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Hurt/Heal VIII - The Elite

Last posted Jul 15, 2012 at 10:14PM EDT. Added May 26, 2012 at 11:04PM EDT
517 posts from 27 users

The same rules of course will apply. Hurt someone and heal someone every two hours. When the playing field goes down to five characters, we will enter SUDDEN DEATH in which you may only hurt someone once every hour. I love some dramatic narration involving the actions of the battle.

Frank West – 15
Dante – 15
Leon Kennedy – 15
George W. Bush – 15
Abraham Lincoln – 15
Discord – 15
Lady Gaga – 15
Adele – 15
LeBron James – 15
Dolan – 15
Success Kid – 15
Ridiculously Photogenic Guy – 15
Max Payne – 15
Carl “CJ” Johnson – 15
Ichigo Kurosaki – 15
Robocop – 15
Mr. Rogers – 15
Marth – 15
Bang Shishigami – 15
Samus Aran – 15

Now, I want a good and bloody fight. Ready, set, GO!

Last edited May 26, 2012 at 11:23PM EDT

Heal Robocop.

Hurt Dubya.

(If you don’t know who I’m talking about, Robocop probably ought to do something about you too.)

Discord, despite being the god of chaos and mischief, flew into a flurry of confusion upon spotting Lady Gaga’s most recent ensemble. “I am god of chaos, not mental retardation!” He declared in anger, turning the Lady’s clothing into liquid nitrogen. Which, as expected, did less damage than science dictated it should have, considering who cast the spell.

Heal Discord

Hurt Lady Gaga

Robocop takes some lasers blasts from Samus but easily shakes it off. He’s Robocop, he can withstand anything

Robocop turns to George Bush and recognizes him as a threat to public safety, he pulls out his automatic pistol and guns the war-mongering president down

Heal Robocop
Hurt Dubya.

Alejandro wrote:

Heal Abraham Lincoln
Hurt George W. Bush
Someone should make a “Hurt/Heal KYM” with a bunch of users from KYM battling. Is that a good idea?

Someone suggested that idea, but it was popularly rejected.

Anyways, I’m going to heal the Son of Sparda himself Dante and hurt Little Bushie.

President Bush has heard rumors that the Weapons of Mass Destruction was around here. He didn’t find weapons, but everyone unleashed their mass destruction on the former president. Meanwhile, Dante is powering up by buying a few health items. Meanwhile Discord looks at his opponents as he is happy that there are no ponies around him. So he decides to attack the Mother Monster Lady Gaga.

Robocop affords Bush the right to an attorney (after shooting him) and changes his target to the next criminal offender in sight.

He scans Discord and finds a warrant for his stone encapsulation in over 50 magical horse kingdoms on the account of anarchy/terrorism, grand theft friendship, illegal physics manipulations and heroin trafficking, Robocop moves in to apprehend (Read: opens fire with automatic weapons)

Heal Robocop
Hurt Discord

Discord, spotting everybody’s malice to Dubya, believed it would be a wise decision to join in the fray by beating the crap out of the unfortunate president.

Which is exactly why he did not do that, and instead decided to turn Robocop’s guns into super-soakers that spray piss on his enemies.

Heal Discord
Hurt Robocop

Heal Dante, hurt Bush.

Bush is bleeding on the ground while at the feet of the legendary demon hunter. Bush tries to call his secret service, but it’s too late. Before Dante decides to finish off Bush, he recognizes Discord. 2000 years ago, Discord opened a portal that connected the demon world with Equestria. Soon Celestia and Luna were forced to fight Discord’s army of demons, but little did Discord know, Dante’s father, Sparda, arrived and helped the ponies defeat Discord and closed the demon world portal. Dante tells Discord that he’s next.

Meanwhile, CJ comes across Marth and accuse him of being Balla. Marth who has never seen a black man before engage in a battle, but CJ calls his Grove Street allies which results in Marth being pinned down by bunch of gun shooting gang members.

Frank West – 16
Dante – 20
Leon Kennedy – 15
George W. Bush – 2
Abraham Lincoln – 16
Discord – 17
Lady Gaga – 13
Adele – 15
LeBron James – 15
Dolan – 14
Success Kid – 15
Ridiculously Photogenic Guy – 14
Max Payne – 15
Carl “CJ” Johnson – 19
Ichigo Kurosaki – 15
Robocop – 15
Mr. Rogers – 15
Marth – 10
Bang Shishigami – 17
Samus Aran – 16

Last edited May 27, 2012 at 07:37PM EDT

1. Dante – 20
2. Carl “CJ” Johnson – 19
3. Bang Shishigami – 17
3. Discord – 17
5. Frank West – 16
5. Abraham Lincoln – 16
5. Samus Aran – 16
8. Leon Kennedy – 15
8. Adele – 15
8. LeBron James – 15
8. Success Kid – 15
8. Max Payne – 15
8. Ichigo Kurosaki – 15
8. Robocop – 15
8. Mr. Rogers – 15
16. Dolan – 14
16. Ridiculously Photogenic Guy – 14
18. Lady Gaga – 13
19. Marth – 10
20. George W. Bush – 2
fixed list.

Captain Douglas J Falcon wrote:

1. Dante – 20
2. Carl “CJ” Johnson – 19
3. Bang Shishigami – 17
3. Discord – 17
5. Frank West – 16
5. Abraham Lincoln – 16
5. Samus Aran – 16
8. Leon Kennedy – 15
8. Adele – 15
8. LeBron James – 15
8. Success Kid – 15
8. Max Payne – 15
8. Ichigo Kurosaki – 15
8. Robocop – 15
8. Mr. Rogers – 15
16. Dolan – 14
16. Ridiculously Photogenic Guy – 14
18. Lady Gaga – 13
19. Marth – 10
20. George W. Bush – 2
fixed list.

Thanks. Also, how do you color text?

Last edited May 27, 2012 at 08:00PM EDT

1. Dante – 20
2. Carl “CJ” Johnson – 19
3. Bang Shishigami – 17
3. Discord – 17
5. Frank West – 16
5. Abraham Lincoln – 16
5. Samus Aran – 16
8. Leon Kennedy – 15
8. Adele – 15
8. LeBron James – 15
8. Success Kid – 15
8. Max Payne – 15
8. Ichigo Kurosaki – 15
8. Robocop – 15
8. Mr. Rogers – 15
16. Dolan – 14
16. Ridiculously Photogenic Guy – 14
18. Lady Gaga – 13
19. Marth – 10
20. George W. Bush – 2

Last edited May 27, 2012 at 08:33PM EDT

1. Dante – 22
2. Carl “CJ” Johnson – 20
3. Bang Shishigami – 17
3. Abraham Lincoln – 17
3. Robocop – 17
5. Frank West – 16
5. Samus Aran – 16
8. Leon Kennedy – 15
8. Adele – 15
8. LeBron James – 15
8. Success Kid – 15
8. Max Payne – 15
8. Ichigo Kurosaki – 15
8. Discord – 15
8. Mr. Rogers – 15
16. Dolan – 14
16. Ridiculously Photogenic Guy – 14
18. Lady Gaga – 12
19. Marth – 9
20. George W. Bush – 1

Last edited May 27, 2012 at 11:11PM EDT

Heal Dante, KILL BUSH!!!!

Bush’s last stand takes place at an altar where Bush is trying to absorb the power of the Weapons of Mass Destruction. However, Dante arrives and reveals that the WOMD does not exist and that Bush is absorbing nothing.

Bush: But Cheney told me that I would become King of the Universe. WWAAAHHH! No fair!

Dante: King? Well here’s your crown.

Dante shots two bullets into Bush’s head.

Now, Dante must travel to Equestria before Discord unleashes hell to Ponyville.

Last edited May 28, 2012 at 12:48AM EDT

“Not much of a competition,” Discord mumbles while looking down the list. He had this game from the very start. Suddenly, he sees one name that he doesn’t like very much for some reason: Success Kid. How can a mere child be successful as him, Discord, twice the ruler of Equestria, and the very embodiment of chaos itself? If anything, it should be “Success Discord!” Enraged, Discord vows to himself that he will find this so called, Success Kid, wherever he may be, and hunt him down.

Heal Discord
Hurt Success Kid

Robocop can no longer detect a heartbeat emanating from George Bush. “Target Eliminated” he says to himself and Robocop begins scanning for the next armed offender that presents the largest threat to public safety.

He see’s Discord still around despite shooting him earlier, “Update database: Subject Discord impervious to 5.56 rounds” Robocop says to himself again and looks for yet another target.

Then Lada gaga comes within close range of Robocop after being thrown across the room from a rocket, Robocop identifies her bra as being a pair of unregistered M4 carbine assault rifles.

“Halt Citizen, drop your weapons. You have 15 seconds to comply” Robocop announces, pointing to her heavily armed jugs

“I’m not taking off my bra!” Lady Gaga retorts

“Unlawful resistance detected. Engaging…”

Heal Robocop
Hurt Lady Gaga

Skeletor-sm

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