
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May 10, 2012 at 04:01AM EDT

Trigger a nuclear holocaust, using the following steps:

1. Take control of every nuclear missile in the world, launch simultaneously in strategic locations.
2. Hijack worldwide radio airwaves, play “I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire” by the Inkspots (the song from the beginning of Fallout). Do the same thing on TV, with a loop of the final scene from Dr. Strangelove.
3. ???
4. Profit

I call it the Russian Fedora Maneuver.

Last edited May 10, 2012 at 09:12AM EDT
May 10, 2012 at 09:10AM EDT
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Fridge wrote:

Trigger a nuclear holocaust, using the following steps:

1. Take control of every nuclear missile in the world, launch simultaneously in strategic locations.
2. Hijack worldwide radio airwaves, play “I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire” by the Inkspots (the song from the beginning of Fallout). Do the same thing on TV, with a loop of the final scene from Dr. Strangelove.
3. ???
4. Profit

I call it the Russian Fedora Maneuver.

I’ll begin stockpiling bottlecaps.

May 10, 2012 at 09:19AM EDT
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I would develop a small electronic tablet that would take a picture of the 2 nearest people and make a ship of them. I would then deliver millions of these by parachute drop across every country.

People see ships, think they are legit pictures, get mad/jealous with those involved. Mass hysteria ensues, causing gigantic riots. The governments try to put them down, only adding fuel to the fire, and it continues to accelerate until I have accidentally the everything.

EDIT: And all because a little fly went “achoo”

Last edited May 10, 2012 at 10:07AM EDT
May 10, 2012 at 10:07AM EDT
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Explosive Lasers AKA Solaire AKA Sexiest wrote:

Orbital Friendship Nuke.

Ends the world as we know it, letting ponies rise up from the ashes.

Because fuck logic.

In that vein, I take back what I said before.

High Orbit Ion Cannons. As many as can fit into Earth’s high orbital sectors.

Rig them up on a timer, so they all go off at once.

Just set it far enough off in the future that the ponies are in full control. They’ll look like regular space junk until they get ready to fire.

By the time anyone on the ground realizes something’s up, it’s already too late and they’re firing.

Boom.

Hopefully, I have enough of them that Earth is destroyed outright.

Because I’d rather sacrifice my homeworld to destruction than see the ponies rule it.

May 10, 2012 at 02:30PM EDT
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American Tanker, Hell on Tracks wrote:

In that vein, I take back what I said before.

High Orbit Ion Cannons. As many as can fit into Earth’s high orbital sectors.

Rig them up on a timer, so they all go off at once.

Just set it far enough off in the future that the ponies are in full control. They’ll look like regular space junk until they get ready to fire.

By the time anyone on the ground realizes something’s up, it’s already too late and they’re firing.

Boom.

Hopefully, I have enough of them that Earth is destroyed outright.

Because I’d rather sacrifice my homeworld to destruction than see the ponies rule it.

May 10, 2012 at 02:48PM EDT
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“One day I’m going to drop a bomb on this city. A contraceptive bomb.”
- Spider Jerusalem

May 10, 2012 at 03:00PM EDT
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I would catapult myself at a speed so amazing I would split the world into chunks with a punch.

Also, Nats made me lose… I didn’t expect that. (Is it alright if I call you Nats? Feel free to object if you feel you should)

May 10, 2012 at 04:08PM EDT
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TIEM2DIE wrote:

I had a conversation with a friend recently, about how we would end the world.
He said he would release a virus, and I said I would Sambo kick everybody in the face until I was the only person left.

How would YOU end the world?

>he would release a virus.

Terrible idea. You’ll never get Madagascar.

May 10, 2012 at 04:21PM EDT
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Genetically engineering tyranids.
(I could genetically engineer orks too I guess).
Well I can make a machine Apocalypse too…or create the Borg. Man, there is so many options!

Last edited May 10, 2012 at 04:29PM EDT
May 10, 2012 at 04:25PM EDT
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Ric Tesla wrote:

Genetically engineering tyranids.
(I could genetically engineer orks too I guess).
Well I can make a machine Apocalypse too…or create the Borg. Man, there is so many options!

We could always expose the true color of Ric’s hair.

May 10, 2012 at 05:40PM EDT
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Who Just Karma-Raped OP?

@Pyro

Last edited May 10, 2012 at 07:57PM EDT
May 10, 2012 at 07:57PM EDT
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I would release cthulu from his prison in the other world and lead humanity to 1000 years of madness.

Or drop a nuke. Either way, I win.

May 10, 2012 at 09:16PM EDT
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I would simply clone Captain Falcon, then make the two Captain Falcons falcon punch each other at the same time.

May 10, 2012 at 09:29PM EDT
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I would drill to the center of the earth then use a black hole gun on it. The resulting black hole would cause the earth to implode.

May 10, 2012 at 09:53PM EDT
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Another thing I might try:

Total Rock Armageddon.

Saturate the airwaves with music videos of all the great rock and metal bands. Satriani, Metallica, Judas Priest, Anthrax, Megadeth, ACDC, Guns ‘N’ Roses, you name it, I’ll have it blasting over every TV and radio station on Earth.

May 11, 2012 at 03:03PM EDT

American Tanker, Hell on Tracks wrote:

Another thing I might try:

Total Rock Armageddon.

Saturate the airwaves with music videos of all the great rock and metal bands. Satriani, Metallica, Judas Priest, Anthrax, Megadeth, ACDC, Guns ‘N’ Roses, you name it, I’ll have it blasting over every TV and radio station on Earth.

Don’t forget Nickelback.

The rockingest rockers of all rock bands. Jus’ look at dem ripped blue jeans. That’s hardcore, brah.

May 11, 2012 at 03:20PM EDT

Verbose wrote:

Don’t forget Nickelback.

The rockingest rockers of all rock bands. Jus’ look at dem ripped blue jeans. That’s hardcore, brah.

Lol, Nickelback.

More like Nickelderp, am I right?

May 11, 2012 at 03:22PM EDT

TIEM2DIE wrote:

I had a conversation with a friend recently, about how we would end the world.
He said he would release a virus, and I said I would Sambo kick everybody in the face until I was the only person left.

How would YOU end the world?

Guys, I just had the best idea.
Wait for a few million to billion years.

May 11, 2012 at 03:44PM EDT
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MDFification wrote:

Guys, I just had the best idea.
Wait for a few million to billion years.

Wait….I thought it was in a few months. Whoops.

May 11, 2012 at 03:48PM EDT
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Fridge wrote:

Trigger a nuclear holocaust, using the following steps:

1. Take control of every nuclear missile in the world, launch simultaneously in strategic locations.
2. Hijack worldwide radio airwaves, play “I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire” by the Inkspots (the song from the beginning of Fallout). Do the same thing on TV, with a loop of the final scene from Dr. Strangelove.
3. ???
4. Profit

I call it the Russian Fedora Maneuver.

You forgot the part where you start a doomed mass exodus that ends up with the bulk of Russia’s population floating out in space.

May 11, 2012 at 03:50PM EDT
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Verbose wrote:

Not sure of the means. But I think it would involve a certain amount of time, like a day or two. Some period of time that allows most people to do or try whatever for a couple of days.

I don’t trust humanity worth a crap, to be honest. I’m pretty sure that there would be enough selfishness, greed, and destruction to convince any one that the human race didn’t need to continue.

But I would hope that everyone goes to visit the friends and family they love most and enjoy their time with them without all of the things that get in the way of that.
 
In either case, we’d be so disgusted with the current state of a panic-driven world or the previous state of the one where what matters most comes secondary, that we’d willingly give up life as we know it. Win-win.
 
 
And then candy-colored ponies take over and the glorious reign of Twilight Sparkle begins…

Aww, hell naw, Verbose.

May 11, 2012 at 06:13PM EDT
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I myself would try for a neuro-toxin that would cause permanent paralysis to any living creature, and release it into the atmosphere.

The only thing left for life on earth to do then is starve, suffocate, and rot.

May 11, 2012 at 06:17PM EDT
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404 user not found wrote:

I’d let Thomas Nair run it.

Not funny.

May 11, 2012 at 07:10PM EDT
Skeletor-sm

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