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Zach's Murder Thread

Last posted May 23, 2012 at 08:54PM EDT. Added May 15, 2012 at 07:28PM EDT
174 posts from 20 users

There haven’t been any lately, and they’re pretty fun. The rules are pretty simple. In 2 hours it will start, so you have to join before then. I’ll PM the murderer, and he/she will instruct me who to kill off first. You guys can comment, do simple actions (hide, get weapon, etc.) and/or try to figure out the murderer while the thread goes on, but no killing. Also, when you join, comment if you would like it to be a humorous murder mystery or a dramatic/horror story.
The adventure starts…
…Wait for it…
NOW

May 15, 2012 at 07:28PM EDT
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Personally, I’d like to see things done kinda differently.

The “murderer” has a high powered hunting/sniper rifle and can pick off targets without anyone knowing.

It should be very dramatic, with a horror overtone, as this character simply picks people off one by one without warning.

At the same time, the “murderer” is really just a vigilante hunting down criminals worse than himself. He is up against a corrupt police force and a populace controlled by a major crime syndicate that makes themselves out as the “salvation of humanity” or something of that nature.

Dark, dramatic, and a unique tale that is very grey in its morality.

Might be too much for you to write, though.

But regardless, I’ll see if I can’t be in this.

May 15, 2012 at 07:34PM EDT

I want to join. Count me in. Call your waifu too.

Last edited May 15, 2012 at 07:36PM EDT
May 15, 2012 at 07:35PM EDT
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This sounds pretty interesting. I’ll join up. Regarding the type of story; Comedic murder mystery.

Last edited May 15, 2012 at 07:39PM EDT
May 15, 2012 at 07:36PM EDT
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American Tanker, Hell on Tracks wrote:

Personally, I’d like to see things done kinda differently.

The “murderer” has a high powered hunting/sniper rifle and can pick off targets without anyone knowing.

It should be very dramatic, with a horror overtone, as this character simply picks people off one by one without warning.

At the same time, the “murderer” is really just a vigilante hunting down criminals worse than himself. He is up against a corrupt police force and a populace controlled by a major crime syndicate that makes themselves out as the “salvation of humanity” or something of that nature.

Dark, dramatic, and a unique tale that is very grey in its morality.

Might be too much for you to write, though.

But regardless, I’ll see if I can’t be in this.

This isn’t gray at all.

This is every damn movie with a rebellion.

And guns don’t make things cooler just because it has a gun.

May 15, 2012 at 07:36PM EDT
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American Tanker, Hell on Tracks wrote:

Personally, I’d like to see things done kinda differently.

The “murderer” has a high powered hunting/sniper rifle and can pick off targets without anyone knowing.

It should be very dramatic, with a horror overtone, as this character simply picks people off one by one without warning.

At the same time, the “murderer” is really just a vigilante hunting down criminals worse than himself. He is up against a corrupt police force and a populace controlled by a major crime syndicate that makes themselves out as the “salvation of humanity” or something of that nature.

Dark, dramatic, and a unique tale that is very grey in its morality.

Might be too much for you to write, though.

But regardless, I’ll see if I can’t be in this.

I’m planning on creative ways for him to kill them. It’ll probably be that everyone is in a group unless they choose to hide or something.

May 15, 2012 at 07:37PM EDT
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Cale wrote:

This isn’t gray at all.

This is every damn movie with a rebellion.

And guns don’t make things cooler just because it has a gun.

You may not think it’s grey, but lemme make this clear:

The “murderer” is a cold blooded, ruthless killer. That much will be made clear. And the syndicate will not have to do much to make the population believe it, because how would you feel if people just started randomly turning up dead with gunshot wounds?

Also, yes, guns DO make everything cooler.

Zach wrote:

I’m planning on creative ways for him to kill them. It’ll probably be that everyone is in a group unless they choose to hide or something.

The killer can appear by day to be just another citizen, if that helps the story.

Last edited May 15, 2012 at 07:48PM EDT
May 15, 2012 at 07:38PM EDT

I’l join too! Because it seems Microsoft Office is unresponsive today.

May 15, 2012 at 07:38PM EDT

Are there phases? How often do we need to check on the thread? If this is a thread that requires constant attention, I can’t join.

May 15, 2012 at 08:17PM EDT
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Muffins wrote:

Are there phases? How often do we need to check on the thread? If this is a thread that requires constant attention, I can’t join.

Unless you are the murderer you don’t need to be in constant contact. i plan for it to be kind of like this

Last edited May 15, 2012 at 09:01PM EDT
May 15, 2012 at 09:00PM EDT
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@Skitch
In a half of an hour Ill make the players list, and count the tally for humor or serious. I’ll also choose and PM the murderer, and he’ll PM me back who he wants killed first. Then I’ll start the story, establish the setting, etc. etc.

May 15, 2012 at 09:08PM EDT
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PLAYER LIST:
Zacharias
Admiral Serious
Skitch the Wolf
Pan the Man
Zarathh
Karzkae
Cheese Stick
Saporian
Pyro
Explosive Lasers
Lopunny
SwaGIR
Alejandro

Serious:1
Funny:3

I’ll PM the Murderer and write the first portion. It should be up within an hour.

Last edited May 15, 2012 at 09:38PM EDT
May 15, 2012 at 09:33PM EDT
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And we begin.
>Everyone at Zach’s home
>Playing Rock Band
>Pyro is a huge tool
>He chose “Through the Fire and the Flames”
>Skitch, Lasers, and Cheese Stick leave next
>They failed “Seven Nation Army”
>ashamed.gif
>Karzkae leaves too
>He tried “Kool for Cats” on drums and vocals
>(he failed)
>Zach, Alejandro and Pan playing “Fat Bottom Girls”
>Everyone came back down after a minute of pouting
>Except Karzkae, but he’s just a sore loser
>Hears loud scream
>Everyone thinks it’s Alejandro
>He gets really into his Queen singing
>Its not
>Everyone runs upstairs
>Not really, we finish the band rotation
>Then we go up
>Find Karzkae dead
>Explosive Lasers hypervhentalating in the fetal position
>Karzkae’s neck is slit
>Everyone looks at eachother
>“It seems we have a murderer” states Lopunny
>youdontsay.jpg
>1 down. 12 left

Player List
Zacharias
Admiral Serious
Skitch the Wolf
Pan the Man
Zarathh
Karzkae
Cheese Stick
Saporian
Pyro
Explosive Lasers
Lopunny

Last edited May 15, 2012 at 09:56PM EDT
May 15, 2012 at 09:55PM EDT
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Zach Dragon Rage wrote:

And we begin.
>Everyone at Zach’s home
>Playing Rock Band
>Pyro is a huge tool
>He chose “Through the Fire and the Flames”
>Skitch, Lasers, and Cheese Stick leave next
>They failed “Seven Nation Army”
>ashamed.gif
>Karzkae leaves too
>He tried “Kool for Cats” on drums and vocals
>(he failed)
>Zach, Alejandro and Pan playing “Fat Bottom Girls”
>Everyone came back down after a minute of pouting
>Except Karzkae, but he’s just a sore loser
>Hears loud scream
>Everyone thinks it’s Alejandro
>He gets really into his Queen singing
>Its not
>Everyone runs upstairs
>Not really, we finish the band rotation
>Then we go up
>Find Karzkae dead
>Explosive Lasers hypervhentalating in the fetal position
>Karzkae’s neck is slit
>Everyone looks at eachother
>“It seems we have a murderer” states Lopunny
>youdontsay.jpg
>1 down. 12 left

Player List
Zacharias
Admiral Serious
Skitch the Wolf
Pan the Man
Zarathh
Karzkae
Cheese Stick
Saporian
Pyro
Explosive Lasers
Lopunny

>mfw I’m not on the player list

May 15, 2012 at 10:07PM EDT
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>asks Explosive Lasers what he saw
>I look around to see if there is a knife in the room
>I go comfort Explosive Lasers and tell him that everything’s gonna be alright

May 15, 2012 at 10:09PM EDT
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Aww man, where was i when this sweet murder based thread came to be?

Can i be involved in some way, like a pizza guy at the ending when you all find out who the killer is and i walk in and get murdered in some horrible way that is not humane in the slightest?

May 15, 2012 at 10:12PM EDT

>Question rationality of hyperventilation
>Realize I’m being controlled
>I shiggy diggy
>Stick it to the man
>Fap
>IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY
>I’m next on the chopping block, methinks

May 15, 2012 at 10:13PM EDT
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GIANTDAD wrote:

Aww man, where was i when this sweet murder based thread came to be?

Can i be involved in some way, like a pizza guy at the ending when you all find out who the killer is and i walk in and get murdered in some horrible way that is not humane in the slightest?

Don’t worry, I’ll put you in

May 15, 2012 at 10:18PM EDT
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>SwaGIR picks up Explosive Lasers
>Comforts him
>The rest discuss the murder suspects
>It was one of the people who went upstairs
>That narrows down to 5 people
>Admiral Serious shoves them into the master bedroom
>“They’ll stay here untill we decide what to do” he said
>“WE SHOULD BURN THEM ALIVE IN THE ROOM
>Don’t think I need to say who suggested that
>Pan the Man can’t take it
>He orders Japanese food
>Special promo: every order comes with 10 mangas
>Delivery gets here
>Why, it’s none other than Seal Clubba, the stripper/delivery man
>He goes into the master bedroom
>Gives Saporian a super mega ultra lap dance
>The others come in to watch, except Serious
>Still doesn’t trust them
>All of the sudden, everyone hears a muffled shout
>Rush into the kitchen
>Serious is Dead.
>All 10 Mangas down his throat
>No one payed attention to who was/wasn’t in the bedroom
>2 Down. 11 Left

Player List
Zacharias
Admiral Serious
Skitch
Pan
Zarathh
Karzkae
Cheese Stick
Saporian
Pyro
Lasers
Lopunny
SwaGIR
Alejandro

May 15, 2012 at 10:37PM EDT
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In the thread you guys discuss how you react, like what you do/say. The only one who PMs me is the Murderer.

May 15, 2012 at 10:46PM EDT
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>awed by dat super mega ultra lap dance
>megusta.jpg

May 15, 2012 at 10:47PM EDT

>watches while Saporian gets a lap dance
>is slightly disgusted, but somewhat fascinated
>sits down in the corner of the room pretending to be a chair

May 15, 2012 at 10:48PM EDT
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>Finally Became the Other Guy
>Pan teased Alejandro and Zach

May 15, 2012 at 11:05PM EDT
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>Reenact the “It could be me” Scene from Meet the Spy

May 15, 2012 at 11:11PM EDT
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>Explosive Lasers furiously “throwing the mouse against the wall”
>Everyone teling him to stop
>The lap dance didn’t help the fapping
>Saporian is laying on the floor
>Stuck in his “O” Face
>Lopunny Takes the bodies outside
>Pyro incinerates them
>Everyone in the master bedroom except Zach
>He went into the guest room
>He wanted to watch the burning
>In the master room, Lasers stops fapping and Saporian recovers
>They hear a high pitched shriek
>Run to the guest room
>Zach is on the ground outside
>All his limbs are broken
>Skitch says:
>“Looks like this Softboiled egg was puts on sunglasses Cracked”
>YEEEEEEEEEEAH
>3 Down. 10 Left

Player List
Zacharias
Admiral Serious
Skitch
Pan
Zarathh
Karzkae
Cheese Stick
Saporian
Pyro
Lasers
Lopunny
SwaGIR
Alejandro

EDIT That’s the last murder for tonight. I’ll post more tomorrow.

Last edited May 15, 2012 at 11:18PM EDT
May 15, 2012 at 11:12PM EDT
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>All this murder killed my boner
>Voice sadness at another brave life lost to this madness
>Explain that I was talking about my penis
>Disregard haters
>Ask why we haven’t called the police
>Dial 911
>A pissed off Russian answers
>Who was phone?

May 15, 2012 at 11:16PM EDT
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>Thinks to myself if I should call the police
>Nah, I’ll go there in person
>Goes to get my bike from the garage that I road over here with
>Goes and rides to the Police station and tells them about the killings

May 15, 2012 at 11:21PM EDT
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>Pan falls to ground.
>Alejandro and I teabag Pan together.
>Friendship always wins.

May 15, 2012 at 11:25PM EDT
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>Slowly gets up to find Pan getting double teamed
>Realizes I will never get a lap dance from a real woman that loves me
>Deep depression
>Forever alone
>Realizes I have the internet
>Together alone
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg
>Smells like barbecue sauce

May 15, 2012 at 11:36PM EDT

>I come back in, with a box of pizza
>mfw when Cheese Stick and Alejandro teabag Pan:

May 15, 2012 at 11:38PM EDT
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>Realize that Cheese Stick was actually a Woman

>Punch Alejandro in the Testicles instead

Last edited May 16, 2012 at 06:18PM EDT
May 16, 2012 at 06:17PM EDT
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Don’t fret none my bitches, I’m back
>Alejandro recovering his testicles
>Zarathh returns
>Reports that everyone except the 10 left are dead
>Except the angry russian on the phone
>Saporian finally finds the source of the smell
>It was Lopunny’s pizza
>It was topped with BBQ Chicken
>Skitch hates BBQ
>Flips the table
>Time for bed
>Everyone goes off in pairs/trios to sleep
>Except Explosive Lasers
>No one wants to be near him
>He’s, err, covered
>Wake up the next morning
>Everyone meets up downstairs besides Lasers
>He was embarrassed
>Alejandro plays Great Gig in the Sky on piano
>Cheese Stick sings along
> Like this
>Cowboy hat dude is Alejandro and the woman is Cheese
>‘Tis a tribute to the fallen
>Pyro needs to use bathroom
>Goes to the upstairs shitter
>Loud scream
>Here we go again
>Pyro runs outside
>Begins shooting flames eere whurr
>Others go up to see why
>Find Explosive Lasers
>Silly Pony, Plastic Bags don’t go over your air holes
>4 Down. 9 Left

Player List
Zacharias
Admiral Serious
Skitch
Pan
Zarathh
Karzkae
Cheese Stick
Saporian
Pyro
Explosive Lasers
Lopunny
SwaGIR
Alejandro

Last edited May 16, 2012 at 06:59PM EDT
May 16, 2012 at 06:57PM EDT
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Skeletor-sm

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