Forums / Fun! / Riff-Raff

305,984 total conversations in 8,818 threads

+ New Thread


Alejandro's Murder Mystery Thread, Book VI: This Time It's for Real

Last posted Jun 28, 2012 at 04:41PM EDT. Added Jun 21, 2012 at 05:50PM EDT
44 posts from 14 users

Ok guys, you probably know the drill by now. This time, I’m gonna finish the story I started. First ten posters get in the game.
Go.

Jun 21, 2012 at 05:50PM EDT
Quote

In

Jun 21, 2012 at 05:51PM EDT

I demand another surprise guest appearance from Bob. If you don’t mind, of course.

Jun 21, 2012 at 05:52PM EDT
Quote

In bitches

Oohohohohoh FINALLY.

Last edited Jun 21, 2012 at 05:55PM EDT
Jun 21, 2012 at 05:55PM EDT
Quote

Oooh im in!

Jun 21, 2012 at 05:57PM EDT

Captain Douglas J Falcon wrote:

I’M in again.

Douglas is an “AMMT” veteran.

Jun 21, 2012 at 05:58PM EDT
Quote

I KNOW YOU’RE OUT THERE DON’T PLAY MIND GAMES WITH ME FUCKERS

Jun 21, 2012 at 08:07PM EDT
Quote

Players List:
Moon
Bob
Pyro
Zarathh
Wheatley
Aperture
Douglas
Tim
Slappy
madcat

We’ll start tomorrow, I’ll PM the murderer now.

Jun 21, 2012 at 10:05PM EDT
Quote

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

Can i still join Alejandro?

Jun 21, 2012 at 11:11PM EDT

Sorry, Seal. But I’ll save you a spot in the next one.
>We’re back
>I’m back
>Everyone’s back
>Link is back
>Kirby is back
>-Megaman is- We get it
>The paramedics are here
>Nobody died, just all ten of them are paramedics (again)
>They get called into an assault scene
>This was no accident
>Douglas and Slappy ride in the back with the victim
>madcat and Aperture are driving in the front
>The others are at the station or whatever
>Suddenly, a truck comes barreling towards amber lamps
>The truck smashes into the back of the amber lamps
>The victim of the assault miraculously lives and is completely fine after the accident
>Three of our friends are in critical condition
>But Douglas is dead
>DEAD
>He’s dead
>Dead
>Douglas is dead
>9 left
>Douglas died (btw)

Jun 22, 2012 at 11:52AM EDT
Quote

GOD.
FUCKING.
DAMNIT.
also, I guess Pyro.
I don’t know why.
slappy aperture and madcat are somewhat proven, btw.

Last edited Jun 22, 2012 at 12:46PM EDT
Jun 22, 2012 at 12:40PM EDT
Quote

Wheatley. I’m guessing Wheatley

Jun 22, 2012 at 12:52PM EDT

>So Douglas is dead
>In case that wasn’t clear enough for you
>Aperture and madcat make a full recovery from the “accident”
>Slappy went all Stephen Hawking and rides around in one of those talkie wheelchair thingies
>As a joke, when Slappy falls asleep, they type things in is keyboard
>“Pyro is a sexy boy” says Slappy
>“Moon has breathtaking titties”
>“Bob gives me a boner”
>You know, if Slappy could get a boner
>But this is a somber day
>At Douglas’s funeral (it feels like we’ve done this before)
>But history repeats itself
>At the reception (because Dougls wanted them to be happy)
>Drinking champagne
>They all seem a tad too happy he died
>Later
>Around the table, the nine paramedics are telling stories about Douglas
>Tim’s up
>Starts talking about someone who had a seizure when he and Douglas were in the ambulance
>He starts fake seizing
>For a while
>Still doing it
>They realize he’s actually seizing
>Crap
>It’s too late
>Tim is dead
>Drugs were found in his system
>Somebody slipped him something
>’Twas no accident
>8 left
>And Douglas is dead

Last edited Jun 23, 2012 at 12:56PM EDT
Jun 23, 2012 at 12:56PM EDT
Quote

Damn, btw sorry for not participating yesterday I did not see your thread so I assumed you were not ready.

Last edited Jun 23, 2012 at 02:00PM EDT
Jun 23, 2012 at 01:57PM EDT
Quote

>Alejandro mentioned my name
>My surprise guest appearance has been made

Sweet.

Jun 23, 2012 at 08:58PM EDT
Quote

>Douglas is dead
>That’s getting really old really fast
>8 paramedics left
>Including our resident sexy lady paramedic, Nightmare Moon
>They’re all at Alejandro’s house
>He’s on vacation so he lent them his house
>Wheatley says “Hey, where are Pyro and Moon”
>Pyro is out sitting at the table with everyone
>Moon is cooking, of course
>Shit Wheatley
>Get it together
>They notice somebody’s missing
>Hear a banging coming from Alejandro’s closet
>Run the fuck upstairs to see who it is
>It’s Zarathh
>Stabbed 55,609 times in the chest
>Christ
>How did anyone not notice this
>Well somebody was in there with him
>Anyone wanna speak up?
>No?
>Ok then
>I mentioned Zarathh’s name at least once
>It’s ok that he died now
>7 paramedics left

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Players List:
Moon
Bob
Pyro
Zarathh
Wheatley
Aperture
Douglas
Tim
Slappy
madcat

Last edited Jun 23, 2012 at 09:34PM EDT
Jun 23, 2012 at 09:18PM EDT
Quote

>Not being one to waste any time
>Alejandro decides to get one more person killed
>Killed: (read: murder)
>They take what’s left of Zarathh’s mutilated body
>Take it down to the cemetery
>Bury it themselves
>They don’t wanna have another freaking funeral
>Waste no time in tossing him in the same damn hole as Douglas
>(Who is dead)
>They didn’t bury Tim btw
>Don’t ask me why
>Drunk assholes decide to fill the hole with cement
>Aperture starts making out with Moon
>Pyro’s fw
>He punched Aperture
>At least, he tries to punch Aperture
>Misses completely
>Yet Aperture still falls down
>Falls straight into the hole
>The very same hole they’re filling with cement
>His beer was drugged
>At least they assume that because he was piled-on by wet cement
>What a terrible death
>But a death nonetheless, my children
>6 sexy bastards/bitches left

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Players List:
Moon
Bob
Pyro
Zarathh
Wheatley
Aperture
Douglas
Tim
Slappy
madcat

Jun 23, 2012 at 09:44PM EDT
Quote

@ Post above

I managed to make out with Moon AND died a hilarious honorable death.

Jun 23, 2012 at 09:52PM EDT

HEY GUYS I WANNA-

Jun 24, 2012 at 10:16PM EDT

>Told you I’d go ‘til the end on this one
>6 of my children left
>Douglas is alive
>Loljk he’s really dead
>Damn, creativity is hard
>So they’re all at Alejandro’s house still
>Despite the fucking murder that happened there
>Bob and Pyro suggest a fun-filled karaoke time
>Hah, Slappy’s paralyzed, he can’t sing
>So Moon and Pyro do a duet of “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart”
>By Elton John
>And Kkidkidikdkiededdddeeeekidieikeikeidee (read: Kiki Dee)
>Up next is Bob and madcat
>Singing Yyz by Rush
>It’s a fucking instrumental dumbshits
>Next is Slappy and Wheatley
>Christ, Slappy
>Everyone gets butthurt because he can’t sing
>He cries and runs wheels upstairs in Alejandro’s huge-ass house
>Nobody follows him
>Minutes later, a huge crash is heard
>It’s Slappy
>He jumped rolled out the window
>And you assholes did nothing to save him
>Wow
>5 left
>Assholes (but good singing)
>But you’re still assholes

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Player List:
Moon
Bob
Pyro
Zarathh
Wheatley
Aperture
Douglas
Tim
Slappy
madcat

Jun 25, 2012 at 08:42AM EDT
Quote

>Whoa everyone
>Stop posting so much in my thread
>Damn
>Anyways
>5 left
>They’re all on duty that day
>Every paramedic is being fucking murdered
>At the scene of a burning building
>It’s been burning for a while
>The smoke fills the air
>Ironically they recruit Pyro to go into the building
>Goes in and fucking saves everyone
>What a champ
>Is on fire when he comes out
>Is immune to fire
>404 FUCKS NOT GIVEN
>Wheatley goes in because he’s jealous of Pyro
>Because Moon is damn sexy
>Hear a scream
>Shattering glass
>Flames erupt from a 17th story window
>A body falls out
>Everyone runs to it
>Lotsa commotion
>Lotsa spaghetti
>But it’s Wheatley’s body
>And Wheatley is surely dead
>4 dickfaces remaining
>Dammit
>I hate you guys

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Player List:
Moon
Bob
Pyro
Zarathh
Wheatley
Aperture
Douglas
Tim
Slappy
madcat

Jun 25, 2012 at 10:02PM EDT
Quote

I bet it’s Moon. Bodies don’t fly out of windows by themselves.

Jun 26, 2012 at 12:43AM EDT
Quote

Wait, I’m actually IN this game?…

…Madcat’s claims make sense. Moon and Pyro have survived this long. There must be a reason for that.

Jun 26, 2012 at 03:25PM EDT
Quote

>We’re down to the wire
>Then suddenly they become the Fantastic Four
>Human Torch: Pyro
>Invisible Girl: Moon
>Mr. Fantastic: Bob
>The Thing: madcat
>Because this is the perfect situation for that
>The Golden Gate Bridge is collapsing
>People are gonna die
>Shit’s getting fucked
>And so is Moon
>By Pyro
>Wait
>They’re brother and sister in the comics
>OH GOD WHY
>Anyway
>madcat the horrible mutant Thing is the only one doing shit
>Bob is using his stretchy powers to entertain children
>Fuck those guys
>Trying to hold it up
>madcat falls over the edge
>Hanging on for dear life
>A mysterious voice comes from above
>“Hello”
>“Please, help me, my friend that I know and is one of the Fantastic Four” says madcat
>“Oh I’ll help you”
>Stranger used WATER GUN
>It’s super effective
>Wild madcat fainted fell into the frigid waters below and died a cold, slow death
>Lol
>They’re now the Fantastic Three

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Player List:
Moon
Bob
Pyro
Zarathh
Wheatley
Aperture
Douglas
Tim
Slappy
madcat

Jun 26, 2012 at 04:32PM EDT
Quote

I’m REALLY Suspicious of Pyro right now.
Fir one, I dies first, and I remember a while a back in a thread I pissed pyro off, and the purning building scenario Pyro would have had the easiest time getting to Wheatley.

Jun 26, 2012 at 08:32PM EDT
Quote

>So there’s three left
>Pyro, his sexy sexy sexy girlfriend Moon, and Bob
>They’re back at Alejandro’s house
>Alejandro is working today
>He’s also a paramedic
>Saving lives like a hoss
>The three left are off
>Sitting on Ale’s couch sweating their asses off
>They’re all in their underwear
>Moon suggests something
>A threeway, you say?
>“Yes please” agrees Bob
>Pyro is displeased
>Moon is his
>He jelly
>Bob gets on top of Moon and does sex to her
>Feels her body
>Nice job Bob
>Pyro punches Bob in the face
>Bob storms out
>Moon is really horny
>Not gonna say what she does next without Pyro in the room
>After she does that thing she goes upstairs to bed
>With Pyro because they sleep together
>Pyro wakes up in the morning
>Apologizes to Moon
>OR RATHER HER DEAD BODY GASP
>Because Moon is dead
>As is Douglas
>Only Pyro and Bob remain

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Player List:
Moon
Bob
Pyro
Zarathh
Wheatley
Aperture
Douglas
Tim
Slappy
madcat

Last edited Jun 28, 2012 at 03:44PM EDT
Jun 28, 2012 at 03:43PM EDT
Quote

>So Moon has died
>Er, been killed
>ALL OF THIS HAPPENED IN ALEJANDRO’S HOUSE
>WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MY HIS HOUSE
>The police show up after Alejandro discovers the body
>Alejandro found both bodies when he came home
>Detectives Benson and Stabler are there
>Wait that doesn’t make sense this isn’t a sex crime
>Well fuck you guys I wrote it that way
>Benson says “The guy, Pyro, kills his girlfriend”
>“Can’t live with the guilt so he hangs himself”
>CSU finds a note in the closet
>Stabler reads it aloud:
> Dear Pyro
> I’m sorry for all I put you nine friends through
> You all mean the world to me
> But if I didn’t kill you all, I’d never know who I really was
> That’s why I left the country forever
> I’m sorry
> Your friend for Eternity,
> Bob
>“Pretty sadistic bastard, Liv” says Stabler
>“No” says Benson
>“Just sad”

Murderer: Bob

Last edited Jun 28, 2012 at 04:12PM EDT
Jun 28, 2012 at 04:10PM EDT
Quote
Skeletor-sm

This thread is closed to new posts.

Old threads normally auto-close after 30 days of inactivity.

Why don't you start a new thread instead?

Word Up! You must login or signup first!